If you just change the word…

I was leaving my friend Karol’s house the other day and she was showing me all of the work her husband’s done on their house and the projects that he’s currently working on.

As we walked out of the gallery he’s transforming into an office, she noticed the door wasn’t closing right. “I’ll have to put it on his to-finish list,” she told me.

“His what?”

“We realized that the things on his ‘to-do’ list never got done. But the ‘to-finish’ list? Things on that list always get done.”

Huh. Apparently, if you just pick the right word, magic happens. But you and I knew that already, didn’t we.

Image credit: I like

Holy bonus, Batman.

Something strange has happened. I’m about to call the EPA and have them check my water. I can’t think of any other explanation.

Here’s the thing: I’m ahead.

I’m not just caught up with my work, I have things done before they’re due – as in, in advance of their deadline. It’s not that I’m a slacker usually, it’s just that I love the thrill of the deadline, so I usually push each one to the limit. But this week, I’ve been like a machine. Can I tell you how many times I checked my calendar this week to verify that it was actually only Monday, then only Tuesday, then only Wednesday? A lot.

The Blank Page Route

I have a good friend that is going through a major life change. She’s at a crossroads with her relationship, business and geographic location. When we talked about what was going on with her, there was an invitation to discuss the horridness of the situation, to moan and groan and bellyache about it. But we didn’t. Instead we took the blank page route. Instead of desolation, there was nothing but open road and opportunity:

• If she could live anywhere, where would it be?
• If she could be with or without a relationship, which would she prefer?
• If she could be with anyone, what would s/he be like?
• If she could change anything about her business, what would it be?

What a glorious time we had creating and sucking.

The Bonus List

Today, Silas decided to leave our house and take some free time for himself. He was gone for four hours. I have no idea how he amused himself except that he rolled in something dead. The evidence is all over him. That doesn’t sound like fun to me, go figure, but it was his bliss.

When I realized how far ahead I was in my work today, there was an urge to pile more work on or, in a moment of pure insanity, search for the things that I’d forgotten to do and thus, send a wave of disappointment and reality upon myself as I realized that I wasn’t even close to being ahead.

But, I didn’t do that. Do you know what I did?

I made a list, I followed my blissful urges – the ones that felt good to just me. I played my own version of the Blank Page. Though I wasn’t at a crossroads, I was standing in front of an opportunity. What do I want to do with this unexpected open time? I asked myself.

• Write (whatever I want to write)
• Work on my new site The Daily Norm (which is soon to feature a fat interview with John Grogan (of Marley and Me fame any second now, so you might want to sign up for email alerts)
• Take an afternoon off and hang with my family
• Stand outside with my arms open waiting for the following things to drop into my arms: a book deal, a fat ghostwriting book project, a syndication opportunity for this blog, a lifetime supply of either guacamole or George Clooney
• Make a list of my ideal blog writing clients and go after them
• Write some more (of whatever I want to write)

I’m working through this list…with glee. And I’m curious to know what’s on yours.

Image credit: Fonzie’s Cousin

Check out the latest interview on The Daily Norm with The Bloggess, Blogger, Mother, Humorist.

Do you do this, too?

Every day I make a to-do list. Typically, I write it at the end of the day – so I know what ‘tomorrow’ will look like and so I can really (attempt) to let go of work when I go home, you know, because a piece of paper is holding down the fort for me. (Odd sidenote: my to-do list is the ONLY work thing I do on paper. I’m sure it’s because I LOVE crossing things off the list with a good old-fashioned pen.)

So, the last thing I do before I leave my office is make my new to-do list. The second to last thing I do is look at the current day’s list to take stock of all I’ve accomplished. And, I’ve noticed this pattern recently. Somewhere in between the tasks that I’ve crossed off, the notes that I’ve scribbled down throughout the day and my incessant doodling (3-D boxes and stars circa 2nd grade), there is always one to-do that I did not complete.

It isn’t usually a huge or monumental task, though sometimes it is. And sometimes, it’s the same thing that I’ve managed to not complete over and over, day after day. Point is – there’s always something.

Why? I wonder. Wouldn’t it feel fabulous to have everything done? You’ll have to tell me, I wouldn’t know.

I have two thoughts about my ‘issue’. First, I think it’s left over trauma from college where, if you remember, we were simply never done. Right? There was always something that had to be read or written.

Or. It’s simply that I hate goodbyes and endings (unless it’s a headache or a mean person that I’m leaving), so this remaining task must be some kind of anchor. A thread that ties me back to my office, my business, my writing – making it truly impossible for me to let go and disconnect. Like a love note, promising that I will be back.

What’s on your list?

This morning, on my walk with the dogs, I looked up from my thoughts and saw green. No money, wasn’t falling from the sky – though how cool would that have been? – it was foliage. Leaves, trees, bursting huckleberry bushes – all green. See:

Apparently summer is upon us. (And apparently I’ve already had one too many margaritas – the trees are not growing on a slant here – I’m just a terrible, horrible photographer…but you get the point, right?)

