If only my brain were pregnant.

You know how everyone makes all the usual jokes about pregnancy and food cravings? Pickles and ice cream will always be hilarious, but these cravings are a serious force to be reckoned with. If I could bottle them, I’d be rich.

I remember distinctly a feeling of almost possession when I was craving something. Like the baby was calling for protein and my stomach wanted carbs and my bones wanted calcium and my mouth wanted butter and salt – so I ended up eating dark sourdough toast with a 1/4 stick of butter, feta cheese and smoked salmon, sprinkled with jalapeno stuffed green olives. Ah, satisfaction.

And who was I but the vehicle, the deliverer of the goods? None of it was my doing – not the urges, not the recipe development, nuthin’. And it works, right? The body calls, we give it what it needs and wowza, we make a baby. Another human being. How magnificent!

Today, I was trying to write a piece for a client and I was thinking – I wish different parts of my brain would activate like my pregnant body. (FYI, this next part is actually biologically correct. Ha! You do have to be a brain surgeon to run a blog!!!)

  • My hindbrain would call for the smooth flow of muscle function so that I could type and sit up straight,
  • my limbic system would insist on emotion and sense memory,
  • and my neocortex would demand exciting verbs and perfect wordage.

And I’d just sit there at my computer on autopilot spewing viciously remarkable prose until at last I had created a glorious final draft from what was once just a blank page. To the writer? Yes, it’s just as magnificent a feat as the production of a baby. Plus, good copy doesn’t whine or spill milk and it pays for itself. Now that’s a thing of beauty.

Image credit: Bob Fornal

Join the discussion 9 Comments

  • Van says:

    I love this post! This reminds me of my fantasies. I fantasize about having the willpower to finish 20 SEO articles in one day without succumbing to distractions. The brain needs constant stimulation and inspiration and sometimes starting at the blank screen and writing on one topic for months on end just won’t cut it.

    Let me get back to that work, now…
    .-= Van´s last blog ..Dreaming of Spring =-.

  • Amanda says:

    So what you’re saying is that I should get pregnant so that my brain finally switches on? My husband will be thrilled! Haha. No, but seriously, I too yearn for uninterrupted workings.

    Instead, I’m a web magpie.

    Ooo shiny!
    .-= Amanda´s last blog ..Monkey Bars =-.

  • Julie Roads says:

    NO AMANDA! I did NOT say that!!!! In fact, when you’re pregnant and nursing and having toddlers you will be stupider, foggier and more incoherent than you have ever been.

    But way to manipulate my words, girlfriend.

  • Amanda says:

    That’s what I’m here for, darlin’! <3
    .-= Amanda´s last blog ..Monkey Bars =-.

  • Andi says:

    Great post! The brain is such a powerful and to think we only use a small percentage of it…some less than others, but who’s counting!
    .-= Andi´s last blog ..A Seven Hour Voyage for Beef Fajitas =-.

  • Allie says:

    Julie,

    Just wanted to say I stumbled across your blog recently and have been loving it. As an introspective writer myself, who’s always looking for a way to process what’s going on around me through the art of words, your posts are refreshing and enlightening.

    So thanks! Keep at it.
    Allie

  • Julie Roads says:

    Hi Allie! Thank you so much for taking the time to un-introspect and come say hello. Comments like this fill my heart to overflowing.
    You keep at it too…
    Julie

  • I posted a comment but I don’t see it. My internet is having issues. If this shows up twice, sorry

    What I said was, My wife is currently pregnant again and her mind slips something awful when the hormones rage. so if your Brain is pregnant, does that mean your body will slip and have issues or, because the brain controls the body will it make the body better? Pregnant brain=super powers????
    Just wondering
    Justin

  • Julie Roads says:

    Justin – in my world, I get to pick and choose what I want to include. So I was just choosing this one super power of the pregnant body calling forth the perfect foods/nutrients. And making an analogy where the brain could call forth the perfect words.

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