Who needs statistics when we’ve got reality.

While many of my friends spent our junior year abroad in exotic places like Florence, Tanzania, Nepal, Paris and Argentina, I opted for the wilds of St. Louis, MO.

My main gig was volunteering at a domestic violence agency where I researched and wrote the organization’s history, taught dating violence prevention in local schools and worked on the 24-hour crisis hotline. And in order to do this terrifying and terribly important hotline work, I went through an intense and long training program.

• I learned why women stay in abusive relationships when it seems so obvious to the rest of us that they should leave.
• I learned that violence is a vicious cycle.
• And, I learned a number of statistics.

Most of theses numbers have stuck in my brain like gnarly, nasty pieces of chewed gum stuck under the lunch table – ugly to look at, hard to touch, easy to pretend they aren’t there. One of the stats goes like this: The day with the highest rate of domestic violence in the U.S. is Super Bowl Sunday.

Colts vs. Saints

Two days ago, as I sat at my computer working and occasionally watching the Facebook and Twitter streams of Super Bowl brouhaha pass me by, I found it hard to ignore this stuck-in-my-head statistic. I felt rising panic at what was likely going on as the Colts looked good…and then really bad, as the alcohol was consumed, as the chips ran out, as the bets were lost.

So, I put up a tweet and a FB status update telling people about the stat and offering up the number for the National Domestic Violence Hotline. 1-800-799-SAFE (7233), or 1-800-787-3224 (TTY)

What happened next utterly, totally and completely floored me.

Some women, women, came after me. They said the stat was bogus. One said, and I quote: “That is an unfounded myth propogated by the media and womens activist groups. Set the record straight.” (spelling/grammar errors are listed verbatim)

Can you imagine? Women-centric activist groups having the nerve to tell the world that on a day when alcohol, tension and the chance for losing large sums of money are high, there is a greater incidence of domestic violence? The horror. Don’t get me started on the idea that these groups have been lumped in with ‘the media’.

I’ve since learned there are many sides to the validity of the actual stat.

This comment also included the following quote, “On January 31, 1993, when Ken Ringle of The Washington Post questioned the information mentioned in the press release, other news media quickly retracted their articles covering the domestic violence story. The damage was done. The myth continues and Super Bowl Sunday is still sometimes referred to as Bloody Sunday, Abuse Bowl, a Day of Dread, and the Most Dangerous Day in America.”

The damage was done. Yes. Citizens of this country were once again made to look at the fact that women and children are beaten in their own homes every single day by the people who are supposed to love and cherish them. And how dare we disrupt Super Bowl Sunday with this blasphemy! Oh holy, holy day!

My question is, who cares about the validity of this stat? IS THIS WHAT WE SHOULD BE WASTING OUR BREATH ARGUING ABOUT? Domestic Violence is true, real, happening  - right now. And what made these women flare up against me and my status update about this? It confounds me!!! For heaven’s sake, use your breath to help someone, not squabble over what Snopes says!

And how can we believe that information from Ken Ringle up above. Hello? How many lies are we fed every day by industries with ulterior motives!?! I mean, do you really think Cheerios will save you from getting heart disease? PLEASE!!! The fight against the Super Bowl stat is based in the fact that it is a huge day for advertisers and TV: ‘Don’t fuck it up for us with your downer information, thank you’ is, I believe, their message.

My mom

My mother, bless her, has spent roughly 20 years of her life tirelessly working to bring awareness to and raise money for the ugly reality of domestic violence – and she isn’t done yet. Having retired from her role as Development Director, she’s now taking the training again so that she’s up to date and ready to again volunteer on the crisis hotline at Safe Connections in St. Louis.

In her training session this past Saturday (the day before the Big Game), someone (coincidentally) asked about the Super Bowl statistic. And the Director of the hotline said there’s a lot of discrepancy about the statistic. But that the organization personally tracks all of their calls, and every year, every year calls and DV reports spike on Super Bowl Sunday and the entire week that follows.

Statistic are hard to get. Especially when they surround an issue that people keep quiet, viciously undercover – so they don’t get arrested (the abuser) or so that they don’t get killed by their abuser (the abusee). Another stat: the chance an abused woman will be killed by her abuser if she tries to leave the situation increases roughly 75%.

What we do know is that an agency in downtown St. Louis, Missouri (middle America, right in the heartland) has their own stats. And they aren’t good.

