Quite dirty, Quite hilarious

It’s Friday. And because I’m so busy – with Dragon Tattoo (contest launches March 10th!), Geek Girl Camp (teaching SIX workshops tomorrow!), my best in the world clients and writing a new eBOOK (very, very excited about this) – that my brain just threatened to quit (or at least go on strike) AND because I want to make sure that you’re on top of the latest social media craze, I thought we could all use a little time with my boyfriend today.

FYI, depending on where you work, this might not be totally appropriate. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did.

(And, Jon – my love – I’ll be in the City at the end of the month, if you want to grab a drink. I take my vodka on the rocks with as many olives as you can fit in the glass. Oh, and, I love you.)

What’s security anyway?

I got a phone call yesterday afternoon. Well, first I got a message via LinkedIn requesting the call, then I got the call.

It was from a recruiter. Offering a very (very) high paid job at a company in Boston. For those of you who read this blog regularly and saw yesterday’s post, you can join me in a good laugh here: the position was to create and manage the social media department – wait for it – for a PR firm.

I know. As an old friend used to say, you just can’t make this stuff up.

It turned out that the job wasn’t right for me, the company’s looking for someone with strong social media experience and hands-on programming experience (HTML, Javascript, AJAX, XML, etc.) Which would be like asking me if I could write and do chemistry…which I couldn’t, can’t and, quite frankly, won’t. (If this is YOU, let me know and I’ll guide you right to this recruiter!!! And don’t let the Boston thing scare you, they’re even willing to pay for relo.)

Even though that particular job wasn’t for me, we got to talking – and said recruiter was very excited about what it is that I do, how I do it and why I do it. To be honest, I was excited about my answers too. And this confirmed that it would be sorta hard to woo me away from my present situation – owning my own company, being my own boss, freelancing and the randomness that comes with it.

Let’s be honest.

An actual job has some things going for it: a steady paycheck, health insurance, VACATION TIME, SICK TIME               sorry – I’m back, I think I just fainted for a minute there.

But, and it’s a big BUT – how secure would this job really be? As it stands, my success is entirely dependent on me. It’s a lot of pressure, but at least it’s mine. I do well when I work hard, seize opportunity, smear my gumption all over people…and things like that. I do poorly when I don’t do those things. And I have no one to blame but myself. Really. Even if I get screwed over or let down by a client, it’s up to me whether I cry about it and sling responsibility (and we all deserve at least 5 minutes of this) or whether I just get up and go find another one, a better one. Companies fold all the time or it’s just not a good fit or…there are so many things that could make this opportunity crumble.*

So, what I told her was, “Of course, I’ll send my resume, but:

• I’d be more interest in working as a contractor,
• Or as a consultant,
• Or on a special project for a few weeks to several months,
• And I’d need to telecommute,
• But I’d be happy to travel in on a regular basis.”

I’m not closing any doors. If a job-job came along that was just perfect (and had a sizable signing bonus), I would heavily consider it. As always, there is no definitive path…but there’s a helluva lot of excitement and possibility.

What about you? If you had your choice, would you go it alone or pull your chair up to a cubicle?

*I’m really not a pessimist. The other night, a loud truck with flashing lights woke me up in the middle of the night – my first and only thought was, why are they cleaning the streets at this hour? When, in fact and of course, it was a snowplow and we were in the middle of a snowstorm on March 1st. I think this is a sign of my deeply embedded optimism. (Which is why, for now, I’m putting my chips on Writing Roads.)

Image credit: Lokner

Who needs statistics when we’ve got reality.

While many of my friends spent our junior year abroad in exotic places like Florence, Tanzania, Nepal, Paris and Argentina, I opted for the wilds of St. Louis, MO.

My main gig was volunteering at a domestic violence agency where I researched and wrote the organization’s history, taught dating violence prevention in local schools and worked on the 24-hour crisis hotline. And in order to do this terrifying and terribly important hotline work, I went through an intense and long training program.

• I learned why women stay in abusive relationships when it seems so obvious to the rest of us that they should leave.
• I learned that violence is a vicious cycle.
• And, I learned a number of statistics.

Most of theses numbers have stuck in my brain like gnarly, nasty pieces of chewed gum stuck under the lunch table – ugly to look at, hard to touch, easy to pretend they aren’t there. One of the stats goes like this: The day with the highest rate of domestic violence in the U.S. is Super Bowl Sunday.

