Twitter isn’t so crazy

This morning I was out rollerblading and I crossed paths with these two lovely ladies that I see out there from time to time. They’re probably about 65 and they’re on their bikes.

We were traveling in different directions and passed each other three times. At each pass, we had these mini-flyby conversations, like this one:

As we approached…

Lady 1: I love your little car!

Lady 2: What is it?

As we passed each other:

Me: Subaru.

Lady 2: The Impreza?

Me: Yep.

Over our shoulders:

Lady 1: Do you love it?

Me: Totally. Awesome car. And affordable.

Both Ladies: Thanks!

The world, as I see it, is currently divided into two camps: those that love Twitter and those that hate it. Which is why I love when I see ‘Twitter’ enacted in real life. ‘Cause them I can say, ‘You know what? Twitter isn’t so crazy…it happens all the time.”

Image credit gianmerizzi

Dealing with hate online

What is going on? Over the course of the last couple of weeks, I’ve watched the Hate Meter rise. One of those times, it was disturbingly turned on me in reaction to a post I wrote, but the horror of it really supersedes the target. Hate is just nasty. There’s no way around it. And social media seems to breed its own brand, or maybe it’s the same old, same old – just wearing a new dress. A new dress getting soaked in a shit storm.

Why people hate

I’ve got to say it seems to boil down to these three things:

• Insecurity
• Fear
• Need for attention

Social media, for worse in this scenario, offers people a filter. They can and do behave in ways that they would probably never behave in real life. No one can see them, they don’t have to look into a person’s eyes and see their heart and soul. They can hide behind their computer screen armed with 26 letters and some exclamation marks.

How they hate

Social Media is so vast that it gives the haters quite the array of options:

• Social networking, such as Twitter. They can bring someone down swiftly by tweeting something nasty to their followers, pushing the retweet or carrying on in public (@reply) conversations.
• Video. This makes them seem bold, when really they’re hurling their hate at a camera, not an actual person.
• Blogs. Let me count the ways. They can write their own nasty post or leave horrid comments on someone else’s.
• Email. Start a hate campaign, make it juicy, add pictures and it will go viral.
• Forums. How fun to start a hate thread!

The Umbrella: What to do about it

In the face of social media hate, you have some choices to make:

1. Fight back. Now this seems like a good idea at first, doesn’t it. ‘How dare s/he say that about me!’ Believe me, I understand that you’re raring to go. But, just like my older brothers who teased me relentlessly, this is what the hater wants. They’re baiting you. So…
2. Silence is really an incredible option. Bite your tongue, dog’s chew toy, a towel. Walk away from your computer. Channel George Clooney and do not engage. (if you got that joke, you get a gold star)
3. Block ‘em. You have the right to block people from your blog and your networks. You do not need to be harassed on your own ‘domain’ – so to speak. I’m not suggesting that you block or censor naysayers. Differing opinions are great and add a lot to the conversation. But hate and violence are not to be tolerated.
4. Find an outlet. Friends, trusted colleagues, your mom. Rant to them. Let them love you and tell you it’s okay. Have them remind you of how wonderful you are and how batshit insane the hater is. If you can, invite them all to an email party – let the stream of love and fun ensue. The hater is left to hate alone in silence while you’re all having a lovefest.
5. Depend on your peeps. Watch with glee as your readers go to the mattresses for you – defending, talking back, throwing themselves in front of you like the iron clad shields that they are.
6. Rise above. Go do something that puts you back on track. Write a killer post. Retweet good people. Make a donation. Hang with your family. Don’t forget that you are better than this hater and their hateful stink. Hate can be like quicksand, don’t get pulled down into it. Don’t believe it, don’t invite it in.
7. Be careful. If this hater is really scaring you or making serious threats, do not hesitate to take it directly to the police. Don’t forget to document and save all correspondence. Not only emails, but screen shots of tweets, forum posts, etc.

Don’t forget that the ‘world’ is watching. Oftentimes the hater is just making a fool out of their own sorry self. If you keep your wits about you and do the right thing, your social media value and reputation will only go up – and so will your self-preservation. Now, go on with your bad self…and make love, not war.

Image credit: Kayepants

Blogstipation (and how to avoid it)

Cheers to Cassie Aiden for introducing me to this fabutastic word…

Blogstipation. Is it the inability to write blog posts? The back-up of so many good blog ideas? Or is it a blog that’s just not moving – no increase in visitors, pageviews, business?

