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do you speak palinese?

By September 15, 2008Politics

I just received this…and couldn’t wait to repost it. No idea who wrote, so I can’t give credit…

If you’re a minority and you’re selected for a job over more qualified candidates you’re a ‘token hire.’
If you’re a conservative and you’re selected for a  job over more qualified  candidates you’re a ‘game changer.’

Black teen pregnancies? A ‘crisis’ in black America.
White teen pregnancies? A ‘blessed event.’

If you grow up in Hawaii you’re ‘exotic.’
Grow up in Alaska eating mooseburgers, you’re the quintessential ‘American story.’

Similarly, if you name you kid Barack you’re unpatriotic.’
Name your kid ‘Track’, you’re ‘colorful.’

If you’re a Democrat and you make a VP pick without fully vetting the individual you’re ‘reckless.’
A Republican who doesn’t fully vet his VP pick is a ‘maverick.’

*If you spend 3 years as a community organizer growing your organization from  a staff of 1 to 13 and your budget from $70,000 to $400,000, then become the  first black President of the Harvard Law Review, create a  voter registration drive that registers 150,000 new African American voters,  spend 12 years as a  Constitutional Law professor, then spend nearly 8 more years as a State Senator representing a district with over 750,000 people,   becoming chairman  of the state Senate’s Health and Human Services committee, then spend nearly  4 years in the United States Senate representing a state of  nearly 13 million people, sponsoring 131 bills and serving on the Foreign Affairs, Environment and Public Works and Veteran’s Affairs committees, you are  woefully inexperienced.
*However, if you spend 4 years on the city council and 6 years as the  mayor of a town with less than 9,000 people, then spend 20 months as the governor of a state with 650,000 people, then you’ve got the most executive experience of anyone on either ticket, are the Commander in Chief of the Alaska military and are  well qualified to lead the nation should you be called upon to do so because your state is the closest state to Russia.

If you are a Democratic male candidate who is popular with millions of people you are an ‘arrogant celebrity’.
If you are a popular Republican female candidate you are ‘energizing the base’.

If you are a younger male candidate who thinks for himself and makes his own decisions you are ‘presumptuous’.
If you are an older male candidate who makes last minute decisions you refuse to explain, you are a ‘shoot from the hip’ maverick.

If you are a candidate with a Harvard law degree you are ‘an elitist-out of touch’ with the real America.
If you are a legacy (dad and granddad were admirals) graduate of Annapolis, with multiple disciplinary infractions you are a hero.

If you manage a multi-million dollar nationwide campaign, you are an ’empty suit’.
If you are a part time mayor of a town of 9,000 people, you are an ‘experienced executive’.

If you go to a south side Chicago church, your beliefs are ‘extremist’.
If you believe in creationism and don’t believe global warming is man made, you are ‘strongly principled’.

If you have been married to the same woman with whom you’ve been wed to for 19 years and raising 2 beautiful daughters with, you’re ‘risky’.
If you cheated on your first wife with a rich heiress, and  left your disfigured wife and married the heiress the month after you are divorced, you’re a good Christian

If you’re a 13-year-old Chelsea Clinton, the right-wing  press calls you ‘First dog.’
If you’re a 17-year old pregnant unwed daughter of a Republican, the right-wing press calls you  ‘beautiful’ and ‘courageous.’

Join the discussion 8 Comments

  • --Deb says:

    Don’t knock McCain for his war service, though. That’s poor form. He DID serve and suffer for his country, and deserves respect for that–no matter why or how he got into Annapolis in the first place. But otherwise? Um, yeah!

  • Julie Roads says:

    Right, Deb…I agree on that…but I think the point is that he isn’t squeaky clean here, that there’s more than is being portrayed.

  • --Deb says:

    Oh, I agree on all the other points, no question. And, having liked McCain well enough in the past, I’m saddened by how vitrolic his campaign has become … but you can’t deny that he has worked his whole life for his country and that he WAS a war hero. Granted, that was a number of years ago (grin), but still!

    Now, if only he could get that sense of fair play back….

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