Skip to main content

Surgically removed

By February 12, 2010Blogging, How To

On Tuesday, my baby girl, the fruit of my loins, is having surgery. I’ve been effectively not thinking about this for weeks. But now it’s right here, days away. It’s a supposedly easy, out-patient thing, but she has to go completely under – and, well, it’s surgery. And she’s so little.

She’s having surgery to have her adenoids removed because she can’t breathe and because we’ve tried everything else and because they’re causing her pain and discomfort and hearing loss and tooth decay and god knows what else.

So, I’m trying to find something good here in this situation – because to sit around and worry is, well, really stupid. And here’s what occurred to me. There are times when I have tried everything, when I’ve explored every option – but the pain and discomfort and god knows what else is still there.

How cool would it be if surgery were an option for me? There are some things I’d like to have surgically removed. Like my knack for procrastination and people that don’t use their turn signals and the scarcity of time and my intense need for Vanilla Coconut Bliss with carob powder smushed into it.

I’d love to have those things hacked off. Or sucked out. Like liposuction.

In one of my favorite movies, Someone Like You, Ashley Judd goes to the doctor and asks him to remove her amygdala  – the part of the brain that retains sense memory – because every time she smells laundry or vanilla it reminds her of her ex-boyfriend and she’s thrown into a tailspin of heartache. It’s a fantastic scene. Raise your hand if you can relate.

What about you? What would you have removed? You know, if you could do it painlessly, easily, with no recovery time required – oh, and, of course, if your health insurance would cover it.

Image credit: aesop

Join the discussion 23 Comments

  • Van says:

    Good question! My fear. Period. So I can brave life without cares, and round house kick anyone in the face who has something to say about it! (Then run away to Mexico to avoid prosecution!)

    I hope the fruit of your loins will come out unscathed!
    .-= Van´s last blog ..My Dream Horror House Part 1 =-.

  • Charlie says:

    I’d have a surgeon remove the things that rob me of joy: anxiety & depression. I’d rather have them removed surgically than be on meds my whole life. Oh, and every Neil Diamond song I’ve ever heard. You can have those too.

  • Julie Roads says:

    Wow – I am loving that somehow, miracle of miracles, I forgot to mention fear! I must not have any fear anymore!;)

  • CJ says:

    Oh, if only we could! Procrastination would definitely have to go! I am currently reading and commenting on blogs instead of doing the accounting that awaits me…

    Try not to focus on Tuesday, but Wed. and how wonderful it will be to have this behind you both… and your daughter feeling better by the minute! Best wishes!

  • Ann says:

    Worry, plain and simple. I worry about everything and it does me no good at all. I would have worry surgically removed from my life even if a little pain was involved.

  • Alisa Bowman says:

    Yeah–I’d love to have my propensity to worry removed. Along with some of my negative thoughts (not willing to part with all of them though, because some of them make me a better writer and make me laugh at myself).

    So hard when a little one has to be medicalized in any way. You’ll get yourself through it the same way you get yourself through something like the Tower of Terror–telling yourself that it will be over soon and that everything will be fine in the end.
    .-= Alisa Bowman´s last blog ..The Oddest Communication Advice You’ll Ever Read =-.

  • Rachel says:

    Great post. I’d have to say fear and worry…I’d definitely like to do both a little bit less!

  • Edgy Mama says:

    Both my kids had adenoids and tonsils removed when they were small. It went well, except both vomited all over me coming out of anesthesia. Take a change of clothes with you.

    Other than having about six pounds of fat surgically removed, I’d be happy to let go of anxiety and insomnia.
    .-= Edgy Mama´s last blog ..Weekly parent: feed your kids, help Haiti =-.

  • Andi says:

    I would have my need to always be right removed, it causes trouble for me. Sending good thoughts for your baby girl.
    .-= Andi´s last blog ..I floated over a mountain =-.

  • Dina Lyons says:

    Perhaps Andi and I could get a two-for-one, I need help with wanting to be right all the time, and while you’re at it, please also remove my tendency to interrupt.

    Our older son had his tonsils and adenoids removed, and he has been sleeping better ever since–definitely worth it. Bring extra clothes, buy lots of ice cream, and don’t be surprised if your daughter’s voice sounds different afterwards (it might be higher).

  • Julie Roads says:

    Wow, really Dina? I hadn’t heard about the voice. I love her little voice! But I guess it will be worth it. Thanks for everyone for your incredible support!

  • Chris says:

    Both my daughters had their’s out at aroung 5 years old due to bad sleep apnea (sp?)… one just a few month’s ago and both their voices were higher afterwards but it only lasted a couple weeks then they normalized. Now I have to put mirrors under their noses to tell if they are sleeping. We’ve also noticed their moods are generally better during the day due to overall better sleep quality. Even so we were both very nervous about the surgery.

    I wish I could have my worrying about my kids removed. I never had gray hair before I became a father… and that didn’t happen until I was in my 40s.

  • Sorry about your daughter. Surgery on your kids suck big time. My 3 year old has had 9 major surgeries and they all sucked. Stay strong, it is over relatively quickly.

    I had that same surgery she will have when I was about 7, tonsils and adenoids both. recovery wasn’t too bad as I remember. Lots of ice cream and presents from grandparents.

    I would have my laziness removed and replaced with a duracell or maybe that thing from Iron Man’s chest.

    Good luck with the surgery.
    .-= Justin Matthews´s last blog ..To Pre-write, ahh the value =-.

  • Bert Jackson says:

    First, best thoughts and support for your kidlet (and you).

    Second, I thought a bit about what I would want removed. Naturally there are annoyances and challenges in life, but at my advancing age my perception of them is changing. I like who I am as a result of the challenges I’ve faced. I’m definitely more at peace with being accepting of the challenges and crises. In most cases, the outcome is far less painful (and sometimes even pleasant) than my creative imagination envisioned.

    And why in all that is Holy would you want to remove the desire for Vanilla Coconut Bliss with carob powder smushed into it?!?

  • Julie Roads says:

    You are all so wonderful. Thank you.

    Bert – it’s not that I want to give up my desire for that delicious food, but I want to give up my insatiable need for it. You know, so I could just have some every now and again like a normal person.

  • Bert Jackson says:

    Julie – Ha! Normalcy is highly overrated.

  • Your beautiful little daughter will sail through this ordeal with flying colors. You, however, will be a nervous wreck. Just keep imaging how much better your daughter’s life will be after the surgery – fewer earaches, fewer colds, fewer sore throats.

    I’d remove about 20 years from my age, but only if I could know what I know now. I’d like to have some more time to put to use everything I’ve learned :o)

  • --Deb says:

    Aw, poor baby! I’m sure she’ll be fine, but I can imagine (or try to imagine) how hard this will be for you.

    For me? I’d remove my ability at procrastination. I’m WAY too skilled at that.
    .-= –Deb´s last blog ..Kindle Revisited =-.

  • Laura says:

    I have this negative voice in my head that gets in my way! I’ happily pay to have it removed and buried.

    Best of luck with the surgery.
    .-= Laura´s last blog ..Saturday’s Sex Quote =-.

  • Physically, I’d have my melanoma scar removed. I used to need to tell that story, and now I’m done. It’s prominent and especially in short-sleeve season, I get asked about it a lot. I’d rather not explain anymore.

    I wouldn’t remove my fear. But I would certainly remove my self-doubt.
    .-= lynn @ human, being´s last blog ..Days of Grace: 303/365 =-.

Leave a Reply