Colts vs. Saints

Two days ago, as I sat at my computer working and occasionally watching the Facebook and Twitter streams of Super Bowl brouhaha pass me by, I found it hard to ignore this stuck-in-my-head statistic. I felt rising panic at what was likely going on as the Colts looked good…and then really bad, as the alcohol was consumed, as the chips ran out, as the bets were lost.

So, I put up a tweet and a FB status update telling people about the stat and offering up the number for the National Domestic Violence Hotline. 1-800-799-SAFE (7233), or 1-800-787-3224 (TTY)

What happened next utterly, totally and completely floored me.

Some women, women, came after me. They said the stat was bogus. One said, and I quote: “That is an unfounded myth propogated by the media and womens activist groups. Set the record straight.” (spelling/grammar errors are listed verbatim)

Can you imagine? Women-centric activist groups having the nerve to tell the world that on a day when alcohol, tension and the chance for losing large sums of money are high, there is a greater incidence of domestic violence? The horror. Don’t get me started on the idea that these groups have been lumped in with ‘the media’.

I’ve since learned there are many sides to the validity of the actual stat.

This comment also included the following quote, “On January 31, 1993, when Ken Ringle of The Washington Post questioned the information mentioned in the press release, other news media quickly retracted their articles covering the domestic violence story. The damage was done. The myth continues and Super Bowl Sunday is still sometimes referred to as Bloody Sunday, Abuse Bowl, a Day of Dread, and the Most Dangerous Day in America.”

The damage was done. Yes. Citizens of this country were once again made to look at the fact that women and children are beaten in their own homes every single day by the people who are supposed to love and cherish them. And how dare we disrupt Super Bowl Sunday with this blasphemy! Oh holy, holy day!

My question is, who cares about the validity of this stat? IS THIS WHAT WE SHOULD BE WASTING OUR BREATH ARGUING ABOUT? Domestic Violence is true, real, happening  - right now. And what made these women flare up against me and my status update about this? It confounds me!!! For heaven’s sake, use your breath to help someone, not squabble over what Snopes says!

And how can we believe that information from Ken Ringle up above. Hello? How many lies are we fed every day by industries with ulterior motives!?! I mean, do you really think Cheerios will save you from getting heart disease? PLEASE!!! The fight against the Super Bowl stat is based in the fact that it is a huge day for advertisers and TV: ‘Don’t fuck it up for us with your downer information, thank you’ is, I believe, their message.

My mom

My mother, bless her, has spent roughly 20 years of her life tirelessly working to bring awareness to and raise money for the ugly reality of domestic violence – and she isn’t done yet. Having retired from her role as Development Director, she’s now taking the training again so that she’s up to date and ready to again volunteer on the crisis hotline at Safe Connections in St. Louis.

In her training session this past Saturday (the day before the Big Game), someone (coincidentally) asked about the Super Bowl statistic. And the Director of the hotline said there’s a lot of discrepancy about the statistic. But that the organization personally tracks all of their calls, and every year, every year calls and DV reports spike on Super Bowl Sunday and the entire week that follows.

Statistic are hard to get. Especially when they surround an issue that people keep quiet, viciously undercover – so they don’t get arrested (the abuser) or so that they don’t get killed by their abuser (the abusee). Another stat: the chance an abused woman will be killed by her abuser if she tries to leave the situation increases roughly 75%.

What we do know is that an agency in downtown St. Louis, Missouri (middle America, right in the heartland) has their own stats. And they aren’t good.

If you or someone you know is being hurt, please reach out. Everyone deserves to be safe.

1-800-799-SAFE (7233), or 1-800-787-3224 (TTY)

Image credit: sinosplice

The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo meets Writing Roads (another girl with a tattoo or three)

I’m bad at picking books to read at the bookstore, you know, when it’s just me and shelves of beautifully packaged words. Apparently I missed that gene. I get swayed by the cover or the fact that the author’s name kind of looks like mine and I’m blinded by the dream of being published. Anywho, the ones I pick up on my own almost always disappoint.

Thank the good lord, I’m very good at taking book orders recommendations.

