Blogging Pheromones

Some of you love this blog. Some of you like it. Some of you tolerate it. Some of you unsubscribe. This is how life goes in the blogosphere.

And I’m so curious to know why. Why do some of you ooh and ahh and hyperventilate with joy while reading and send me emails professing your love, while some of you just shrug your shoulders and move on? Why do I wait anxiously for some feeds to appear in my email and hit delete when I get others?

You all know that I have very serious thoughts and feelings and opinions about smell. The power of the nose? It’s astounding, not least because of its use of pheromones.

pheromone |?fer??m?n|
noun Zoology
A chemical substance produced and released into the environment by an animal, esp. a mammal or an insect, affecting the behavior or physiology of others of its species.

There are some people in this world that smell so good to us that we can’t keep our hands off them – literally. It’s carnal and biological. Their very scent lights something up inside of us. It makes us do crazy things – more hypnotic and tantalizing than a full moon. Much, I’d say.

And there are some people in this world that smell so bad to us that we can’t get far enough away from them. It’s also carnal and biological. Their very scent brings something up inside of us. And it’s usually revulsion. It makes us do crazy things – like run away, it can even make us cruel in our distaste.

So…

Can you smell me? I didn’t think so. Because I can’t smell you. Which leads me to believe that there’s some sort of blogging pheromone wafting about.

What makes us connect, fuse and fall in blogging love? And what make us delete, leave nasty comments and close the window? It must be the words, the sentiment, the emotion, the energy, the shared life experience, the joy (or disdain) of shared humanity.

Image credit: Brouhaha (I could NOT resist this picture)

Filed under Blogging, Writing | Tags: blog community, bloggers, Blogging, community, writers, Writing | Comments (10)

I’m with SportsCenter

I have a thing for SportsCenter. There’s something about ESPN that just really does it for me. And I know what it is (besides the overflow of testosterone). This news media outlet is not scary. Every other news station out there tries to reach out, grab your eyeballs and attach them to their screen with teasers like, “How we know you’re going to die a violent death and HOW YOU JUST MIGHT, MAYBE, POSSIBLY BE ABLE TO STOP IT!!! Next on the News at 10.”

But not the guys at SportsCenter.

They love the game, the love the athletes, they have fun. And when there is drama – cough, cough ‘Tiger’ – they somehow still manage to stick to the facts and not so much the soap opera, focusing on what it will mean to the game of golf. I know, it’s mind-blowing.

This morning I was at the gym, and while I really abhor TV, the screens are inescapable. So I make sure that I’m stationed in front of SportsCenter – just in case my Eye of the Tiger concentration should get distracted. Which it did. And I found myself watching highlights from the Olympics  – where yesterday, Lindsey Vonn and two other U.S. dudes won gold medals. And then I was watching crazy basketball highlights where huge men were leaping gracefully into the sky at just the right moment, catching the ball and slamming it into the basket.

Makes me tingle

I got shivers. Everything I saw was so beautiful, so extraordinary. It made me work out harder, feeling my own strength and power. It also made me think about Elizabeth Gilbert’s TED talk. You know her, right? She wrote Eat, Pray, Love – a masterful memoir that is so authentically real it’s almost blog like. Almost.

In her talk, which I highly recommend that any human (but especially us creative types) watch (and I’ve posted below), she talks about creative genius. She talks about the fact that now that she’s ostensibly hit her ultimate peak with her last book, it is expected that she can only go downhill with her highly anticipated follow-up.

Ah…fear-based wisdom

Apparently, this is a typical phenomenon for anyone who has reached such heights. As she notes, she topped out at 40, so she has 40 more years (give or take) of never being quite that good again – according to this fear-based wisdom, that is.

Lindsey Vonn is 26. When she gets home in a few weeks, will she sink into a deep, dark depression and think that she’ll never be that good again? Will others assume that as well? Is this, then, as good as it gets?

I’m going to say NO. And I’m going to say it in a very loud and strong voice. Because ewwww. Who wants to live like that? I can tell you that I do not.

Waking up

When these professional basketball players woke up yesterday morning, they knew they were good athletes, they knew they were strong and agile. But did they know exactly how the ball would come to them during the game? Did the know exactly how they would jump and twist and grab and dunk? No and no.

Gilbert discusses the unrealistic expectations we place on geniuses to be genius…and it made me think about what’s coming next, what we can’t see – how maybe some thing, some accomplishment, some physical and creative feat is still out there, around the corner, barreling towards us.

Yesterday, I (and Writing Roads) had a really, really good day. When I woke up, all I had was me – my knowledge of who I am and what I want to do. The rest lay before me sight unseen. I had no reason to think the day would unfold like it did, but as I sat on the edge of my bed, ready to put my feet on the floor and get moving, I thought, Who the hell knows? Maybe today will be the day that things really come together. Maybe today will be my best day yet.

