Blogging: And why you should really read your own

You know that post I wrote yesterday? The one where I talked about how I’m training for everything? Well, all of your wonderful comments have made it impossible for me to stop thinking about it.

And then two other things happened:

1. I lost my internet connection at my studio yesterday (still don’t have it) and spent hours trying to make it work, getting a new modem, being rude to people and just being generally pissed off. Oh, and working on things that didn’t need the internet. (Yes. I found a couple. They were under some long forgotten rocks.)
2. I had to go to the doctor. In the manner of: ‘I need you to squeeze me in, Doc.’ ‘Okay, come at 10, but we won’t actually see you until 12—and you can’t complain because we’re squeezing you in, you’re in pain and you will wait—and we know it.’

Suffice it to say, I lost some time doing what I was ‘supposed’ to be doing. And I didn’t like it. But then I thought, if I’m training for everything, then these two things—being offline and sitting at the doctor’s office—were either part of the training or what I’m training for…or both.

My first instinct was to be entirely pissed off at everything and everybody. I yelled at the Comcast lady. Okay, that’s a lie. I yelled at three Comcast ladies.

But as I sit here, managing to get all of the work done that I needed to get done after all—maybe even more expeditiously since time seems so precious—I’m thinking about taking some of my own advice.

I mean, just an hour or so after publishing that post, I was in the throes of being taken totally off-track by ‘life’ (as it were) and I forgot about my training, forgot that I was prepared, forgot what ‘everything’ applied to.

And after a couple of your comments came in telling me that what I wrote was ‘exactly what I needed to hear’…I thought, Huh. Maybe I should read that post. Maybe I should, gasp, listen.

What a novel idea.

And so I did. And I realized I was much better prepared for things not going as I wanted them to than I was giving myself credit for, certainly much better than I was behaving.

Which only goes to show you, the power of blogs absolutely extends beyond the writer and to the readers—and I mean way beyond and way to.

And…it was really nice spending time on the other side of the screen with you all.

Image credit: websuccessdiva

So, a bird flew into my studio…

Nope, not the beginning of a bad joke – it actually happened. And I wrote about it, of course.

Copyblogger got the post…and I’d love for you to fly on over there and check it out…it’s right up the Writing Roads blog-alley, promise.

Writing is a verb.

Having no idea that it was the title of what looks to be a cheesey self-help book, my beloved friend Susan, the shepherd, said this to me the other day: Love is a Verb.

“People can say they have a feeling, they can talk about it until they’re blue in the face (I love you. I miss you. I can’t stop thinking about you.), but it’s not real unless they deliver some action with it,” she said.

It’s true, you know. Think about it.

And then, think about this: writing’s the same. Yes, writing is also a verb.

On a fairly regular basis, I get emails, tweets or comments from people asking how I manage to run my business (ie. write and and concept/run social media strategies for a living) and write this blog every day. The real question is: how can I not?

Writing helps me:

• Clear my head
• Analyze past events
• Plan for what’s next
• Emote
• Energize
• Decompress
• Create
• Laugh
• Connect
• Communicate
• Hone my skills
• Cry
• Share
• Build my business

‘Writing is a VERB’ means that you can’t just talk about it. You also have to do it. Otherwise all of that talk means nothing. Or rather it means that you want to be writer or a ______ (fill in the blank), that you think about being a writer or a _______, but you don’t seem to have the balls to jump in. Or you’re too scared or too busy or too something. (and believe me, I have things like this too)

Does that sound harsh? It’s not really meant to – it’s just meant to remind us all that the means to the ends lie in the action.

This verb concept is a powerful reminder. A reminder not to be passive, but to go forth and DO.

What do you need to verbitize today?

Image credit: Arenamontanus

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Also, if you feel like hearing me wax poetic-ish on Blogging for Business and why writing is sooo important (and a bit on the Dragon Tattoo Campaign), the radio interview I did for Bonnie Marcus’ Head Over Heels show last week is live and ready for listening!

Surgically removed

On Tuesday, my baby girl, the fruit of my loins, is having surgery. I’ve been effectively not thinking about this for weeks. But now it’s right here, days away. It’s a supposedly easy, out-patient thing, but she has to go completely under – and, well, it’s surgery. And she’s so little.

She’s having surgery to have her adenoids removed because she can’t breathe and because we’ve tried everything else and because they’re causing her pain and discomfort and hearing loss and tooth decay and god knows what else.

So, I’m trying to find something good here in this situation – because to sit around and worry is, well, really stupid. And here’s what occurred to me. There are times when I have tried everything, when I’ve explored every option – but the pain and discomfort and god knows what else is still there.

How cool would it be if surgery were an option for me? There are some things I’d like to have surgically removed. Like my knack for procrastination and people that don’t use their turn signals and the scarcity of time and my intense need for Vanilla Coconut Bliss with carob powder smushed into it.

I’d love to have those things hacked off. Or sucked out. Like liposuction.

In one of my favorite movies, Someone Like You, Ashley Judd goes to the doctor and asks him to remove her amygdala  – the part of the brain that retains sense memory – because every time she smells laundry or vanilla it reminds her of her ex-boyfriend and she’s thrown into a tailspin of heartache. It’s a fantastic scene. Raise your hand if you can relate.

What about you? What would you have removed? You know, if you could do it painlessly, easily, with no recovery time required – oh, and, of course, if your health insurance would cover it.

