Talking Roads

I am the little sister to two big brothers…who kind of tortured me (okay, in equal parts to how much I tortured them) while we were growing up. Teasing was their weapon of choice - and they preyed on my knack for verbalism, ie. talking a lot. Apparently, I was am loud, too. This was their favorite routine:

Jon: THIS IS JULIE YELLING!

Steve: THIS IS JULIE TALKING REALLY LOUD!

JON: THIS IS JULIE TALKING IN A NORMAL VOICE!

STEVE: This is Julie whispering!

jon: and this is julie not even talking at all!

Yes, sports fans, it’s a miracle that I grew up to be a communicator. But, I did. An educator and teacher, a writer and a public speaker, no less.

Ever the writer, in my past life, I was also a yoga teacher and workshop leader at Kripalu Center, the largest yoga retreat center in the world. I’ve presented independently to audiences as big as 2,000 at schools across the northeast. When I’m talking about my passions, I light up.

Those of you who know me do know that I’m not one to go heavy on the cheese, but when I speak to people about my passions, I tingle, I feel more alive than I knew I could feel. I am full to burst.

This is why I love to blog…it’s an extension of speaking for me. It virtually combines my devotion to writing and speaking.

And, it’s why I’ve taken this show on the road. I’m speaking (out-loud & off-blog) about writing, blogging and using social media to network and grow your business…authentically.

Why am I so passionate about writing, blogging and social media?

• Because learning these tools to grow my business has changed my life in ways that I never could have imagined. My mind, my skills, my personal and business connections, my aptitude for self-development & learning, my wallet, my quality of life, my happiness levels, my delight with life, my ability to be part of my family…they all grow every day as a result.
• Because to me, writing, blogging and social media breed, maximize and require authenticity. Without it, you will fail - social media is built that way. I help people find their authentic voice.

Why am I telling you this?

Because without sharing - the cycle, development, growth and joy deflate, stagnate, stop. By definition, this internet, and all it brings, thrives on the sharing of information.

How we can do it?

I am available to help, guide, inspire and catapult you through:

• Conferences
• Workshops
• Guest speaking
• Teleseminars
• Podcasts
• Blog/Article interviews
• Private consulting (individual, company, groups)

Let’s do it.

I look forward to hearing from you via email or 413.281.6013.

The brilliance of blog comments for writers

Have you ever written something on a blog about grape jelly only to come back an hour later, read your comments and realize you were wrong - that you actually wrote the post about peanut butter?

It doesn’t happen to me often, but it happens.

Blog comments offer us an incredible view of what we said, how we said it and how it lands with our audience. Did we, in fact, communicate the message we were hoping to deliver? Did we sound angry when we meant to sound passionate? Negative when we meant to be realistic?

What an opportunity to learn, to be critiqued in the pseudo-privacy of our own blog’s backend.

When this happens, I go back and reread what I wrote. I’m curious to see if I can find the place(s) that led my readers to that other place. I try to figure out how I can do it better next time…or if my readers tapped into something more fascinating than I could have, originally, imagined - which is quite often the case.

The ‘hello, goodbye’ game

A friend of mine just told me about this wildly useful exercise she did in couples therapy:

They sat facing each other and closed their eyes (which signified ‘me’ time). Whenever each of them felt like opening their eyes (which signified that they felt like connecting with their partner), they did and said, ‘hello!’

Sometimes their partner also had their eyes open, sometimes not. Sometimes while they had their eyes open, their partner opened their eyes and they connected. Sometimes their partner never opened their eyes, and when they were ready to go ‘back inside’ they said, ‘goodbye’ and closed their eyes once again. Rinse, repeat.

I found the explanation of this exercise to be a poignant metaphor, not only for how we interact with our partners, family and friends, but for how we ‘live’ on the internet.

The purpose of this exercise is to let couples see that you can’t possibly always be connected, that you are, in fact, individuals with needs, desires and personalities that simply don’t jibe with each other all the time.

