Dead dudettes and some news…

Jonathan Fields wrote a snappy post about 10 Dead Dudes to follow a couple of weeks ago and asked me to write the companion piece about Dudettes, seeing as how I am one.

Here’s a snippet of the babes that made the cut:

5. Eve There’s a bumper sticker that I believe was written for Eve, it says: Well-behaved women seldom make history. Once upon a time, Eve had a choice, she could follow the rules or not. She chose to be a daredevil, truth be told. That serpent helped her get the hell out of dodge and pave her own way – a way filled with the good and the bad. Because, as all women know, being good is just plain boring (most of us like bad boys and if Adam was going to play the goody two shoes, by God, Eve was going to corrupt him). Follow Eve by being curious, by following your cravings and your passions, and – of course – by misbehaving. There are many books that talk about Eve, (sadly she didn’t leave us a personal account of what really went down) but you might want to start with the Old Testament (and make sure to read in between the lines).

7. Katharine Hepburn wore pants and wore them so well. She was the picture of poise, but she was fiercely strong. In a biz where smiling for the press and everyone else was box office gold, she was labeled box office poison for her unconventional, straight-shooting, anti-Hollywood attitude. She was outspoken, esoteric and had a sharp tongue. And none of this was softened by her refusal of make-up and pretty dresses. Still, she earned 12 Oscar nominations and four statues. On location filming African Queen, director John Huston spoke of how on their days off, he and Bogart would go hunting for lions and such, and how one day Hepburn asked to join them. “He described her as a “Diana of the Hunt” — utterly fearless — and able to shoot with the best of them.” Follow Katharine to go against all conventions and to be real – as in ‘not fake’ or hidden under pretenses or make-up (actual or metaphorical). Read Me: Stories of My Life

Read the full post…

Also…

Next Tuesday 4/6, I’ll be on Bonnie Marcus’ fantastic radio show, Head over Heels, talking about Blogging for Business. Do I talk like I write? Hmmm…this would be a good way to find out. Also, she’s going to take questions from folks via her Facebook page which could be highly entertaining except for the fact that I think the questions have to be about blogging…so it’ll just be highly informative.

And…

I’m heading off on a fabulous adventure for a few days. I’m not sure if I’ll be posting Friday or Monday – and I don’t want anyone to think I’m dead if I don’t. So consider yourself informed. Capiche? I will be in very, very, very good hands…(my own included, of course).

Image credit

Creating proposals that get you the job and are just generally awesome.

So, yesterday we were talking about the niche. But niche or not, when you want to get clients, you have to show them what’s on offer and make your case. Enter, the proposal. Imagine a sturdy, stunning document that you have at the ready to not only dazzle people with – but to show them that you mean business and that you’re professional.

Here are my elements for a successful, sensational, first-class proposal:

• Context. Set the stage, give stats, set up the problem(s) that you are going to solve. What’s the state of the union in the world of underwater basket weaving? Give your view.
• Why. Why does the problem need to be solved? Why is your solution the right one? Why is the reader missing out if they don’t solve it?
• Offerings. What are YOU going to do, how are YOU going to solve this problem for them. Tell them exactly and clearly what you will do for them.
• Prices. Get to the good stuff or get off the stage. You can tell me all about the world’s best toaster, but if it costs $1000, I’m outta here – so simply tell me the price so I can decide if I’m in or if I’m going to just eat cold bread.
• Who are you? Give the background about yourself and/or your company, show that you’ve got the goods. And don’t write your life story – only include information that is pertinent to this proposal. They only care that you’re good, have credentials and aren’t crazy. They don’t care that you once won a pie eating contest (unless you’re pitching Hostess).
• Who do other people think you are? This is the place for testimonials and/or stats and results from your previous work to date. Humans are pack animals, so if we see that other people think you’re stupendifying, we’ll assume that it’s true.
• Case study. Walk the reader through a real life example of what it’s like to work with you. Let them live life with you for a few bullet points.
• Portfolio. Show us what you’ve accomplished and show it proudly. Links, screen shots, you name it.
• Length. We all struggle with the Goldilocks syndrome here – looking to get it just right. Here’s the thing: it needs to be full and complete, you’ve got some ground to cover. So can you do that in a way that doesn’t look like you’re writing the great American novel? Big fonts, headlines, sub-headlines, pictures, different layouts and bullet points all help here. Make it easy for the potential client to get in, get the info they need and get out. Don’t make them feel like they have to read every word – because they won’t and they’ll be annoyed by the assumption that they should.
• Proofread. I couldn’t not say this. I know you will – for typos and content clarity. Tricks: 1) read it out loud as our minds like to make misspelled words look right, and 2) give it to a different and fresher pair of eyes to read through as well.
• Make it purty. If you’re still using a PC, you’re kind of screwed here. I kid, I kid. But seriously, creating a presentation in Keynote (via Apple’s iWork program) is the equivalent of giving a 3 year old one of those painting books where you rub a wet paint brush over the paper and the Mona Lisa appears. In other words, a good design/presentation program even makes someone artistically challenged, like me, look brilliant. Find a computer program that formats and designs beautifully, OR hire a designer to do this part for you. It’s worth it. (and I know a few, so just ask me). And, if you aren’t a writer, hire a writer to write the proposal for you (I know a few of those as well). Because remember: people really do judge you by your looks. It’s a shallow, shallow world out there.