Of course the term itself fits all three of these possibilities….it’s that good.

The inability to write blog posts

You’ve run out of ideas, you’re having a bad day, you’re simply out of juice.

1. Search the net, check other blogs. Chances are someone’s writing about something that either you could write better or their take on it is a 180 degree spin from yours…make it your own.

2. Walk away from your computer. Literally – take a walk, a bike ride, something to get out of your head and get creativity flowing through every limb again.

3. Don’t panic. Ask some folks to guest post, do some interviews – take the heat off of yourself and your muse.

4. Whatever you do, don’t just write something for the sake of filling your blog. People are less likely to leave you because of your silence than because of your pointless or crappy posts.

The Back-up

So many things brewing that you simply can’t get anything done or published.

1. Don’t let ideas back up in your brain, it’s very crowded already. Carry a notebook or a digital voice recorder or a smart phone to get the ideas out of the brain and into the world as they happen. You know, let it flow.

2. Make a list, schedule, calendar…and use it.

3. Hire a VA or other specialists (like writers, designers, techies, cleaners, bookkeepers, etc.) to help you get things done.

4. Prioritize. There’s bound to be something in that there should be done first. Do it…and get the ball rolling again.

The stagnation

Same number of visitors day after day? No new business?

1. Guest post somewhere else – preferably on a blog with readers who have never heard of you and need your services.

2. Use Twitter. Follow new people, build relationships, give good tweet by sharing interesting links and info on a wide range of subjects. (I ’spose a little LinkedIn and Facebook wouldn’t hurt either)

3. Write an ebook and make it free and valuable.

4. Do some keyword research about your topic and find out what people are looking for…then give it to them.

If absolutely none of this works:

1. Shut down your blog. Maybe it’s just not your thing?

2. Add more fiber to your diet: get out there and experience life, learn more about your industry, go to conferences. LIVE away from your computer.

3. Take some blogging Pepto: Shot of Red Bull? Glass of Merlot? Shot of Tequila? Mug of green tea? Flask of hot chocolate?

4. Call me…a good friend, your coach or mentor. Sometimes we just have to talk these things through…

Image credit: Alexander Ekman

How pretty do you have to be?

This morning, I uploaded a video from Scott Stratten (@unmarketing) to Soc Media 101. As I watched, I couldn’t help but notice how adorable he is (as in handsome, kind and charming). And my brain started to churn.

Not five minutes later, I saw this:

The people who do well in Hollywood tend to be the people who did well in high school. Because it really is about who’s in, who’s out, who’s cool. Then you get the nerds like me who know how to write or make movies, and they have to sort of make room for us. But we’re not calling the shots socially, you know? - John Favreau, actor, director, writer and more

There’s no doubt that the social media – high school analogy works. I mean, come on.

But, it isn’t clear cut:

• Pretty people are very successful in this space, but so are unpretty people. (I’ll let you make your own mental list – I’m not walking down that road).
• Kind, generous, wonderful people thrive in social media, but so do assholes. (I’ll let you make that list too.)
• ‘Popular kids’ flourish as well, but the internet really lets the geeks soar.

As usual there are no answers, no universal truths to be found. I’d like to think that the good guys finish first…but, sadly, the bad guys  have black hat SEO on their side. Like automatic Twitter follow machines. Isn’t that the equivalent of having friends because you’re the only one with the fake ID?

Overheard on Twitter today:

Nor does having a lot of followers as a result make you, deservedly, the most popular kid in class.

Of course there’s a bit of the high school ‘cool’ thing at play here…but there’s more and it’s not nearly so superficial. I’m talking:

1. Giving.
2. Sharing.
3. Kindness.
4. Respect
5. Smarts
6. Talent

Kudos for you if you’re a cutie…

Image courtesy of The Pack

How to be effective

About a year ago, I was fortunate enough to see Karol Rose of Flexpaths speak. This burgeoning company, and Karol along with it, is changing the way we think about work, workstyle flexibility and life in general….and I’m thrilled to be writing for them. After I saw Karol speak, I wrote about her theory of work/life balance – which basically states that the quest for ‘balance’ is a myth and a recipe for heartache and stress.

Karol maintains that we should reach for work/life effectiveness instead, and this weekend I was the poster child for her theory.

Take a two year-old boy + a three year-old girl + a Blackberry/Mac/Writing/Blogging/Twitter obsessed mom and subtract my wife (you know, the reigning Mother of the Year champ) and put them together for 53 hours with no outside help whatsoever.

