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By June 13, 2017October 1st, 2017Poem

What exactly am I

Waiting for


Do I think

The answer

Will just

Present itself


Like an escape hatch

Or a magical door

Or a carpet ride

Or the warmest, safest embrace







Did I mention Ease


Are the wares it’s hawking

This thing I want


Or do I have to pray

Which I don’t know how to do


Though I can sit silently

And sink in

And feel nothing

if not peace


Who am I to ask for anything

To ask for help

For an exit

For Ease

For what would just make everything okay

Even good

Even GOD

Even heaven?


When I don’t even

Believe it’s possible

When I can hardly imagine it

The being without the



Non-ease, of course


In the meantime

I’m working

With clay inside and out

and Pushing and prodding my intestines

and Lemon

and Bergamot

and Cinnamon

and Frankincense

and walking

and yoga

and green water

and lymph massage

and iodine

and brushing

and oil pulling

and this

and that

and the other thing

and that one, too


I don’t see a change

I don’t feel a change


I mean

Do I feel worse?

Do I?


I feel tired and sore and stiff

It all seems to be getting harder

None of what has been promised

I look older everyday

Especially in the morning

When I used to wake up beautiful

(even according to me)


And so I have

This birdfeeder

To provide for at least these birds









Blue Jay

Dove, mourning, of course

So many of those


To say – look it’s all right here

It doesn’t have to be hard

And you don’t have to work

Here is everything you need

Let me help you

It’s all right here


At least some beings can have it that easy

And at least I have a part in it


If only to be the one

To make it so

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