…but hopefully that means someone will pluck your proposal out of the ankle deep waters.

Have some additional proposal tips, favorite design platforms? Please, by all means, add them in the comments below…

Image credit: Derek Purdy

Right-sized

I don’t want to let you all down, but I have to tell you that I have a flaw – (yes! just one) which, to be perfectly honest, I could spin into a talent were I pressed to do so.

You see, I have a knack for making things bigger than they are.

How is this a talent?

Well, it’s a sure sign of creativity and a vivid imagination, both of which you’d want to see in a writer, yes? And, by making minor things major, I can easily distract myself from really critical things that would suck to think about. (See how that works? It’s kind of like reverse psychology or Massive Distraction Disorder…or something).

How is this a problem?

Oh, dear…let me count the ways. Primarily? It’s about self-induced stress and causing mountains of unnecessary, waste of time pain. Here’s how it works – your friend Sue tells you that her dog has Kennel Cough. And YOU:

1. Wrack your brain to remember the last time your dog was at the kennel.
2. Remember it was only 3 weeks ago.
3. Try to recall whether or not the dog has been coughing.
4. Assume he is, right now, hacking up a lung.
5. Shiver and shake at the memory of how much it costs every time you take the damn dog to the vet.
6. Realize it’s the end of the month and all of the bills are due.
7. Start panicking about money.
8. Worry that if you lose a client this week, you won’t be able to pay your bills.
9. Find that Huffington Post article about the average number of middle class families that can’t pay their mortgage.
10. Groan at the thought of having to relocate to Topeka to live with your parents because you lost the house.
11. Pop a Xanax.
12. Pop another for good measure.

Oh, yes, I could keep going.

A dog, not even your own, has a cough. A cough!!! And now, you’re having a full-blown panic attack about living with your mother in Kansas!

Why?

Because you haven’t kept it right-sized – you made it wrong-sized, super-sized. Step away from the story and walk back up that 12 step ladder we just slithered down (into hell). Go back to the first moment. A dog has a cough? Oh, maybe you should call the vet and make sure your dog’s kennel cough shots are up to date. Great idea! Now finish your lunch, enjoy it and then move on to the next thing. In other words, stop and look around at reality.

If someone told you that you could reduce your stress by, let’s say 75%, wouldn’t you jump at the chance? Me too. So when a situation presents itself – say there’s a lot of traffic on the way home – I’m doing my best not to write a rapid-fire story that leaves me with a terminal disease. I just call the family, say, ‘Hey, I might be a little late’, put on some good tunes and dance my way home. Perfectly sized.

If you think you need a little help ‘sizing’ your life, I highly recommend you call the best life coach in the universe.

Image credit: Editor B

Go get it.

I had the good fortune of meeting Chris Brogan on Tuesday night…and to listen to him tell story after story, all of them heavy with hidden ideas and more than a fair bit of laughter. One in particular keeps playing in my head…

Chris’ phone rings and he answers. A pipe fitter or roofer or something of that nature is on the other end, chewing his dinner loudly into the phone.