The perfect storm?

It could have been, but I took Karol’s advice to heart. I needed to be effective at home this weekend. So, I turned off my computer, ignored my Blackberry’s charming gong that tells me I have yet another email and sunk deeply and contentedly into my role as Mom…And I had the time of my life.

Sure, some writing ideas popped into my head and I scribbled them down. Once or twice I checked Twitter to see what was happening. But my mindset was all about home. I can assure you that if I had had the goal of getting a few work things done this weekend, we all might have imploded.

In this case, ‘balance’ was found by tipping the scales profoundly and completely in the direction of home.

Apply this lesson where you will. If you’d like to be effective anywhere, anyhow, anytime – Just. Do. IT.

Image courtesy of Zen

The Separation of Church and Twitter

This is post is not intended to bash anyone or any religion.

When I click on someone’s Twitter profile and it tells me they are a Christian or follower of Jesus, I take pause. I wonder how long it’ll take for them to hate me, unfollow me, pray for me. Because, believe me, I’m not their cup of tea.

But, I also cringe at the too much information factor. Maybe this is because, for me, Twitter is simply an incredible business marketing tool (that happens to have a delightfully fun social component.) And, let’s be fair, sometimes I tweet things about my personal life that others might not care to know, I don’t deny that.

But, why is it only the Jesus followers and the Christians that find stating these religious preferences so compelling? I’ve never seen someone write ‘Jewish’ or ‘Moses follower’ in their profile. I haven’t seen Muslims or Catholics stake their claim. Nor the agnostics. Though I haven’t viewed all 6 million+ profiles, so I might just be missing those.

Statistically speaking, however, I have viewed roughly 6-7,000 profiles and based on today’s tallies alone, about 10% of those contain Christian information. Haven’t seen any other religion.

Again, this post is not meant to Christian-bash. I simply do not find it necessary to discuss my religion on Twitter. It doesn’t define me. (And I’m guessing some people might see that as a flaw.) And I wonder why other people do think it’s so important. Is it the same as me putting down ‘writer’ and forming a community of fellow writers? I can see how it is.

In the end, social media invites us each to showcase who we are – and I love that. So why does this freak me out (a little)? Is it because of people like Michele Bachmann? Carrie Prejean? The entire Christian Conservative movement?

Yes, yes it is. It’s a travesty because I’m sure many of these people on Twitter are just lovely, but the hate in our country has made me, well, a little follow shy.

What do you think? What makes people decide to list or not to list their religion in their Twitter bio?

Images courtesy of Josh Semans and fab4chiky

Blur the Lines

If you go to search Google today, you’ll find this in the top right hand corner of your screen:

Once upon a time, the list included ‘Blogs’ as a category. You can still search blogs exclusively if you click the ‘more’ carrot – but the significance here is that blogs have been absorbed into the greater category of ‘Web’. This didn’t happen yesterday, mind you – it’s not breaking news, but it’s a prime example of lines being blurred and the inclusion of social media in mainstream ‘information accrual.’

The other day, I was talking to the glorious Nevette Previd, and I was explaining social bookmarking. As I defined it in a narrow box kind of a way, Digg, Stumble, etc., she (who admittedly is not uber-familiar with social media) asked me, “wouldn’t links within blogs be social bookmarks as well?”

But, of course. And brilliant. It’s all so clear to those of us not bogged down by it, right?

For a while now, I’ve been referring to Twitter as a social bookmarking tool – but she is exactly right. All of the social networking sites and blogs are also social bookmarking tools – because links are being favorited, shared and saved.

And social networking extends beyond Facebook, Linkedin, etc. because we’re also networking, connecting and becoming fans on Digg, Stumble and Kirtsy and on blogs via subcriptions, blogrolls and comments.

And blogging? Well, we’re microblogging on social media sites with our updates and we’re leaving comments and reviews on social bookmarking sites…so that works too.

But don’t just stop there. Social media, new media, traditional media – they’re all blending. Or rather television and print journalism are integrating with new media at a neck-breaking rate.

The definitions are growing fuzzy and that’s good, I think – everything is being integrated. The best parts are being used, the bad stuff will be left behind. Maybe we’ll all be on the same page some day…or perhaps just on the same url.