This reality is oftentimes extremely difficult for people in relationship to understand (and what makes relationships so challenging). We want connection when we want it and we don’t want it when we don’t want it. In other words, we want their needs met on our terms, when someone else’s terms have to be considered, it’s quite, um, inconvenient. Shocker: it takes work, collaboration and compromise.

The internet and social media have us participating in this ‘hello, goodbye’ game every time we log on. We say hello and goodbye at will and so does everyone else - we have no choice but to accept this. Sometimes we connect with people at the same time, sometimes we don’t - and there’s a delay between responses. Just like in relationship, if we absolutely require connection, we can set up a meeting where both parties agree to be present.

But, we’re okay with this scenario online. Why?

The view is often expressed that our computer and mobile device screens provide a buffer that allows us to say things we might not normally say to someone’s face. SO, are the screens also allowing us to ‘deal with ourselves’ in a positively abnormal way too? (Or is it that we’re not married to the people in our online communities? Those of you that do communicate online with your partners will have to let me know about that one.)

Are we doing our internet relationships better? Or am I about to get pounded by my readers for comparing the virtual vs. the live relationship? I can see it going both ways.

Weigh in…I know you’re all going to have some strong opinions here.

it’s sarcastication, people

I’m not sure if there is such a thing, but I’ve decided that today is make up a new word day. Honestly, as a writer, every day is make up a new word day. I feel totally fine with bending, twisting and manipulating the English language (and some others as well). My newest word is ’sarcasticate’ and it means: to make something sarcastic. It’s a verb. I like it so much, I’m writing a whole post about it, and here it is:

Sometimes, I wish I could write code or do computer programming. First of all, it would make me smarter and more able. Secondly, it would help me with an issue that I keep running into.

You see, I can make things bold. I can italicize. I can underline. I can even strikethrough. But, I can’t sarcasticate.

Even using those smiley face emotive icons, there isn’t one that means sarcastic. They have sad, mad, kissey, sick - all of those are easily visible states of being. But sarcastic? Not so much.

It seems that sarcastication, while writing on the internet must actually be conveyed through words. There is no help. And, while I do think it’s safe to say that I have the sarcasticating gene, I also think that the reader has to have that gene too…and some brain power. Not to mention the fact that you must have actual reality downpat before you can get the sarcasm. So, conceivably, my sarcastications could be missed by some readers because of their own ineptitude or because I might be having an off day.

Without the sound of my voice, I rely on my written words…because I’m a writer…that’s the point, I get it. And, I’m thrilled that while code and program can’t currently help me sarcasticate, I can mold my meaning with my words (those that are real and those that I’ve composed).

how do you blog? blogging checks and balances

I was working with a client who I do marketing, blog and writing consulting for, and we were working on her blog writing strategy when she asked me, ‘But what are the rules for blogging?’

She’s a life coach with an incredible family story who is working on a blog about/surrounding her upcoming book about coaching.

It’s important to note that we had already had an involved conversation about how she could find a voice that was conversational, not preachey, yet still full of power and information. (I couldn’t understand why that was confusing and difficult.) But seriously, my advice to her on this point was to find the person to write to that makes her feel really good, that loves/likes her unconditionally, whose relationship holds no negative emotional charge (meaning do NOT pick your spouse or your mother), who supports her, who’s a huge fan, who also calls her on her shit, who brings out her most incredible self. She has to pick that ‘you’ that she’ll be writing to. For the sake of this post and to avoid confusion, let’s call her ‘Jane’.

So, when she asked me about the rules, I told her, ‘You need checks and balances.’

As I see it, she has 4 perspectives tugging at her pen. She can’t, and shouldn’t, keep them equally balanced at all times, but her goal is to make sure that no matter what she writes, each of these corners is okay, taken care of, considered.

Here’s the plan:

• Make 4 cards, one for each perspective. In this case: 1. Jane. 2. Book Mission. 3. Personal Life and Family. 4. Coaching Work.
• Under each heading, write the definition of each perspective, the gist of what each perspective stands for, perhaps their boundaries. (Examples below)
• Tape them up in front of your computer.
• As you write, remember each perspective and make sure they’re okay with what you’re writing, that you meet each of their standards and requirements.