I might be a little annoying about it too. I ask a million questions, like: Do any animals get hurt? (I literally can’t take it) and Is it scary? and How fast, exactly, do you think I’ll be able to read it? (Because the world has to stop until I finish). I like to get the full review before I invest my time and I like to know what I’m getting myself into it. I demand full ‘word of mouth’ service.

As a result, I end up with superb books. Books that smart people told me I had to read. Or else.

Even though I like girls with tattoos…

And so it was with The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo. First of all, I never would have picked this book up on my own. Even though I like girls with tattoos, I’m not into dragons. And it’s a murder mystery type of book, not my usual genre. But, my parents – who have a superb reading record (I did get that gene) – gave it to me for Christmas. And I saw their eyes light up when I ripped the wrapping paper away. And I knew that even though this book promised some unpleasant subject matter, and even though it started out with a lot of hooha about banking and business (yawn) – this book was going to be a keeper.

Turns out, it’s a trilogy: The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo, The Girl Who Played With Fire and The Girl Who Kicked The Hornets’ Nest. Adding to the intrigue is that the author, Stieg Larsson, died of a heart attack right after he handed in his manuscripts. He has no idea that he’s sold millions of books, that this book is becoming a raving hit and that three movies have been made based on the trilogy. A writer’s life is just full of ironical detours, eh?

Is fiction ever really fiction?

There’s also more intrigue in that his life oddly mirrors much of his protagonist’s life. You know how I love when art imitates life and when fiction isn’t really all that fictional. And, for the geeky among us, this is the first book I’ve read where modern technology (laptops, email, the internet, hackers) are seamlessly interwoven into the story without seeming artificial.

My latest GIG…

And then the planets collided and I was hired to do the social media marketing campaign for the first movie. The author, the books and the movie are all Swedish, and they’ve reached cult status overseas, both the books and the movie have won prestigious awards over there. My campaign over here is going to be very bloggy. I’m staging a mystery for readers to solve across the blogosphere...so stay tuned. You could win premier tickets, meet-ups with the actual girl with the dragon tattoo, shirts, books…the whole bit.

I think books are best found through word of mouth…and now I’ve been charged with the task of putting this book into as many wordy mouths as humanly possible. How cool is that?

And, between you and me, the book is that good. So, read it. Or else. And then, tell everyone you know about it. Or else. And then, go see the movie. Or else. And then, tell everyone you know to see it. You know, or else.

Geek Girl Camp 2010!!!

It’s that time again, yes, indeedy. And, I’m so excited. After a fantastic inaugural year – in which Geek Girl took off like gangbusters (on Red Bull) – I can’t wait to see what this second season brings.

What? You don’t know about Geek Girl Camp? Or the Geek Girls? Where do I begin!

1. The fabulous, brilliant, selfless, kind and energetic fireball otherwise known as Leslie Fishlock, had an IDEA.
2. She was on a mission to make sure that every woman/girl/chiquita had the opportunity to learn about tech (computers, social media, apps, programs, you name it) in a safe, non-threatening, supportive way.
3. Boom. She assembled a world-class, top-notch team (cough, cough – yes, if I do say so myself) of Geek Girls to teach, share and spread the good word.
4. Two Geek Girl Camps (GGC) exploded on the scene last spring (on Cape Cod and in Boston) offering full day seminars with loads of workshops on every technology topic imaginable at an insanely affordable price ($140) – oh, and there was a party with a signature alcoholic beverage to boot.
5. I was honored to teach 10 workshops at GGC over 2 days about blogging (how to, abc’s, finding voice, using blogs to grow your business) and social media.
6. Geek Girl for Hire was created – sending out single or multi-womaned troops to companies and organizations everywhere teaching geek and tech.
7. Operation Laptop Donation for Women was put into full effect – taking discarded laptops, cleaning them up and giving them to women (going back to school or work) in need.

The first Geek Girl Camp for 2010 has been announced, and I can’t wait to lead my blogging workshops and be a part of this phenomenalness again! I hope to see you there. Tell everyone you know. Here’s the deal (and make sure you grab the discount code at the bottom, you only have until Jan. 1st!!!):

The Twitter Triage

Once upon a time, I worked in an office. I remember it, but the details are somewhat fuzzy. I didn’t like the work, but I loved the socializing.

We were horrible influences on each other. One person would innocently say, ‘I wish I had some ice cream…’ and someone else would jump up, grab their keys and ask what flavor. Before you knew it, there was sundae party in the dining room.