If you or someone you know is being hurt, please reach out. Everyone deserves to be safe.

1-800-799-SAFE (7233), or 1-800-787-3224 (TTY)

Image credit: sinosplice

Blogstipation (and how to avoid it)

Cheers to Cassie Aiden for introducing me to this fabutastic word…

Blogstipation. Is it the inability to write blog posts? The back-up of so many good blog ideas? Or is it a blog that’s just not moving – no increase in visitors, pageviews, business?

Of course the term itself fits all three of these possibilities….it’s that good.

The inability to write blog posts

You’ve run out of ideas, you’re having a bad day, you’re simply out of juice.

1. Search the net, check other blogs. Chances are someone’s writing about something that either you could write better or their take on it is a 180 degree spin from yours…make it your own.

2. Walk away from your computer. Literally – take a walk, a bike ride, something to get out of your head and get creativity flowing through every limb again.

3. Don’t panic. Ask some folks to guest post, do some interviews – take the heat off of yourself and your muse.

4. Whatever you do, don’t just write something for the sake of filling your blog. People are less likely to leave you because of your silence than because of your pointless or crappy posts.

The Back-up

So many things brewing that you simply can’t get anything done or published.

1. Don’t let ideas back up in your brain, it’s very crowded already. Carry a notebook or a digital voice recorder or a smart phone to get the ideas out of the brain and into the world as they happen. You know, let it flow.

2. Make a list, schedule, calendar…and use it.

3. Hire a VA or other specialists (like writers, designers, techies, cleaners, bookkeepers, etc.) to help you get things done.

4. Prioritize. There’s bound to be something in that there should be done first. Do it…and get the ball rolling again.

The stagnation

Same number of visitors day after day? No new business?

1. Guest post somewhere else – preferably on a blog with readers who have never heard of you and need your services.

2. Use Twitter. Follow new people, build relationships, give good tweet by sharing interesting links and info on a wide range of subjects. (I ‘spose a little LinkedIn and Facebook wouldn’t hurt either)

3. Write an ebook and make it free and valuable.

4. Do some keyword research about your topic and find out what people are looking for…then give it to them.

If absolutely none of this works:

1. Shut down your blog. Maybe it’s just not your thing?

2. Add more fiber to your diet: get out there and experience life, learn more about your industry, go to conferences. LIVE away from your computer.

3. Take some blogging Pepto: Shot of Red Bull? Glass of Merlot? Shot of Tequila? Mug of green tea? Flask of hot chocolate?

4. Call me…a good friend, your coach or mentor. Sometimes we just have to talk these things through…

Image credit: Alexander Ekman

How to be effective

About a year ago, I was fortunate enough to see Karol Rose of Flexpaths speak. This burgeoning company, and Karol along with it, is changing the way we think about work, workstyle flexibility and life in general….and I’m thrilled to be writing for them. After I saw Karol speak, I wrote about her theory of work/life balance – which basically states that the quest for ‘balance’ is a myth and a recipe for heartache and stress.

Karol maintains that we should reach for work/life effectiveness instead, and this weekend I was the poster child for her theory.

Take a two year-old boy + a three year-old girl + a Blackberry/Mac/Writing/Blogging/Twitter obsessed mom and subtract my wife (you know, the reigning Mother of the Year champ) and put them together for 53 hours with no outside help whatsoever.

The perfect storm?

It could have been, but I took Karol’s advice to heart. I needed to be effective at home this weekend. So, I turned off my computer, ignored my Blackberry’s charming gong that tells me I have yet another email and sunk deeply and contentedly into my role as Mom…And I had the time of my life.

Sure, some writing ideas popped into my head and I scribbled them down. Once or twice I checked Twitter to see what was happening. But my mindset was all about home. I can assure you that if I had had the goal of getting a few work things done this weekend, we all might have imploded.

In this case, ‘balance’ was found by tipping the scales profoundly and completely in the direction of home.

Apply this lesson where you will. If you’d like to be effective anywhere, anyhow, anytime – Just. Do. IT.

Image courtesy of Zen

Free eBook – Finding Your Voice in a Crowded World: Personal Branding, Social Media and You

So excited about my new ebook that I wrote with Ron Miller for our Soc Media 101 site (tips & how-to’s for beginners). Actually, the idea for the book came first and the blog formed around it…

Finding Your Voice in a Crowded World: Personal Branding, Social Media and You takes a look at how you can make yourself stand out when everyone’s hopping on the social media train. And you get two perspectives: my marketing/creative writing perspective and Ron’s technology/journalism perspective.

