The Hard Refresh: Wiping your creative slate clean

It occurs to me that some people don’t know about the hard refresh command. And that I take it for granted that I do.

Basically, your browser caches web pages (or files and remembers them on your computer). So, if something changes on a website, you might not know – because when you type the web address into your browser bar, it returns the last page it remembers for that address. (Didja get that?)

The browser doesn’t always go back to the site’s server and look for a new, updated page. (The hows and whys of when it does and does not do this are soooo not important here – and highly technical in a way that I have chosen decidedly not to be!)

However, if you engage the hard refresh – by holding the shift key down while you click on the refresh button – the page reloads anew. This is particularly helpful when you’re building or updating a website. (Which I find myself doing a LOT of these days with my uber-team.)

What a handy tool to have at the ready when you have an automatic reaction to something.

Like:

• When you see potato chips and then eat the whole bag – because your browser remembers that that’s what you did the last time.
• Or when you see that someone that’s just no good for you and you run to them as fast as you possibly can – because your browser remembers that that’s what you did the last time.
• Or when you have a lot of work to do and instead you clean your house or eat or watch a movie or play solitaire or go out to dinner or surf the web – because your browser remembers that that’s what you did the last time.
• Or when you’re trying to write a new post, paint a new picture, solve the oil crisis in the Gulf of Mexico and you just keep coming up with the same crap or stagnation or theme or brilliance – because your browser remembers that that’s what you did last time.

Ahhh…to be able to hit shift+refresh and clear the slate, load something new and see an entirely updated screen.

Image credit: CeeKay

Filed under How To | Tags: creativity, hard refresh, inspiration, living, reboot, refresh, reload, second chance, write, writer, Writing | Comments (7)

Just add running shoes

The regulars around here know that I’m an avid (read incredibly enthusiastic) rollerblader – but it wasn’t always my go-to sweat activity. I used to be addicted to the pool (and the intense meditative silence of swimming back in forth in water), tolerant of the bike (I just never found a comfortable existence there) and, then, of course, there was the running.

Here’s the thing about running. It’s the easiest thing in the world. You don’t need a pool, you don’t need an expensive bike and helmet…you just need some good sneakers. You can run anywhere: dirt, pavement, sand, grass. I used to love my long runs all over Boston and its burbs. On the weekends, I’d hit the trails with my dog for epic ventures on wooded trails – jumping over roots, sloshing through streams, in heat, in rain, in snow. Never bored.

And then I got hurt. I was running a road race – 10 miles along the sea coast of New Hampshire from the border of Maine to the border of Massachusetts. About a mile in, I started to feel it – pain on the outside of my ankle. But I had come to this race with co-workers who were serious runners and I wouldn’t let myself stop. Pride is also a bitch.

So, I kept running. And it was the worst run ever. Drove an hour home, got into bed, fell asleep, woke up, couldn’t walk. The intensity of that injury lasted for a good month – and it took me away from running for a very, very long time. I told myself the separation was forever. I told everyone that running was baaaadddddd.

Everything happens for a reason, though. I left running and triathlons for yoga and walking in the woods. I reorganized the way my mind worked, I healed some long-held body image issues by being kind to myself and not manically slave driving. As many of you know, I’ve been working my way back into the hard core exercise world again, but I still gripped tightly to this 9 year story that I. Couldn’t. Run.

Then, last week, I got the urge. It was clear as day, ‘up in lights’ on the top of my brain. I wanted to put on my shoes and take off. The desire for sweat, a pounding heart and straining muscles pulling me to the store to buy my first pair of running shoes in almost a decade.

***************************************

This morning I went running. My lungs burned and ached, but my body practically sang. Dirt, pavement, sand, grass – I tackled them all and only whined a little. I devoured that exhilarating sprint at the end – it being proof that the story I’d been telling myself for the last 9 years - I can’t run – wasn’t true.

What is true is that I can write a new story…one that only needs a good pair of running shoes and the belief that, dammit, I can do anything.