But sometimes this came in handy. Like when someone was heading out to the store and asked, ‘I’m headed to the store, does anyone need anything? These days, I can only ask myself and the onus is on me to partake in ice cream.

Until today. There I was minding my own business on Twitter, when I saw this tweet:

Yes, of course. Why not triage on Twitter?

• “I’m calling Applecare about my iMac glitch, anyone have any questions for them?”
• “Headed to Home Depot to price kitchen cabinets, anyone else looking? Let me know your measurements.”
• “Going out for Burrito’s tonight, anyone on the South Side want me to bring you something back?”

Now that’s social networking.

Image credit: Erkka P.

Authentic trumps agreeable

I had the honor of facing Boston traffic in the rain yesterday with the one and only Leslie Fishlock, President/CEO of Genevate and Founder/Brilliantess of Geek Girls.

Because we are both huge geeks, we talked a lot of shop – and Leslie said a fantastic thing about blogging:

“I read so many blogs that I don’t agree with – but I’m always attracted to an authentic voice.”

If we all want blogs to continue to inform and educate, like the good ones do, then embracing Leslie’s sentiment is critical. After all, how can you learn new things or grow as a person if you only read items that you agree with?

Disagreement, differing options…they make the world go ’round. But there are two sides to this dialogue.

1. The writer must be authentic, speaking from the heart. Their voice has to shine through and their reasons for their position must be clear.
2. The reader must have an open mind, a natural curiosity and the desire to listen, digest, expand.

When respectful people read contrary views and have the blog-given ability to comment on them, the magic happens. Views are opened, discussions occur, common ground may be found. And people find less and less of a reason to fight, blame or -simply- stick to their side of the fence.

I’ll admit that my M.O. isn’t always to read posts I disagree with either completely or with an open-mind. But now I can see that I was the one missing out. I wasted an opportunity to learn, educate and communicate. This post is a shout out to readers and bloggers (many are one in the same) – write with passion, realness and respect. Read and respond with the same.

Turns out we don’t have to agree to get along, we just have to be real.

Image credit: photographer pandora

Twitter isn’t so crazy

This morning I was out rollerblading and I crossed paths with these two lovely ladies that I see out there from time to time. They’re probably about 65 and they’re on their bikes.

We were traveling in different directions and passed each other three times. At each pass, we had these mini-flyby conversations, like this one:

As we approached…

Lady 1: I love your little car!

Lady 2: What is it?

As we passed each other:

Me: Subaru.

Lady 2: The Impreza?

Me: Yep.

Over our shoulders:

Lady 1: Do you love it?

Me: Totally. Awesome car. And affordable.

Both Ladies: Thanks!

The world, as I see it, is currently divided into two camps: those that love Twitter and those that hate it. Which is why I love when I see ‘Twitter’ enacted in real life. ‘Cause them I can say, ‘You know what? Twitter isn’t so crazy…it happens all the time.”

Image credit gianmerizzi

Dealing with hate online

What is going on? Over the course of the last couple of weeks, I’ve watched the Hate Meter rise. One of those times, it was disturbingly turned on me in reaction to a post I wrote, but the horror of it really supersedes the target. Hate is just nasty. There’s no way around it. And social media seems to breed its own brand, or maybe it’s the same old, same old – just wearing a new dress. A new dress getting soaked in a shit storm.

Why people hate

I’ve got to say it seems to boil down to these three things:

• Insecurity
• Fear
• Need for attention

Social media, for worse in this scenario, offers people a filter. They can and do behave in ways that they would probably never behave in real life. No one can see them, they don’t have to look into a person’s eyes and see their heart and soul. They can hide behind their computer screen armed with 26 letters and some exclamation marks.

How they hate

Social Media is so vast that it gives the haters quite the array of options:

• Social networking, such as Twitter. They can bring someone down swiftly by tweeting something nasty to their followers, pushing the retweet or carrying on in public (@reply) conversations.
• Video. This makes them seem bold, when really they’re hurling their hate at a camera, not an actual person.
• Blogs. Let me count the ways. They can write their own nasty post or leave horrid comments on someone else’s.
• Email. Start a hate campaign, make it juicy, add pictures and it will go viral.
• Forums. How fun to start a hate thread!