Read it, Enjoy it, Pass it on…(and thanks for being such wonderful blog readers and commenters!)

Click the book, get your free download!

Social Media Tips and How-To’s for Beginners

Social Media Quadrupled My Business Last Year

When people talk smack about social media – calling it a waste of time or a fake world – I just smile. “Go ahead with your bad self and your bad attitude,” I say. “Social media helped me quadruple my business last year.”

The relationships are real. Most of the people are genuine and kind. Because the social media world is growing so fast, there’s room for us all to learn, thrive, fall down, get back up…and everything in between.

Social media has increased my exposure * given me opportunities to write in some awesome venues * provided new jobs * helped me grow as a networker, writer & business woman * offered new speaking opportunities…and introduced me to Ron Miller.

Click and Clack

Do you have anyone in your life that you share a brain with? I met one of those people on Twitter. Ron and I can’t remember our first tweets or how we connected so instantly – but we did. Complementing each other perfectly with all of our opposites:

• He’s a guy/I’m a girl
• He’s a tech geek/I just like that things work when I plug them in
• He’s a journalist/I’m a marketing writer
• He’s old/I’m not

And, before long, we became trusted colleagues, attached at the Skype-hip, editors & thesauruses for each other, confidants, sentence finishers, virtual office mates…and now partners. I’ve lost count of the number of times that we’ve IM’d each other the exact same thought at the exact same time.

Why Am I Telling You All Of This?

The ‘social media is good’ part is because some people still haven’t engaged. Why? Because they’re scared and intimidated by the LinkBooks and the FaceINs, not to mention the Tweetering. And I think that’s a crying shame. It’s all doable if someone helps you do it.

The ‘Ron Miller’ part because our first partner venture is the creation and launch of Soc Media 101: a blog about social media for the beginner. Full of how-to’s and tips from Ron & I and an exciting gang of guest posters.

So…check it out:

• Digestible info if you’re a newbie.
• Great place to point the unfamiliar, the scared and the unconvinced
• Guest possibilities for the well-traveled.

And stay tuned for everything else we’ve got cookin’!

Image by our fantastic designer, Shauna Callghan.

Skittles Opens Itself Up to a Rainbow of Possibilities

First we had Brangelina, then Zanessa…and now, Twittles.

In what’s being described as everything from brilliant to idiotic, bold to ridiculous and a logistical nightmare to a goldmine, Skittles moved its ‘usual’ website information into a 3 x 3″ floating box and has made its entire site a Twitter search page.

Did you get that?

When you go to skittles.com, what you see is a live Twitter search results page – the term being searched, of course, is ‘skittles.’ Off to the side, in a bright, red box, you can search into their ‘regular’ site with a seemingly standard navigation…or so you might think.

Their ‘friends’ page takes you to their Facebook page. Their ‘products’ pages go to Wikipedia (which the wiki notes sounds like an ad and not an article). The ‘media’ page, of course, goes to their YouTube channel. And, while the Twitter search page is set up as the ‘home’ page, it serves double-time as their ‘chatter’ page.

I’ve got to say that I’m leaning towards brilliant here. Though I feel terrible for their copywriter – s/he just lost their job. The site will be forever changing and current. It certainly embraces social media. And it has many people talking – and I can’t remember the last time I even thought about Skittles – now they’re everywhere.

Too far over the rainbow?

But, people are wondering it they’ve lost their marbles. Skittles is candy, after all. And they’re marketing is hell-bent on destroying the minds and bodies of children everywhere. So now, if a child goes to the Skittles site, they can see all of the fun that the Twitter community is having by way of posting obnoxious tweets – just to see them appear on the Skittles website.

For instance, someone tweeted recently: Just opened a bag of Skittles and all I found was cat vomit. (or something like that) I’m not thrilled with how some folks are acting – but Skittles has given up anything that even remotely looks like control here…

Perhaps, when the brouhaha dies down, this idea will be a great tool – to show the world what the current Skittles buzz is in real time. It’s like Skittles’ own brand listening page. They sure are diving head first into the transparency pool.

I’m still wondering how they got away with making a candy that looks eerily similar to the M&M.