Image credit: ishane

Filed under How To, Myth or Reality, Writing | Tags: copywriting, inspiration, running, self-discovery, Writing | Comments (6)

The Big Flipowski

A week or so ago, on the Diane Rehm show, Barbara Bradley Hagerty talked about her new book, Fingerprints of God. It was a fascinating interview, but one point stuck out for me – and it wasn’t the focus of her book or the interview. They began talking about prayer and its power and the fact that many people believe so hardily and heartily in the power of prayer that if they go to church and pray their hearts out – and then get sick (as in terminally or chronically very sick) – they are left with a feeling that they didn’t pray hard enough. Because there understanding is that if they were doing it right, they would be okay. They take it on as their own fault.

How often do events happen that we, humans, take responsibility for, bear the burden for – when in fact it might not be ours at all?

There is a sweet philosophy floating around these days. It says that if you think positively and reach for good thoughts, Good will come to you. There’s a dangerous promise there, though, because we are left with the responsibility of thinking good enough thoughts. So, what happens when we think ‘good’ and get ‘shit’? Did we do it wrong? I mean, who else could possibly be to blame? What if we just can’t think purely positively? We didn’t do it right, we didn’t do it enough. It’s our fault that we didn’t get what we wanted.

This used to be me. In fact, I started writing this post – from the sentence above this and up – last week and I was living every word of it. I was struggling and blaming myself about a lot of things…particularly the writing of my book which wasn’t going so well, compounded by the fact that the big-time, big-house editor had a chunk of it and was remaining silent.

And then I had this epiphany. A real one, if you can believe it. I was talking to this incredible woman (whole other long story) and I told her that I thought I was addicted to pain and suffering. I believed that I was gifted (no kidding) with the tortured artist’s gene of despair and angst.

She said, “I’ve never met anyone who’s addicted to pain and suffering. You aren’t really.”

“Oh,” but I said, “I really am. Even when things are going really well, I freak myself out and get all upset…” and then it started to hit me “…and I tell the people close to me…” holy crap, really? “…so that they’ll make me feel better…” wah huh? “…Oh my god. I. Want. To. Feel. Good. I like it. It’s been my M.O. all along.”

Life as I thought I knew it has ended. Officially. Armed with this knowledge, I’m incapable of making myself miserable.

I have proof:

Two days ago, I got an email from said big-time, big-house, Editor…she doesn’t like or want my book.

I cried, I was sad. I’m still human, after all…I think. I shared the news with some key friends & colleagues who were stunning in their responses. But I never even went near the pit of despair that would’ve typically beckoned me inside: I worried too much, I wasn’t inspired enough, I let negativity creep in…and that’s why this tragedy happened. I did it wrong. I deserve the shit, every splatter.

Um, yeah. Of course, you did it wrong, you doofus. But not the wanting it or positivity or ‘prayer’ – it just wasn’t right. The book will be better if I do this (more on that later too) – it’ll be more me. And maybe she isn’t my Editor. And…and…and…. Alas, this is a growth process, this writing thing, and it’s meant to be savored and explored. It’s delightful.

I woke up yesterday excited, inspired…I read the Editor’s email again and opportunity was all I could se for miles and miles. I owned my part, made decisions, felt good.

Today? Even better…woke up at 4am…had to start writing.

Why am I telling you this? At least one of you will find it inspirational to know that change – magnificent, profound change - is possible. And that it isn’t our fault when things don’t go as we’d hoped. We really do the best that we can. Sometimes, we feel good, sometimes we feel bad…sometimes it doesn’t matter.

I’m not down and I’m not out. It’s a flipping miracle.

Image courtesy of Jon Hanson

Filed under How To, Writing | Tags: inspiration, Julie Roads, reality, Writing, Writing Roads | Comments (9)

A tale of two bags

This is what happened to me last night:

Women on Fire

I went to hear a phenomenal speaker, executive coach, the founder of Women on Fire and the author of the book by the same name, Debbie Phillips. She talked about, well, being a woman on fire – the steps that you have to take for courage, inspiration, following your heart and the like. She was funny and motivating and charming – and everyone was très fired up.

And, then, Debbie invited us to have an experience. We each wrote on a card the following three things:

1. What is your biggest accomplishment from the past year?
2. What are you fired up about right now?
3. What do you need to help turn that fired up thing into an accomplishment?

Speaking out

We all wrote down our answers and then got into groups of four to discuss them. Five minutes later, Debbie asked people to stand up in front of the room (120+/- women) and share. If you haven’t noticed, I have a big mouth and I jumped right up – though not really because of my inability to keep my mouth shut.