The Umbrella: What to do about it

In the face of social media hate, you have some choices to make:

1. Fight back. Now this seems like a good idea at first, doesn’t it. ‘How dare s/he say that about me!’ Believe me, I understand that you’re raring to go. But, just like my older brothers who teased me relentlessly, this is what the hater wants. They’re baiting you. So…
2. Silence is really an incredible option. Bite your tongue, dog’s chew toy, a towel. Walk away from your computer. Channel George Clooney and do not engage. (if you got that joke, you get a gold star)
3. Block ‘em. You have the right to block people from your blog and your networks. You do not need to be harassed on your own ‘domain’ – so to speak. I’m not suggesting that you block or censor naysayers. Differing opinions are great and add a lot to the conversation. But hate and violence are not to be tolerated.
4. Find an outlet. Friends, trusted colleagues, your mom. Rant to them. Let them love you and tell you it’s okay. Have them remind you of how wonderful you are and how batshit insane the hater is. If you can, invite them all to an email party – let the stream of love and fun ensue. The hater is left to hate alone in silence while you’re all having a lovefest.
5. Depend on your peeps. Watch with glee as your readers go to the mattresses for you – defending, talking back, throwing themselves in front of you like the iron clad shields that they are.
6. Rise above. Go do something that puts you back on track. Write a killer post. Retweet good people. Make a donation. Hang with your family. Don’t forget that you are better than this hater and their hateful stink. Hate can be like quicksand, don’t get pulled down into it. Don’t believe it, don’t invite it in.
7. Be careful. If this hater is really scaring you or making serious threats, do not hesitate to take it directly to the police. Don’t forget to document and save all correspondence. Not only emails, but screen shots of tweets, forum posts, etc.

Don’t forget that the ‘world’ is watching. Oftentimes the hater is just making a fool out of their own sorry self. If you keep your wits about you and do the right thing, your social media value and reputation will only go up – and so will your self-preservation. Now, go on with your bad self…and make love, not war.

Image credit: Kayepants

Blogstipation (and how to avoid it)

Cheers to Cassie Aiden for introducing me to this fabutastic word…

Blogstipation. Is it the inability to write blog posts? The back-up of so many good blog ideas? Or is it a blog that’s just not moving – no increase in visitors, pageviews, business?

Of course the term itself fits all three of these possibilities….it’s that good.

The inability to write blog posts

You’ve run out of ideas, you’re having a bad day, you’re simply out of juice.

1. Search the net, check other blogs. Chances are someone’s writing about something that either you could write better or their take on it is a 180 degree spin from yours…make it your own.

2. Walk away from your computer. Literally – take a walk, a bike ride, something to get out of your head and get creativity flowing through every limb again.

3. Don’t panic. Ask some folks to guest post, do some interviews – take the heat off of yourself and your muse.

4. Whatever you do, don’t just write something for the sake of filling your blog. People are less likely to leave you because of your silence than because of your pointless or crappy posts.

The Back-up

So many things brewing that you simply can’t get anything done or published.

1. Don’t let ideas back up in your brain, it’s very crowded already. Carry a notebook or a digital voice recorder or a smart phone to get the ideas out of the brain and into the world as they happen. You know, let it flow.

2. Make a list, schedule, calendar…and use it.

3. Hire a VA or other specialists (like writers, designers, techies, cleaners, bookkeepers, etc.) to help you get things done.

4. Prioritize. There’s bound to be something in that there should be done first. Do it…and get the ball rolling again.

The stagnation

Same number of visitors day after day? No new business?

1. Guest post somewhere else – preferably on a blog with readers who have never heard of you and need your services.

2. Use Twitter. Follow new people, build relationships, give good tweet by sharing interesting links and info on a wide range of subjects. (I ’spose a little LinkedIn and Facebook wouldn’t hurt either)

3. Write an ebook and make it free and valuable.

4. Do some keyword research about your topic and find out what people are looking for…then give it to them.

If absolutely none of this works:

1. Shut down your blog. Maybe it’s just not your thing?

2. Add more fiber to your diet: get out there and experience life, learn more about your industry, go to conferences. LIVE away from your computer.

3. Take some blogging Pepto: Shot of Red Bull? Glass of Merlot? Shot of Tequila? Mug of green tea? Flask of hot chocolate?

4. Call me…a good friend, your coach or mentor. Sometimes we just have to talk these things through…

Image credit: Alexander Ekman