I can’t wait to hear what you think…

Oh, just helping out the Gov’nor

On Tuesday, Ron Miller was tweeting away – meeting new people, offering pertinent information – perhaps a little humor, when this tweet came across his screen:

What comes first? The social networking or the egg?

And by ‘egg,’ I mean ‘blog.’

Beth Harte and Geoff Livingston recently wrote a great article about weeding out the ‘carpetbagger’ social media experts. In their list of 25 things to watch out for, I agreed wholeheartedly with 22 of them – and feel quite strongly about the three I disagree with.

The first point: ‘First recommendation is to blog’ is tackled below – the other two (blog ghostwriting and personal branding) are coming soon.

I can see why it might not always be the right first step for every single person or company. But, I have a hard time swallowing the notion that blogging first might be a misstep for most people – or that its suggestion would make the suggester a ‘carpetbagger.’ I started with my blog and then walked onto the social media scene, and my chosen order was highly beneficial for me, both personally and professionally. Here’s why:

1. Slow, steady, safe pace. My blog gave me a quiet place to watch my ideas develop and be instantly published. At first, no one was even looking, then readers started to show up, then their comments arrived. I had time to find my voice and learn how to respond to people in this medium. If you haven’t noticed, social media happens fast – especially on Twitter – and jumping into the networking madness before I really knew myself online (or how ‘online’ worked) was not the best choice for me.

2. Reason to interact. When you first start reaching out on social networks, sharing your blog content is a great way to introduce yourself (and I don’t mean in a pushy, salesy way) – but it does give you something to say. Having written your posts, you’ve obviously formulated your own opinions on topics that you will now feel confident discussing. Also, as a blogger, you have a healthy dose of appreciation for the other bloggers out there and it’s something you have in common (writing, tech, design, functionality, etc.) to connect about.

3. Portfolio, calling card, resume. Your blog is all of these things – so when people check out your Twitter, LinkedIn, Facebook, (etc.) page or bio, they have a clickable link that immediately provides an in-depth look into who you are and what you do. When I go to someone’s Twitter bio, for example, and there is no site/blog listed, I have virtually nowhere to go – no way to connect, forge a relationship or network. In this scenario, there is only a small amount of information available that tells me what this person can do for me and what I can do for them. Personally, when I network, I want all of my talents and skills visible to maximize my connection possibilities.

4. Blogs, by definition, expand our ability to be found online. My blog is part of my social networking world. Before I even set foot onto a social networking site, I had built a community around my blog. Then, my blog and my social networking sites blended, merged and grew together – and they continue to do so. In fact, both my blog and my social networks feed each other via organic searches, as well as word of mouth. (people find my blog and then come to follow me on Twitter and vice versa).

A blog is a brilliant way to establish an online presence by letting the world know all about you and your thoughts on everything connected to your industry and area of expertise.

5. Blog as listening tool. I don’t care what your business is – you have to listen to clients, customers, colleagues, peers, the world to succeed. Otherwise you won’t know what they want, why they want it or how you can give it to them. Blogs are a great listening tool because you can ask questions, listen to comments and watch your stat diagnostics (what people are searching for and reading). Of course, social media is a great listening tool as well (would never suggest otherwise).

6. Freedom and ownership. With so many rules and guidelines, blogs allow you to publish, to own, to think your thoughts and explore without being at the whim of a publisher. Your own real estate is always a great place to start…didn’t Madonna start off by singing and dancing around the house in her underwear? Certainly not on the world stage.

And, at the end of the day, I love blogs because they allow for so many different opinions – no one has to be right or wrong, but the arguments can and should be heard and discussed.

What did you do first? Blog or social networking?

Do you feel strongly that one or the other should happen first?

Trees that make a difference and change the way we remember

Trees Instead, founded and run by Daniel Diaz (Civil Engineer) & Pablo G. Martinez (business grad), is a fantastic business that’s doing good in the world, one tree at a time, by planting trees as memorials, honorariums and gifts. I’m continually impressed by their work and generosity. And, since I found them on twitter, I became even more intrigued by the web and social media slant of their business – so I asked for an interview, and of course, they obliged. Here ’tis.

Writing Roads: How did you get started? What was your inspiration, motivation, raison d’etre?

Trees Instead: In 2001, a dear friend of ours passed away after a long battle with cancer. At his funeral, the family made the request to donate money to the American cancer society in lieu of Flowers. Instead, we decided to make a picture slide of all the good times we had with him. We noticed that our best memory was a camping trip we all did to a national park while in college. We called the park and had a tree planted there in his memory; we then made a certificate and give it to his Mother…she loved it. Then the funeral director who was present at that time asked us if we could do one for another family…the rest is HISTORY.