Last summer, I never looked up and I never took a break. I virtually (pun intended) ignored the fact that I live on one of the most sought after U.S. summer destinations around.

I’m determined to make this year different. I’m even considering working from 6am-2pm, or maybe 8am-12pm + 6pm-10pm, every Wednesday and heading to the beach in those off hours. Can you imagine?

And there will be reading. Lots of it. I’m taking recommendations below for superb summer reading. And I’m offering my own list for you. You won’t find these in the ‘new releases’ section…these books were written and published years ago – and I still love them dearly. If you missed them…here’s your second chance:

• A Year in Provence, by Peter Mayle. The writing in this book is so clear and warm and easy. The stories are hilarious. The food – OH! the food. It’s the best kind of memoir, it makes you feel like you were there too. After I read this book, I devoured every single thing that Mayle wrote. Get it here.
• The River Midnight, by Lilian Nattel. Old world, yiddish, mysticism, incredible character build-up. This book is magical, I encourage you to get lost in it.
• Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood, by Rebecca Wells. This book is NOT a ‘chick-flick’ – this book is hands down the most powerful Woman book I’ve ever read. If by some god-awful chance you missed it, run to the bookstore.
• The Patron Saint of Liars, by Ann Patchett. Everything Ann Patchett writes is phenomenal, but Patron Saint is my favorite. Unwed mothers (old-school style) with some harbinger twists. So good, sooo good.
• A Walk in the Woods, by Bill Bryson. I hate to repeat myself, but here I go: Everything by Bill Bryson is phenomenal, but this one is my favorite. You will howl with laughter and never, ever want to go hiking again – but in a good way.
• Gone With the Wind, by Margaret Mitchell. You’d be surprised by how many people haven’t read this book. I read it when I was 13 years old on a sailing trip. 45 foot boat with some of my best camp friends, island hopping on Lake Superior. The book was so thick that the binding broke, and as I finished pages they flew off into the lake. So don’t borrow mine, get your own.

Okay, your turn…what should we read this summer?

Chewing for discovery, part 2

It occurred to me this weekend, while I was getting gas for my car – if you must know – that there is a second part to the post I wrote last week about chewing your food (or completing your tasks) before moving on to the next bite.

The book, The Power Eating Program, maintains that if you take on the practice of chewing your food to liquid, you’ll find yourself actually choosing healthier food. Because when you eat food made from chemicals (processed, with ingredients you can’t pronounce, fast food, etc.), after the first few chews – when you actually dive down into the ‘food’ – you start to taste the chemicals or you taste nothing at all. Yet, if you chew a carrot, homemade lasagna, a piece of 70% organic dark chocolate, and chew it well, you’ll see that the flavors expand, transform and multiply right there in your mouth.

In effect, good and real food is the gift that keeps on giving and it just gets better. While bad and fake food is revealed and exposed to be, well, gross.

When we complete many tasks at once, we might lose the vision to see that some tasks are really fruitless, wasters of our precious time or simply not enjoyable because they’re just lumped in with everything else. But when we do one task at a time, we can really explore each task – and have the luxury to discover if it’s rich, complex and effective…or timeless, tasteless fluff.

Hmmm…food. for. thought.

Image courtesy of girlguyed

How to be effective

About a year ago, I was fortunate enough to see Karol Rose of Flexpaths speak. This burgeoning company, and Karol along with it, is changing the way we think about work, workstyle flexibility and life in general….and I’m thrilled to be writing for them. After I saw Karol speak, I wrote about her theory of work/life balance – which basically states that the quest for ‘balance’ is a myth and a recipe for heartache and stress.

Karol maintains that we should reach for work/life effectiveness instead, and this weekend I was the poster child for her theory.

Take a two year-old boy + a three year-old girl + a Blackberry/Mac/Writing/Blogging/Twitter obsessed mom and subtract my wife (you know, the reigning Mother of the Year champ) and put them together for 53 hours with no outside help whatsoever.

The perfect storm?

It could have been, but I took Karol’s advice to heart. I needed to be effective at home this weekend. So, I turned off my computer, ignored my Blackberry’s charming gong that tells me I have yet another email and sunk deeply and contentedly into my role as Mom…And I had the time of my life.

Sure, some writing ideas popped into my head and I scribbled them down. Once or twice I checked Twitter to see what was happening. But my mindset was all about home. I can assure you that if I had had the goal of getting a few work things done this weekend, we all might have imploded.

In this case, ‘balance’ was found by tipping the scales profoundly and completely in the direction of home.

Apply this lesson where you will. If you’d like to be effective anywhere, anyhow, anytime – Just. Do. IT.

Image courtesy of Zen

email & web 2.0 obsession

I’m going to do my damnedest to write this entire post without being wooed away by the buzzes and beeps of my email, Skype, Twitter (and on and on) accounts. If I can do it (oh no, there’s an email now!), you all owe me $5.