Image by billselak

Free eBook – Finding Your Voice in a Crowded World: Personal Branding, Social Media and You

So excited about my new ebook that I wrote with Ron Miller for our Soc Media 101 site (tips & how-to’s for beginners). Actually, the idea for the book came first and the blog formed around it…

Finding Your Voice in a Crowded World: Personal Branding, Social Media and You takes a look at how you can make yourself stand out when everyone’s hopping on the social media train. And you get two perspectives: my marketing/creative writing perspective and Ron’s technology/journalism perspective.

Read it, Enjoy it, Pass it on…(and thanks for being such wonderful blog readers and commenters!)

Click the book, get your free download!

Open in a New Window

Just in case you weren’t sure quite how nerdy I really am…

The debate du jour surrounds blog writing etiquette and linking. We all know it’s best practice to link out from your posts – but is there a correct way to format these links? There are two ways to go:

1. Open link in the same window.

2. Open link in a new window.

When you open the link in the same window, it obliterates the page from which you received the link in the first place. This disturbs me as a reader because I lose track of where I was and can’t make my way back (especially if I was on a new site that I found and was focused on the content, not the name and url). To me, it’s the equivalent of falling down the rabbit hole. Who knows when I’ll find my way back.

As a blogger, it concerns me that my readers will experience what I just described. That they’ll click on a link and be lost forever. Via a lively debate on Twitter, Ron Miller said:

ron_miller @writingroads I know, but I still don’t think you have to have the link open in a new window. Your readers will come back.

Maybe…but what about the person that followed a link that looked like this: “is.gd/e9k5″??? They might not know where they are. And this isn’t some sort of writer’s insecurity for me. I can be reading the most fabulous post I’ve ever read, click a link and get lost or busy or distracted.

Some people feel very strongly that the link should be opened in the same window, here are a few:

adamconnor @writingroads opening links in new windows is typically a usability no-no. Have seen it confuse users in a few studies.

CharJTF @writingroads Accessibility-wise, opening in new window isn’t easier. Personally, I hate links that spawn new windows…I can do it myself.

The issue for them with opening links in a new window is that users suddenly have multiple tabs open. I love multiple tabs. I build them up as my day goes on. Firefox allows me to have over 20 tabs open, and I move with the dexterity of a jedi from window to window throughout the day. My ADD mind loves the options, the accessibility, the madness of it all.

But, I also love that when I click on a link, I can read it, close it and then find myself back on the original site without having to store any info in my crammed brain. Suddenly this site is before my eyes, and I say, “Nice site! Hey, I’ve been here before! Oh, this is where I was before I clicked to read that other article….” Understanding sets in and a warm, almost fizzy, feeling of recognition floods my body. No, I’m not ’simple’ – just busy.

Is there a right way? Is there a wrong way? Not entirely sure, but there do seem to be a lot of opinions. As for me, I’m thinking: If I love Japanese food, but abhor Italian, why would I feed you lasagna? You’ll notice that I almost always open links in a new window.

Image courtesy of Qtea

Twitter Baiting

No, I didn’t say, ‘twitterbating’ – that’s another topic entirely.

Twitter baiting is the Twitter equivalent of link baiting – wherein people lure bloggers, visitors or companies to their site through a variety of tactics. According to Rob Sullivan on Search Engine Journal, link baiting sounds like black hat (or dirty and sleazy) SEO, but it’s actually just the process of getting other sites to link to yours.

Link Baiting is just like fishing. You publish a new page on a topic…and set it free on the web. Hopefully others pick up on the content as fresh and interesting and link to it. The article is the bait, and the link is the catch.

You just witnessed link baiting, as a matter of fact. Rob wrote a good article, and I quoted it and linked back to him.

It must be noted that some folks do fish for links in a bad way – with false claims, antagonistic or controversial content.

The Twitter Translation

So how does this convert to Twitter? Well, people are using their tweets to lure people to their sites, of course. Not for links only, but also for traffic, body counts, retweets, buzz. Twitter baiting happens in the following ways:

1. Controversial or attention-getting tweets
2. Contest, challenge or giveaway tweets
3. Asking for retweets
4. Misleading tweets that tease X and deliver Y
5. Plain, old-fashioned, good quality content

Sometimes it’s good: when the tweeted link leads to a quality site offering high value and solid information.

Sometimes it’s bad: sending you to product pushing sites, scams or long sales letters (or just junk).

Wait. And Eureka! Either way, Twitter baiting really isn’t that far from Twitterbating after all! I mean, it is all about self-pleasure…right?

Is Twitter Baiting good or bad? Is it all in how you do it? Is it simply the nature of the beast?

Image courtesy of Aaron_M