And it was. You know why? Because I’m with SportsCenter. I’m not in it for the fear. I’m in it for the love of the game and its players and my team. And because I really do think there’s always somewhere farther, longer, stronger, better and higher to go.

Image credit: jjaani

Filed under How To, Myth or Reality, Writing | Tags: athletes, creating, creative, elizabeth Gilbert, espn, genius, olympics, sports center, TED, writers, Writing | Comments (12)

Changing the Climate

Today is Blog Action Day when about a gazillion bloggers take to their blogs to bring awareness to a certain topic that needs attention. This year, that topic is climate change. I could write a long list of things you could do to help the environment and our beautiful planet – but this blog’s about writing, so I’m going to write about climate change and writing, capiche? Okay, here we go…

Imagine me in a bad mood. Like the one I was in yesterday afternoon, for instance. I was so irritated, in fact, that I was thinking about getting a punching bag for my office – just so I’d have something to kick on such occasions.

I had things to write that I just didn’t feel like writing, and no matter how stern a talking to I gave myself, I just couldn’t get on it. So, I started reading blogs, articles, twitter, whatever my eyes connected to.

And then, I didn’t want to kick anything anymore. And then, I was getting my work done. And then, I realized that I was in a great mood.

Writers are climate changers…in a good way. We have the power to change people – by providing insight, information, new perspectives, joy, views into unknown feelings, thoughts, places – with our words. The ways we influence and transform are endless, but tangible.

Because happy, enlightened and/or educated people tend to make better choices. Because they treat those around them well – spouses, friends, children, dogs, trees, bees. You get my point.

So, on this Blog Action Day, I’m wondering how your writing affects the climate? Yours, your reader’s, your world’s.

Image Credit: Rob

Filed under Blogging, Critical Copywriting, How To, News, Politics, Writing | Tags: Blog Action Day, bloggers, Blogging, climate change, influential writers, writers, Writing | Comments (2)

When it smells

For those of you who don’t know, I live in a house with Clivus composting toilets. They are brilliant, easy (except for when I have to do a monthly ‘rake’ of the compost, ew) and really, really good for the environment.

Cleaning out the crapper

Twice a year, the Clivus guys show up and ‘empty’ the compost. These brave, young lads shovel the ‘dirt’ into wheelbarrows and take it deep into our woods to become one, again, with the earth. To put it mildly, this process makes our house smell to high hell because they have to keep the compost container that lives in our basement open for an extended period of time while they shovel.

Today was one of those days. And my house smelled like rotten eggs and, are you really going to make me say it?, crap. It was bad, and drastic steps were made to clear out the smell when they left – fans, open windows, crucifixes.

A Dirty Writer

Last night, I was at a networking event where I met another writer. Though, unlike me, she is called by Fiction. She’s written seven books that, apparently, are quite racy. As she described them to me, I said, “Oh, kind of like Twilight, but dirty?” To which she responded, “Yes, but no vampires.” Fine, whatever, sign me up.

As we discussed our writing styles and processes, she told me that she’s part of a local writer’s group. I got all excited because it’s something that I’ve kind of always wanted to do…but, she kind of hemmed and hawed in her enthusiasm. Turns out the head of the group has a hard time with her ‘material’. He blushes and he giggles (do you actually need me to psychoanalyze that part?), but – worse – he tells her things like he doesn’t think the sexual explicitness is pertinent to her story.

After making several amusing comments at his expense, I looked her right in the eye and said, “You need to find another group.” At first, she kind of looked at me funny. So I told her that she didn’t need to or deserve to be part of any writer’s group where people couldn’t handle or see, objectively, the merit of her work. Her response? “Oh my god, you’re right!”

I don’t think anyone should encircle yourself with Yessers, by any means, but letting this man be part of her regular feedback, filling her writer’s bastion of self-criticism on a consistent basis? W.R.O.N.G. and Not. Okay.

My conclusions

Recently, I’ve been surrounding myself with joyful, positive, smart people. They are not Yessers. They challenge me, ask me stupefying questions, push me to shine. Let me tell you: it’s good.

As writers, hey – even as people, we are taught to self-judge and self-doubt. Why should we stand to be around people that feed into that? I think it stinks.

So take a look around and see if anyone is polluting your air, and then:

1. On a regular basis, clean out all the crap.

2. Open the windows, turn on the fans, grab those crucifixes….and make sure that you get rid of every trace of the smell.

Image credit: Archie McPhee

Filed under How To, Writing | Tags: positivity, writers, Writing, writing fiction, writing groups | Comments (7)

Yeah, I think I’ll just skip over the crap

So the cast is off, and though I’m a little sore, I can walk pretty well. I can rollerblade (thank you, God), but I still can’t walk/hike for exercise – and I miss my morning walk with my dogs so very much. Consequently, I’m still riding the bike, more specifically, it’s an Airdyne – so the arms move and a fan blows on you. (Apparently for resistance, but I think it’s to help you feel like you’re actually riding a real bike, you know, wind in the face and all that.)