In between chomps, slurps and smacks, he tells Chris, “Someone told me I should call you.” Chew, swallow. “That you might be able to help me.” Burp, gulp. “Do you think I should have you help me or should I invest in some of those door hangers (I would call this door knob spam – see picture to the left)?”

“Door hangers,” said Chris. “Go with the door hangers.”

There’s an obvious lesson here about saying no. That even as freelancers or starving artists, and even in these dismal economic times, it’s important to just say no to the guy chewing in your ear, the guy that doesn’t get it. And by ‘it’ I mean: you, what you do, the value of your work and what he should be doing with his marketing money.

But, this story reeks of something else. Because when you sit around and wait for the phone to ring (not implying that Chris was doing that – this is an extrapolation, people), you’re likely to get some real crap. Or at the very least, you’ll get something passing as ‘okay’ but not what you really want. (Of course, a beautiful goose might also randomly waddle over, squat and lay a golden egg on your doorstep – but that’s another post).

I think Brogan’s story is a bit of a call to action. Who do you want to work with? What do you want to write? What do you want to do? Go get it. Make it happen. And make it happen the way you want it to. Seek, search, pull ‘em in.

Chris had a choice, and he took it. And those door hangers? I always throw them in the trash.

Image credit: CogDogBlog

Check out the latest interview on The Daily Norm: Alexa DiCarlo, Sex Educator, Sex Worker & Sex Worker Rights Activist

Chewing for discovery, part 2

It occurred to me this weekend, while I was getting gas for my car – if you must know – that there is a second part to the post I wrote last week about chewing your food (or completing your tasks) before moving on to the next bite.

The book, The Power Eating Program, maintains that if you take on the practice of chewing your food to liquid, you’ll find yourself actually choosing healthier food. Because when you eat food made from chemicals (processed, with ingredients you can’t pronounce, fast food, etc.), after the first few chews – when you actually dive down into the ‘food’ – you start to taste the chemicals or you taste nothing at all. Yet, if you chew a carrot, homemade lasagna, a piece of 70% organic dark chocolate, and chew it well, you’ll see that the flavors expand, transform and multiply right there in your mouth.

In effect, good and real food is the gift that keeps on giving and it just gets better. While bad and fake food is revealed and exposed to be, well, gross.

When we complete many tasks at once, we might lose the vision to see that some tasks are really fruitless, wasters of our precious time or simply not enjoyable because they’re just lumped in with everything else. But when we do one task at a time, we can really explore each task – and have the luxury to discover if it’s rich, complex and effective…or timeless, tasteless fluff.

Hmmm…food. for. thought.

Image courtesy of girlguyed

are freelancers really independent? because it’s the 4th of July

It’s July 4th, Independence Day here in the U.S. And here I am, tied to my computer, swamped with work while everyone else is at the beach – and wondering if I am, in fact, ‘free’ and independent. I made some lists, and the answer I’ve come up with is this: yes and no. Let me know what you think…

YES

• I am my own boss
• I can wear whatever I want to work
• My dog comes with me to the office
• I work in a beautiful post and beam shed in an oak and huckleberry forest on Martha’s Vineyard
• I can choose which projects I want to work on
• I can choose my clients
• I make my own schedule
• I eat popcorn for lunch almost every single day
• I can spend time with my family when I want to, not when the boss says so
• I had a meeting on the beach this morning
• I LOVE my work

NO

• If I’m not here working, the shop is closed, the cash flow is stopped
• I don’t have a substitute Julie to stand in or do the heavy lifting
• I’m addicted to my blog
• I’m addicted to my Blackberry
• I’m in love with my MacBook
• I have no vacation or sick time
• My dog is the only one in my office with me and he won’t answer my phone and can’t type
• I never turn away work
• I’m a workaholic

See what I mean? Yes and No. What do you think? Am I free? Are you?

freelance copywriting fee schedules: handling the money side of the business

Do you charge by the hour or by the project? Do you send estimates or proposals? When do you require payment?

