We all have our battles – with ourselves. Writers? Ours can be just gruesome.
I love talking to new clients. I love writing proposals. I love getting the call that says, ‘We want to hire YOU!’ I love the research. I love the concepting. I love the writing. I love the feedback. I love the revisions. I love the getting paid.
I don’t love, or even tolerate very well for that matter, the moment before I begin to write.
Do you know the moment I’m talking about?
Everything is there, spread out before me on my desktop like a deli spread on game day. I know it’s all there – I can see the bread, the meat, the mustard – but I have yet to dig in and see what I really have to work with. Is it rye or sourdough, turkey or corned beef, dijon or honey? And how will they all fit together?
I know what I have to do. I have to just grab my plate, tie the napkin around my neck and start. But I’m paralyzed – about one step away from the table.
I’m afraid. Insanity in the form of ridiculous thoughts runs amok in my brain: did I ask the right questions? do I have enough information? can I write? what if they don’t like it? Oy vey. Somebody smack me.
It never fails though, something rattles my brain (and proverbial balls) and I jump in there, get my hands dirty and start writing.
And, then, of course…
I wonder what in the world was wrong with me – this is easy, it’s cake! I breathe writing like it’s air (or however that saying goes). I can do this! This, after all, is what I DO!
So, that’s it: the moment before I jump in, that’s my hardest part. In the words of Little June in Gypsy: “What’s yours?”
Image by Brian Auer