The thing I’m fired up about is the writing of my book and the big mama publishing house that’s interested in it – but I’m watching myself stand off to the left of this fact. Do you know what I mean? I’m so excited, but when I tell people I feel like I’m peering around the trophy, not holding it square in front of my gut. I have a toe in the shoes, but I’m not standing in them. The news is too big. It is too much ‘everything I’ve ever wanted’. So, I thought, well, I’ll just get up in front of all of these women and say it, loud and proud. And I’ll feel it, believe it, own it.

After all, Debbie said again and again how important this process was – to be on fire and share it in the safe company of other women on fire. She said safe and connection and support so often during her talk, each enveloping and practically obliterating my fear. So I stood up. I said what I was on fire about. People clapped and cheered. Afterwards, many of the women asked me about the book and gave me huge hugs…

Pause

I’m going to pause now and tell you that someone very near, dear and wise to me believes that we have miraculous powers of manifestation and creation. That we call to us exactly what we need when we need it.

Obviously I’m struggling with some fired-up issues, which is one of the reasons I wanted to attend Debbie’s talk in the first place. I felt pulled to be around other women and to be inspired. Debbie herself says it best:

“I’ve always been inspired by the energy of brilliant, dynamic, caring women coming together to create something more vibrant than what they could on their own. I live near the ocean on Martha’s Vineyard and call this my ‘rising tide lifts all boats’ theory.”

Yes! So, according to my friend, I created this event last night so that I could experience the rising tide. But what about all of the worry and self-doubt? Where’s that energy going? What’s it creating?

Un-Pause

…and then BLAM. A woman standing right in front of me, eyeing me with a hardy dose of skepticism and perhaps a little disgust quivering about her upper lip, says, “Soooo…what’s this ‘book’ about?” I told her, and I swear on my MacBook, she says, “and they want you to write it?” As if she was questioning Hitler’s ability to pen a benevolent history of the Jewish people.

The safety had disappeared, vanished. I wanted to call Superman and beg him to fly backwards around the Earth several times so that I could pull the fire-laced words back into my mouth. Keeping them safe…you know…inside.

And so it is…

I’m carrying two big bags around on my shoulders. One is full of the excitement and thrill of a dream being realized. The other is a sack of shit:  self-doubt, creative blockage, paranoia, isolation and fear. And when I walked into that room – both sacks were waiting for me to confront, absorb and choose between.

The good bag was warm and spirited – it led me to achieve my answer to #3 (What Do I Need?) – which is a stable, consistent group of women that meets regularly to share, support and inspire each other. I started forming it last night, and I can’t wait to get started. I seek community.

The bad bag was a mean, nasty, seething troll. Competition, greed, insecurity, doubt…they all live there.

I’m going with the good bag.

Whew!!! It feels good to say that out loud.

Who’s with me?

Image courtesy of anikaviro

Filed under Critical Copywriting, How To, Networking | Tags: creative writing, creativity, debbie phillips, inspiration, motivation, self-doubt, support, women, women on fire, Writing | Comments (28)

Miles of Human Kindness

Just when I really needed it, I walked into a bastion of human kindness. A place where the human spirit prevails.

I’m talking about the Boston Marathon – which I’ve been lucky enough to witness eight times in my life. This one being the most special because my baby sister-in-law was running.

The kindness starts with over 500,000 people that line the course from Hopkinton to Boston. Family, friends, supporters, fans – of the runners, of the race and of Boston and its community. People set up stands with orange slices and band-aids and water. And we cheer until we can’t talk anymore – calling out names that are taped or written on runner’s shirts. Clapping, whooping, kissing, singing…

The runners themselves symbolize bravery, perseverance, steadfastness. They train, they sacrifice, they feel pain. They’ve made a decision and they follow through to the best of their abilities. No matter how they make it to the finish line – sprinting, jogging, injured, walking, carried. Moving forward because they’re telling themselves to. Because they want it.

• Like three-time cancer survivor Julie Wescott, 33, of San Diego.
• Like Stan Vancelette competing in his 33rd consecutive Boston Marathon at the age of 72.
• Like 48 year-old Paul Gaunt, who suffers from Parkinson’s disease.
• Like father and daughter duos. School running Teams. Co-workers. Old friends.
• Like my Megan who ran in honor of her grandmother and decided simply, “I’m going to do this.”