Here’s an idea of what those cards look like, all flushed out -

1. Jane: Confidence, energy, humor, total support, real connection, authenticity, acceptance.
2. Book Mission: to help people with life in general, decisions, challenges, time management, relationships, balance, etc.
3. Life: children, husband, safety, personal boundaries (ie. Little Rosie doesn’t want her middle school drama plastered all over her mom’s blog, but the realtime negotiations of curfews or friend choices is fair game.)
4. Coaching: Coaching Philosophies, mantras, lamposts, rules, ethics.

If you really need reigning in, you can add photos to each card to hold you accountable.

What do you think? Any other ideas on staying on track, on topic, on mission, on post, on blog…???

now that’s green copy

As many of you know, I’m rather green. I live in a house with composting toilets, after all.

I found this good bit of copy on a bottle of All Purpose Cleaner from an uber-green company called, biokleen.

In their environmental statement, they don’t say something like, ‘We care about the environment.” They dive much deeper than that. Their bottle says,

We are the environment

They’re saying that there is no separation. They are so committed, not to a cause, but to themselves, yourselves, the planet - and, to them, it’s all the same thing.

Superb copy:

• Message accomplished
• Short, pithy, to the point
• Made me think
• I actually spent some time pondering the message, considering them and their product
• I like their sentiment and their product
• I’m going to buy it

bridging the web 2.0 gap: when social networking means different things to different people

As you all know, I enjoy me some online social networking. I like my Facebook, my Twitter, my LinkedIn in particular. But, lately, I’m noticing this clash of the generations (or sensibilities, perhaps?).

Basically, people are using these networks for one of three reasons:

1.  business activities

2. personal activities

3. a mixture of the two

But what happens when these groups bump into each other?

Sometimes it’s okay. For instance,  I do love catching up with my high school friends on Facebook, and when I market my business and my blog there, they’re potential clients…it is a network, you know. And at least they all have jobs(ish) and understand that I’m making a living.

But then, my nieces friend me and they’re 13 and they put up ridiculous pictures of me from family gatherings. And my sister-in-law writes ’stuff’ on my wall that I don’t want anyone else to see because she’s 23 and using Facebook in its original configuration - as an online yearbook of sorts for the college set.

None of this is a huge deal - I can delete and manage my page…but I find it fascinating to watch as Facebook grows and builds into something more professional and business networky than it once was. And, I’m enthralled by the friend numbers that the younger folk have - think of the network at their fingertips when they grow up and have something really important to share. Hmmm, guess I shouldn’t delete them as friends, they’re holding some prime real estate…oh, and I love them, they’re family after all.

the target market of one: finding your blog audience

Blogging is about the conversation, right? That said, there are certain ‘big’ blogs that I read where I can tell the writer is talking to thousands of people - I feel it, I feel like I’m just one of the many. There are other ‘big’ blogs that always leave me feeling like I’m the only one in the room - and that’s the goal - for any kind of marketing writing, perhaps any kind of writing.

Some of my readers have gone out of their way to tell me that they feel like I’m talking directly to them…which I find superb, because I am. I’m most certainly talking to one person - and that intimacy is able to come through. I’ve picked one person to write my blog to, and every time I sit down to write, I imagine this person sitting in front of me. I purpose my message to this individual allowing my conversational style to be authentic.

So, why then, you may ask, do so many of my readers feel like I’m writing to them personally? They, possibly you, feel that connection because it’s a contact high. It’s catharsis at its best. My best example of this phenomenon has to be the movies. Note: I am a writer with a very potent imagination, this might not show up for you in exactly the same way it does for me.

Take any romantic movie, throw George Clooney (still my favorite) in (or whoever does it for you) and let him/her romance the hell out of someone (could be a girl or a boy - have you seen the Ocean’s movies?)…somehow, sitting there, watching that movie, the viewer gets the sensation that George is talking to them, that they are in love and being loved by GC…and they literally feel full of bliss. Catharsis by movie: you get to revel in your emotions by watching someone else’s experience.