Anyway, it’s really fucking boring. I just have to put that out there. My brain fixates on the seconds as they tick by. I torture myself with games where I don’t look at the devil bike timer for random amounts of time which I’m convinced are substantial, only to finally look down and see that only 40 seconds have passed.

My salvation is my iPod. As life carries on, it’s impossible to listen to all of your music on a daily or even weekly basis. (Particularly when your three year-olds only want to listen to the Mary Poppins soundtrack.) So, as I ride that stationary bike, I listen to old albums that I haven’t heard in forever. And the time flies.

This morning, though, I decided to live dangerously. I hit ‘shuffle’ and let the fates decide.

Remember the Mary Poppins line above? Yeah, well all of our kids’ music is in our iPod, along with classical music, jazz…every CD we’ve every had. When the first bad song came on, I thought, ‘I’ll just live through this, it’ll teach me patience.’ Um, yeah right. I worked up a cheesey story in my head about how this was a metaphor for life, that just like the songs, some moments are boring, some bring you down, some are joy-filled, some are fast and wild, some are painful. Then, I got all Zen on myself, determined to let the songs fall as they may – to muscle through the drone of a lullaby while I pumped the pedals furiously…craving a little Madonna.

And then I thought, what kind of life is that? I didn’t raise myself to sit around and take whatever crap I was dealt! I’m not a just deal with it kind of girl!

As Holiday filled my ears, I took a chance and looked down at the timer. Shuffle + Zen + Madonna equals, yes, only 40 seconds.

Image credit: sebleedelisle

Filed under Writing | Tags: exercising, IPod, madonna, Mary Poppins, music, writers, Writing, Zen | Comment (1)

The LOVE ebook: love creations and real support for those hit by the recession

Image by Swamibu

The LOVE ebook: love creations and real support for those hit by the recession

WHAT IS THE LOVE EBOOK?

In an effort to focus on the good stuff – and help out in tough times – The LOVE ebook for charity is filled with LOVE poems, photos and artwork and it’s hitting the ‘net just in time for Valentine’s day.  The beautiful composition, designed by Kyle Lacy and his crew at Brandswag, will be posted here for download from February 11th through the 14th – (would make an awesome Valentine’s gift, eh?)

Is it Free?

The LOVE ebook will be available for free, but we are also offering you the option to make a donation for your download – could be for $1 or $1000 – that’s entirely up to you.

Where will the money go?

All of the money raised will be donated to Career Gear (for men and their families) – a national non-profit organization that helps people find, get and keep jobs through career skills training, interview training, proper attire, etc… Times are tough, and I wanted to pick an organization that worked hard and compassionately to help our country’s workforce. (and Career Gear has been so wonderful to work with!!!)

How will you spread the word?

Anyone that knows me, knows that I’m obsessed with Twitter. We will certainly Twitterize the heck out of this thing. We’re also looking to all of you – whether you participate as an artist, writer, donor or reader to spread the word. I’ll use Pitch Engine for PR. We would love it if you would post something on your blog just link back to us here. Please tell all your peeps across every network you’ve got.

The Launch

The LOVE ebook will be available for download here, on the Writing Roads blog from February 11th through the 14th. We’ll do all we can to spread the word and raise some money for good and we hope you will too!

THANK YOU ALL FOR BEING HERE AND HELPING IN EVERY WAY YOU CAN!

We just know this is going to be a blast.

Filed under How To, Networking, News | Tags: art, artists, career gear, charity, donations, dress for success, ebook, job finding, love, photography, poems, poetry, recession, recession help, writers | Comments (16)

when writing is used for bad things

Please tell me this is joke and that this book doesn’t really exist in the world.

This children’s book was written by a plastic surgeon, Michael Salzhauer, and here is its mission: to help kids deal with their mommy’s transformation due to plastic surgery.

Yes, I’m sure it is a shock when mommy comes home covered in bandages, when her breasts point to the sky and don’t move when you try to hug her, when she can’t show any emotion because of the botox pumped into her face, when she no longer looks like your mother.

Thank goodness mommy doesn’t need to find the words to explain it all away, now she can just shove this book at her kid.

Here’s an idea. Let’s tell women that aging is an incredible journey. That beauty is so much more than droopy boobs and wrinkles. That their worth increases with their life experience and everything they accomplish each day.

Let’s tell children that there is more to life than the way they look. That doing good and productive things in the world is what’s important. That there are people in this world who need food, clothes and shelter – and giving to them would be a worthy repository for their extra money.

Writers (and all people)! Use your words for good.

Thanks to Brett Blumenthal of www.sheerbalance.com for the heads up.

Filed under Critical Copywriting, News | Tags: authors, children's books, children's literature, copywriting, plastic surgery, self-esteem, women, writers | Comment (0)