Every year a good number of race participants run for a cause, raising money for disease research or another cause. And the 113th running of the Boston Marathon was no different…but there were some that stood out.

• I saw a man run by with a good sized wooden pole rising out from a belt around his waist. Waving a few feet above his head, an American flag – and over that a handmade flag that called out the ongoing tragedy in the Sudan.
• I saw a Dick Hoyt pushing his son, Rick, in his wheelchair – a father son duo that trek the 26.2 miles every year. The cheers from the sidewalks lifting in a loud wave of recognition. And love.
• I saw a woman running blindfolded, her arm linked to her friend’s and then her husband’s. Her shirt said, ‘Running for Sawyer. Perkins School for the Blind.’ Her name is Leslie Nordin and she raised $30,000 on behalf of her son and his school.

Human Kindness. Self-sacrifice. Doing something, no matter how uncomfortable to help someone else. Reaching a goal. Accomplishment.

Good reminders, eh? I’m a humbled witness.

Props to the Boston Athletic Association for being so tech savvy that you could track runners online and even have updates texted to friends and family.

Filed under News | Tags: boston marathon, inspiration | Comments (5)

Old Eyes, New Place. New Eyes, Old Place.

Image by Jeky

One of the things I love most about writing is the concept of laying my eyes on a familiar (to me) place, person or concept in a new way. But this week, I’m setting my old eyes on a new place or I’m setting my new eyes on an old place – depends how you look at it.

I’m in NYC, mostly Brooklyn. It’s by no means a new place to most people, but it is to me. And I find myself wanting to write about everything: the way the schools seem to sprout from the sidewalks – nestled between store fronts; the brownstones that look like they hold the most interesting people in the world; the way the drivers honk madly when your cab pulls over to let you out – even when they can easily get around you and be on their way; all of the people – every size, language, color, emotion, pace, relationship.

The newness is acting like a direct energy line to my brain, the creative part and the excited part. Besides wanting to write, this place makes me want to thrive, to move – fast. It’s an unexpected fount of inspiration – this melange of old and new, new and old. It makes me feel connected to the upward motion of our communities.

Where did your last unexpected inspiration flow come from?

Filed under How To | Tags: Brooklyn, creative writing, inspiration, NYC, Writing | Comments (6)

Brainstorm, no pen, lost forever

There are two things at play here: irresponsibility and intensive muse connections.

irresponsibility

Once upon a time, I would have an inspired writing thought (oft times in the middle of the night) and even if pen and paper were steps and moments away, I’d say…nah, I’ll remember it later.

And every time, every single time, I‘d forget that brilliant thought by the time I found the means to write it down.

There is no excuse for this people. Take action and right it down. I’m proud to say that I do it now – every time. I got to the point where I thought, ‘This is just irresponsible. My muse is offering me a gift and I’m just pissing it away.’ Why would I do that? Why would you do that?

The answer that springs to mind is self-worth. If you aren’t getting your tush out of bed at 3am (or handily leaving a notebook by your bed), you aren’t taking your writing seriously enough. You aren’t believing that these gems are truly important. And where’s that gonna getcha? What’s that all about?

intensive muse connections

Something very cool has been happening to me lately. Every morning when I head out to take a long walk with my dogs, about 10 minutes in, my brain starts writing. Posts, ads, client work, novels (not the whole thing, just snippets), big ideas. I’m starting to think the soles of my feet are directly connected to the creative chunk of my brain.

It’s incredible. I’m totally into it. Literally, this voice, my truest voice, just starts talking…it’s a stream.

Now let’s all review the first half of this post. (pause, pause, pause) Okay, you all with me?

I’ve been incredibly lucky because I’ve remembered most of these walking mind extravaganzas…but I’ve lost some nuggets.

But, I can’t stop and write while I’m walking or I wouldn’t get to walk – and these 30 minutes are all I get! So, I’m going audio – I’ve got a mini tape recorder. It’ll be glued to my palm tomorrow morning…can’t wait to use it.

other solutions?