After much trial and error, and the guidance of a fabulous mentor. I have some pretty solid answers for these questions. Here they are and my reasons why:

1. I charge by the project.

• This is for the sake of clarity. I found that when I charged by the hour, it ended up being an invitation to a negotiation. When I said something took 10 hours, there were questions (‘did it really take you that long?’) and I felt that my time and my work were devalued.
• A wise, wise person once said to me, “I build websites twice as fast as I did 5 years ago and my skill and experience levels have quadrupled. If I was charging by the hour, I’d be making half the amount for far better work.” This is a golden statement because it is so true. One of my strengths is my speed. Typically, I write very fast and charging by the hour would penalize me for this instead of honoring my ability to deliver high quality work quickly.
• Concepting time. Now who can place an hourly value on this most important part of any creative process? Sometimes I eat lunch, sometimes I read my favorite blogs, sometimes I walk my dogs, sometimes I write free form – but my mind is always working and suddenly, blam!, I’ve got it. The concept is there and the writing begins.

2. I send proposals. I found that when I sent an estimate such as 6-8 hours, clients set their sights on the lower number and again there was a lot of wiggle room. With a proposal, everyone is clear about what will be done and exactly how much it will cost.

3. I require payment before I begin any project. For one time projects, I require 50% before I write a word and then the final 50% at the project’s completion. For ongoing projects, like blogging, I require payment for the upcoming month before it begins. I know some people won’t send the final draft until they have the last check, but I haven’t had to go that far.

• As a freelancer these methods are critical to keeping the cash moving. I’ve had many projects where I’ve completed the bulk of the work and the client gets busy and hasn’t done the final proof…and on and on…until it’s been 8 months and I haven’t seen a dime.
• When working with a new client, protect yourself and get the money first. I hate to think the worst, but there are bad people out there who will take your work and then disappear. Of course, with established clients or close-knit referrals, you can bend this rule if you need to due to time constraints.

Have anything to add? The comment link is right down there…

do I need a copywriter? (prizes included)

Important question, here’s a questionnaire to help you decide:

1. Are you a start-up or are you adding a new product, service or branch to your business? If you are, you will need to create marketing collateral (content and design) to tell the world about your new venture. This can be done through a new web page, website, brochure, blog or with advertising and/or live and online social networking. And the content is critical: if people can’t easily understand and get excited about your new business – your announcement is useless.

2. Does your business need a face lift, a new perspective or a lifeline out of the 80′s? Using a professional writer is a great way to rehab your message and your marketing plan. If you can talk about what’s current, a good copywriter should be able to capture your excitement and expertise, add solid research and pull it together with their new perspective.

3. Are you so busy running your business that you have no time to market your business? A copywriting/marketing professional can handle this for you – and, I encourage you to let him/her. I’m a strong believer that people should do what they know. Why spread yourself thin trying to learn another profession…hire someone else to do that – your industry needs you right where you are.

4. Can you write? For many people, the thought of a blank page is Terrifying (yes, with a capital ‘T’). The stress it causes is bad enough…how about the time wasted while you stare at the computer and/or do everything in the world to avoid this writing task that looms heavily over your shoulder. (Think eating everything in the kitchen, watching 50 youtube videos in a row or playing online solitaire for five hours until you win.)

5. Do you think you can write? I hate to be harsh here, but…to quote one of my favorite movies, ‘Everyone thinks they have good taste and a sense of humor, but they couldn’t possibly all.” [First one to guess the movie, gets a prize - one of my favorite writing books of all time!] Same goes for writing – many think they can, and they can’t. Ask someone who will tell you the truth, better yet, ask a few people (not your mother). Get some honest opinions. If you can write, write. If you can’t write, call a professional copywriter.

6. Do you want to blow the competition out of the water? In the world of Web 2.0, content is critical. You may know your industry, but you have to be able to communicate with words to make the social web work for you – or to make any marketing effort work for you. A professional copywriter who understands social bookmarking, social networking and blogging, can take your business somewhere that your competition hasn’t even considered going. And, if they have gone there, well then, you’re still in the game.

7. Do you need a marketing department, but can’t afford to keep one? This is the beauty of freelance. You don’t need to pay the freelance copywriter’s vacation, health insurance and other benefits. This is fee for service, pay for what you get…whenever you need it.