We noticed that the available services for memorial tree planting were very impersonal, so we did some research and made our business plan with the mission to have a service that would be elegant, original and sustainable. We put our savings in and 100,000+ trees later – here we are! We now plant trees in all 50 states, Canada, The Amazon & Israel.

Writing Roads: How do you use social media for your business? How do you use your blog? (I know blogs are part of soc med, but I just wanted to make sure you talked about both…)

Trees Instead: We are in the business of making green trendy & thoughtful, to position our service/product as a unique experience for both sender & receiver. We’ve found that social media is the best way to let people know about us. There are many tree planting companies, and they are in it for many reasons we are – the “end result of the service,” the satisfaction of going green & doing it in an elegant & original way. Blogs & social media engines like Facebook & Twitter allow us to get in touch with the people on a one by one basis and have a long term relationship that will end up with us positioning our service in their minds.

Writing Roads: Any thoughts on the importance of content to your business? (The writing in particular…)

Trees Instead: Well there is an ongoing debate about global warming and the need for sustainable living. We like to stay out of the debate. The extremists & alarmists about global warming are not doing any good for their own cause and those who think nothing is wrong are in lala land.  A business like ours enjoys the balance of doing good actions for the environment while facing one absolute truth: “Sustainable living is good for the wallet, the earth & future generations…. No matter what.”

Writing Roads: Do you have an opinion on the difference (benefits, hardships) of running a nonprofit web business as opposed to a for profit biz?

Trees Instead: We’re a not-for-profit because we like the freedom of decision we have with an LLC – there’s little bureaucracy. Nevertheless, we use our income not only to plant trees, but to find ways to make sustainable reforestation projects in developing countries. I admire organizations like the Arbor Day Foundation or American Forests, but I don’t want the government, a board, nor powerful activists telling us how to act, what to believe ad how to live our dream. We do miss the grants and goodies available to non-profits, yet we don’t want to be huge, just big enough to matter.

Writing Roads: Anything I missed that you want to say?

Trees Instead: Well, we really appreciate your generosity. Also, we like to support any group or cause that makes sense – our only enemies are ignorance & narrow minded people. Daniel is on the liberal side of things and Pablo is the Conservative, yet, we don’t let media or agendas dictate common sense.

Keep up the good work, Daniel and Pablo – knowing people like you exist in the world helps me sleep better at night…Thanks!!!

blog redesign: an advertising deal

Yes, you are still at the Writing Roads Blog, aka. Blogging Roads!

Last night my dear designer, Leslie Tane, surprised me by expanding my blog into three columns with a new theme called Amazing Grace, a lightweight, super-optimized WordPress theme packed with features (SEO, Adsense & Widget Ready) created by Vladimir Prelovac. I was thrilled as I’ve been itching for some more elbow room!

One impetus for this space-making was that I’ve been approached by several vendors looking to advertise. As many of you know, I’ve been on the fence about the advertising thing…or, at least, I was. Now, I’ve definitively hopped over to the advertising side.

Here’s why:

1. As long as I feel good about the vendors, why shouldn’t I provide them the opportunity to promote themselves.
2. I’m not forcing my readers to read the ads or click on them. This is optional and you won’t have to wade through them in order to get to the posts.
3. Okay, most people don’t say this out loud, but I’m going to: I work really hard on this blog. Why shouldn’t I receive support? There is no reason! I deserve it. You deserve it. We all deserve it!

A Deal for My Peeps

For the first two weeks (starting…NOW), I’m offering a deal on advertising. If you are connected to me on Twitter, Facebook or LinkedIn, or if you’re a friend of mine on Twitter Moms or Mom Bloggers Club, you will get 20% for one year.

125 x 125 pixel ad

• standard rates = $30/month or $324/year (10% yearlong discount)
• special discount price = $24/month or $288/year

125 x 250 pixel ad

• standard rates = $45/month or $486/year (10% year-long discount)
• special discount price = $36/month or $432/year

If you’re interested, please email me directly: julie (at) writingroads (dot) com. Payments will be made via paypal. Also, if you want to advertise, but don’t have your ad widget, I’ve got some great designers lined up that can help you with this, just let me know. Looking forward to promoting your business!