I’m guessing some of you face the same issues…how do you handle it? What works? What doesn’t? Have any illegible middle of the night scribbles you’re still hoping to decipher – I have many…

UPDATE: I’m thrilled to tell you all that this morning was glorious. I set out with my tape recorder…realizing that now that I was armed and ready, nothing might happen – so I allowed that – and even thought of a whole post about it (coming soon) – but suddenly, BOOM – there came they idea – I hit record and just started talking – it felt unnatural for about 3 seconds – so I made a joke (yes, outloud), laughed heartily at my wit…and kept talking…I captured the post – and thought of more ideas while I walked and talked. Loving my little Radio Shack MICRO-44.

Filed under Blogging, Critical Copywriting, How To, The Business | Tags: copywriting, freelance copywriter, inspiration, Julie Roads, marketing writing, muse, writer's block, writer's tools, Writing, Writing Roads | Comments (25)

Open Letter to Barack Obama from Alice Walker

Alice Walker is, perhaps, the writer that I hold most precious, that I most revere. There are not words to describe this letter that she has written, not only to President Barack Obama, but to every person on this planet. Her wisdom applies to every single one of us – we’ve all overcome struggles (historically and personally), we all must live with grace and joy, we all must remember and care for those things that are most important. With humility and gratitude, I joyously share her words with you here.

Nov. 5, 2008

Dear Brother Obama,

You have no idea, really, of how profound this moment is for us. Us being
the black people of the Southern United States. You think you know, because
you are thoughtful, and you have studied our history. But seeing you deliver
the torch so many others before you carried, year after year, decade after
decade, century after century, only to be struck down before igniting the
flame of justice and of law, is almost more than the heart can bear. And
yet, this observation is not intended to burden you, for you are of a
different time, and, indeed, because of all the relay runners before you,
North America is a different place. It is really only to say: Well done. We
knew, through all the generations, that you were with us, in us, the best of
the spirit of Africa and of the Americas. Knowing this, that you would
actually appear, someday, was part of our strength. Seeing you take your
rightful place, based solely on your wisdom, stamina and character, is a
balm for the weary warriors of hope, previously only sung about.

I would advise you to remember that you did not create the disaster that the
world is experiencing, and you alone are not responsible for bringing the
world back to balance. A primary responsibility that you do have, however,
is to cultivate happiness in your own life. To make a schedule that permits
sufficient time of rest and play with your gorgeous wife and lovely
daughters. And so on. One gathers that your family is large. We are used to
seeing men in the White House soon become juiceless and as white-haired as
the building; we notice their wives and children looking strained and
stressed. They soon have smiles so lacking in joy that they remind us of
scissors. This is no way to lead. Nor does your family deserve this fate.
One way of thinking about all this is: It is so bad now that there is no
excuse not to relax. From your happy, relaxed state, you can model real
success, which is all that so many people in the world really want. They may
buy endless cars and houses and furs and gobble up all the attention and
space they can manage, or barely manage, but this is because it is not yet
clear to them that success is truly an inside job. That it is within the
reach of almost everyone.

I would further advise you not to take on other people’s enemies. Most
damage that others do to us is out of fear, humiliation and pain. Those
feelings occur in all of us, not just in those of us who profess a certain
religious or racial devotion. We must learn actually not to have enemies,
but only confused adversaries who are ourselves in disguise. It is
understood by all that you are commander in chief of the United States and
are sworn to protect our beloved country; this we understand, completely.
However, as my mother used to say, quoting a Bible with which I often
fought, “hate the sin, but love the sinner.” There must be no more crushing
of whole communities, no more torture, no more dehumanizing as a means of
ruling a people’s spirit. This has already happened to people of color, poor
people, women, children. We see where this leads, where it has led.

A good model of how to “work with the enemy” internally is presented by the
Dalai Lama, in his endless caretaking of his soul as he confronts the
Chinese government that invaded Tibet. Because, finally, it is the soul that
must be preserved, if one is to remain a credible leader. All else might be
lost; but when the soul dies, the connection to earth, to peoples, to
animals, to rivers, to mountain ranges, purple and majestic, also dies. And
your smile, with which we watch you do gracious battle with unjust
characterizations, distortions and lies, is that expression of healthy
self-worth, spirit and soul, that, kept happy and free and relaxed, can find
an answering smile in all of us, lighting our way, and brightening the
world.

We are the ones we have been waiting for.

In Peace and Joy,
Alice Walker

Filed under How To, News, Politics | Tags: Alice Walker, Barack Obama, inspiration, President Barack Obama | Comments (5)