Anyway, as I write to my one and only, you pick up on our intimacy, our connection. I hope it makes you feel included, like you’re part of something. Because you are. This is an excellent writing tool that enables you to meet your audience and influence them. It’s the difference between talking to them and shouting at them, really. The difference between inviting them over to try your fabulous new coffee maker and telling them that they BETTER GET ONE BEFORE THEY’RE ALL GONE! Think about it.

The best part is, with the blog platform, you (the audience) get to talk back. You can keep that conversation going - say what you like, reveal what you don’t, ask for what’s missing. A conversation wants two or more - it can’t exist with just one. In effect, I am writing to you. And, I love it when you join me with emails or comments. I promise to always talk back.

using your blog as your portfolio or case study display, part 2

I can’t stop thinking about this ideas of using your blog as your portfolio. I’ve run it by some folks - and the excitement and possibilities are building. One of my clients whom I’m consulting as she begins her work as a freelancer realized that with this idea she could save thousands of dollars, and weeks of site-build time, she could start tonight. And she will.

Here, so far, is the best part. As Gem mentioned, why wait until the project is done? Why not document the entire project, Case Study-like on your blog? If you go back to my post on case studies, you’ll see that one of the benefits of this platform is that you’re allowing people to see your process, what it will be like to work with you and how good you are on the job. It’s transparency at its best, right?

That said, you have to have the right attitude because this calls for a fair amount of reveal. You can’t really hide the little man behind the curtain.

To use your blog to display case studies, here’s what you need to do:

1. Pick a project that is not top secret, of course.
2. Clear it with the client. Make sure you explain to them that this is free publicity that will last forever.
3. Choose a project that you feel uber-confident about. (you do want to look good here, afterall)
4. If snafus or issues arise, use them to your advantage. We are all learning here, and part of your skill is being able to handle whatever comes along and make it work in light of the fact that things have a habit of getting messy.
5. Depending on your industry, use print, audio, images, even video to capture the process.
6. Engage your audience. Give them a voice, literally. If you have 3 taglines you’re choosing from, why not let the people help you decide. Use the internet as a testing ground - so many people do it wisely and to their benefit.
7. Share your pride, enthusiasm and talent. Never under-estimate or under-promote your hard work or yourself.

Final piece for now (why do I have the feeling that I’ll have more to say on this topic?): I’m a Wordpress girl. And Brian Clark over at Copyblogger, with his partner, Chris Pearson, have developed a stunning, productive, dare I say, brilliant Wordpress theme called Thesis. Just one of the zillions of components it features? A customizable, rotating image box at the top of the page - the perfect showcase for your blog portfolio images, the perfect showcase. Don’t be surprised if my blog has a whole new look sometime soon. Click here to try Thesis for yourself.

please help me be a freelance writer!

One of my clients/readers just wrote to me in response to the series I’ve been posting about how to become a freelance writer and insisted that I remind (though notify might be more accurate) everyone that I provide consultations for the brave souls starting freelancing businesses/careers. This involves one on one guidance, tutorials, planning, strategy, networking (how to and actual connections), brainstorming, problem-solving and unlimited question answering (and possibly work to fill your portfolio as I need 5 of me to get everything done).

I agreed to posting about this service I provide because it is the most gratifying work that I do. When I started out, I had…ummmmm….pretty much no one and nothing to guide me. I read as much as I could and had a sister-in-law in the biz for some help (but she had been in the advertising world for some time, very successfully, before she went out on her own - so we were coming from very different places, very. I mean, she left her advertising firm and took some clients with her to her own shop - without naming names, I can tell you that they are top makers of chocolate and pet food, top.)

I would have given anything to have a kind, caring, supportive, optimistic, enthusiastic, encouraging, honest, info-packed, experience-heavy person to mentor me, anything. So I’m pleased, proud and thrilled to do this for other people. I love it.

If you want to chat about this personally…hit the phone typewriter key at the top of this page and send me an email or give me a call.

Talk soon,

Julie