Every day I make a to-do list. Typically, I write it at the end of the day – so I know what ‘tomorrow’ will look like and so I can really (attempt) to let go of work when I go home, you know, because a piece of paper is holding down the fort for me. (Odd sidenote: my to-do list is the ONLY work thing I do on paper. I’m sure it’s because I LOVE crossing things off the list with a good old-fashioned pen.)
So, the last thing I do before I leave my office is make my new to-do list. The second to last thing I do is look at the current day’s list to take stock of all I’ve accomplished. And, I’ve noticed this pattern recently. Somewhere in between the tasks that I’ve crossed off, the notes that I’ve scribbled down throughout the day and my incessant doodling (3-D boxes and stars circa 2nd grade), there is always one to-do that I did not complete.
It isn’t usually a huge or monumental task, though sometimes it is. And sometimes, it’s the same thing that I’ve managed to not complete over and over, day after day. Point is – there’s always something.
Why? I wonder. Wouldn’t it feel fabulous to have everything done? You’ll have to tell me, I wouldn’t know.
I have two thoughts about my ‘issue’. First, I think it’s left over trauma from college where, if you remember, we were simply never done. Right? There was always something that had to be read or written.
Or. It’s simply that I hate goodbyes and endings (unless it’s a headache or a mean person that I’m leaving), so this remaining task must be some kind of anchor. A thread that ties me back to my office, my business, my writing – making it truly impossible for me to let go and disconnect. Like a love note, promising that I will be back.