Does anyone else have this problem? (oh! another one! This is painful.) I’m trying to write a post, an article, a website – and my email is beeping at me, my phone is buzzing at me, Twitter is tweeting at me, Facebook is dinging at me. The desire to go running to each of these calls is immense. It’s my curiousity…and just a wee bit of ADD. But, all in all, it’s pretty classifiable as an addiction – I jones for the information behind the techno alert, literally. I get high off the fast pace set by my fingers, eyes and brain as I cruise from page to page on my browser and from app to app on my computer.

I’m completely convinced that if I could do what many experts, like Tim Ferriss and Stephen Covey, suggest, I would be much more productive. I’m already pretty gosh darn effective, so just imagine what I could get done in a single hour, let alone a day, if I just stayed put?!

They recommend, in their own ways, that you only check these connective activities 2-3 times PER DAY. And that you schedule these times and stick to the schedule. Whoa….the willpower that would take.

I’m making a pros and cons list:
Pros of only checking email, Twitter, phone, etc. 2-3 times per day

1. Increase in productivity
2. Greater concentration
3. Calmer atmosphere
4. Calmer mind (unless I’ve gone mad wondering what I’m missing)
5. Less distraction

Cons of only checking email, Twitter, phone, etc. 2-3 times per day

1. What if Oprah emails me and says I only have one hour to get back to her, but I’m not due to check my email for another 3 hours?
2. I’m already shaking, and I’ve only been practicing this for 15 minutes
3. Back to #1, what if I miss something really important?
4. I’ll miss the frenetic pace of moving here, here, here and here – in moments.
5. By the time I get to check my email, there will be a billion stacked up.

Hmmmmm….this is very interesting. Although every fiber in my being doesn’t want to go to the 2-3 times per day schedule, my only real reasons for staying with my current practices are my addiction and this completely 8th grade fear that I’m going to miss out on something.

If you read the two lists, you can see that the pros list reads slower, more peacefully, it’s almost elegant. The cons list reads like Chicken Little on crack and with an exaggeration problem. I didn’t do that on purpose – I just reread what I wrote and it became painfully clear.

Maybe I’ll try it for a week…but I’ll have to warn all of my clients because they’re used to immediate feedback. Can the world really wait 3 hours for me? This is insanity. You are all witness to a madwoman. And what about meetings? Will I have to schedule my meetings around my email checking times?

Listen, for all of you snickering out there, I don’t eat white sugar or flour, I don’t drink, smoke or do drugs, I’m terrified of internet porn (just look what happened to Duchovny), my 2 year-olds make knitting impossible….this online, internet, emailing mass of activity is my vice (and, funny enough, my profession).

FYI, there have been 20 Twitter updates, 8 emails, 2 phonecalls and 8 Facebook updates in the 30 minutes I’ve been working on this post…and I never veered off the page. And, will you look at that, I feel pretty calm, pretty good. I can check this task off my list.

Eureka! Maybe my own personal answer is this: it doesn’t have to be 2-3 times per day, but I have to abstain per each project. I like that. I’ll get each project done with total concentration, no distractions. My reward is a check into my online social/work world. Nothing will get too backed up (which would only cause further stress.)

I’m psyched and I’m officially starting now…oh, and you all owe my $5.

Anyone else dealing with this? Any good or proven bad solutions?

some tips for the freelancer or self-employed on time, business and self-management

The business is just ticking along lately, so my over-analyzing mind started picking out the whats, whos, whys, hows and wheres of the positivity. Here are a handful:

1. Every night before I leave my office, shed, shack (I need to name the thing), I make a list of tasks that I need to do the following day. This sounds so simple! But it severely reduces my stress and organizes the millions of thoughts that I carry around in my head. When I leave the office, I find that I am literally and mentally able to leave my office and go home – because all of my to-do’s are safely inked in my notebook. I don’t have to spend any energy replaying and remembering them. And when I get to work in the morning, I look at my list and get right to work – I don’t have to spend any time figuring out what needs to be done.

2. I have a place to go that is all my own. For years, because ‘I was freelancer with a home business’, I assumed that I could work when I needed to wherever I could find a place to set up my laptop. That might work for some people, but for me, it did NOT. I have never been this productive in my life, and I know that it’s because I now have my very own 120 square feet of heaven. My office could be half this size, and the effect would be the same. When I’m at work, I work. When I’m at home, I’m home. Even if your work space is in your home – define it, seal it off. Compartmentalize.

3. You know what they say about dating: when your single it’s impossible to find a date, but the minute you begin a relationship, people are asking you out left and right. I believe on Sex and the City they referred to it as having your cab light on (for all of you SATC lovers). Anywho, the rule applies for freelancers – the busier I get, the more calls and opportunities I get. I suppose it makes sense because the busier I am, the happier I am and, I’ve said it before, people want to work with happy, productive people. Success attracts success…like a good musk.