Image credit: aesop

Having the last word

There’s something that’s always intrigued me about Carrie Bradshaw. I mean, there are many, many things, but there’s this one in particular. (In case you’ve been living under a rock, Carrie’s the main character on a little show called Sex and the City where she writes a column for a New York City paper.)

She writes about sex and being single and dating in Manhattan (and occasionally some other boroughs). She writes specifically about her experiences with sex, being single and dating in Manhattan. Her experiences. Which means that her column is a tidy, often hilarious and always poignant take on what’s happened to her and around her. (Um, yes, I’m writing in the present tense, they are making the 2nd movie as we speak and talking about a 3rd, so she’s alive and well as far as I’m concerned.)

But the best part (and the intriguing part) is that she gets the last word via her column. Every time. Every single time. (To quote her in Season 4 – if you actually name the episode in the comments below, you will be rewarded somehow.)

Worrying about Tom, Dick, Harry or Jane

When I was writing about finding voice and speaking with authenticity the other day, it occurred to me that when you talk candidly, you might rub someone the wrong way – you could even hurt them. For instance, I offended people with small dogs. But Carrie never seems to let this cross her mind. You never once hear her say (over the course of 6 seasons and 1 movie), ‘maybe I shouldn’t write that because Tom, Dick, Harry or Jane might read this’. She’s unapologetic in her forthcomingness. And, I might add, she also happens to be an exceedingly nice person.

Yes. I (kind of) know it’s fiction. But I’m a writer and a dreamer, so I can’t help but think about those poor characters opening the paper and reading about their relationship failures or their small (well, you know) or how they tried to suck Charlotte’s face off or about how they broke up with Carrie on a post-it note.

Tying it up

This heroine seamlessly wraps it up, sticks a bow on the end and closes her laptop. How glorious is that?

It doesn’t necessarily mean that she’s no longer happy or pissed off or sad or mulling it over. Though I can only guess that having the last word helps with some of that. We, writers, know that writing it down – last word or not – is therapeutic and critical. But, as writers, as bloggers, as journalists…do we always get the last word? Or is that just the ‘stuff’ of really good cable TV?

Image credit: Kill Pop

Shut your nose.

When I was pregnant, I had a serious problem with smell. This wasn’t completely out of the ordinary – other women get like this too, but it usually goes away after the first trimester.

Mine didn’t. For the 35 weeks that I carried that little sucker, I could not stand to smell anything. Perfume, my basement, my dogs, rain, grocery stores (really anything besides guacamole), one sniff and I tossed my cookies – so to speak. It was when I was pregnant that I unearthed the real reason that most kitchens are designed with the fridge within spitting distance of the sink.

My personal fix for this issue was to keep my nose closed, completely shut down. And this was when I came to discover that I have my very own super power.

Apparently, most people can only close their nose by holding it shut with their fingers (or a clothespin – but that really hurts). But I can do it without my hands. I can’t even explain it – the how or the muscles involved. I can just do it. It’s like I have a nose switch or something. I’m doing it right now. And you can’t even tell. I still look like I do when my nose is open. If any of you are thinking this is no big deal (which is what I originally thought), then you are special too – but, at this point, I’ve so many people tell me this is extraordinary that I’ve come to accept that it is true.

I should probably have t-shirts made. With a big nose on the front. The back will say, ‘I can shut it.’

As a writer, it made me think about what else needs to be shut at regular and excruciatingly important moments and how, all the while, we need to still look the same, equanimous even, to the outside world. Let’s see:

• Our mouths when a client wants us to ‘add flowery language’
• Our doors when people that wish us harm come knocking
• Our computers/smartphones when we need to be human and interact with others
• Our insecurity when we’re pitching a proposal or naming our fee
• Our egos when we’re writing for someone else
• Our doubts when we’re writing for ourselves

And some things must remain open with poise as well:

• Our minds
• Our hope
• Our relationships with those that mentor, adore and support us (and us them)
• Our desire to learn, stretch, expand and grow
• Our capacity to write about different things
• Our ability to write in someone else’s voice
• Our tolerance and acceptance of different perspectives
• Our stream, our flow of words, thoughts and ideas
• Our belief in ourselves

Image credit: mag3737

Try This One! No, Try This One! No, Try This One!

Let me preface this post by saying that I am also sick of talking about kidney stones, but they’ve been the topic du jour in my body for some time now…so, that’s what I’m serving here today – kidney pie. If you will.

Try This One! No, Try This One! No, Try This One!

Here’s the thing. I’ve been to the emergency room twice and a urologist once in the last 48 hours. And I watched something happen that was just so shocking. It looked something like this:

Doc: Oh, you’re in pain from the stone? Here’s some pain medication!

Me: My stomach is killing me from the pain medication.

Doc: Oh! Take Tums and Zantac! But watch out for the side effects to your liver…

Me: I have a rash from the pain medication.

Doc: Oh! Take Benadryl! But it will make you really dizzy and you can’t drive or ….

Me: I’m nauseous from the pain medication.

Doc: Oh! Take Zofran! But you can’t use it long term because…

Me: I’m constipated from the pain medication. (Too much information? Sorry, I’m proving a point here.)

Doc: Oh! Take Colase! But it might make you have really bad diarrhea and can dehydrate you…

Call me crazy…but does anyone else here think there might be a problem with the pain medication? And why is it okay to solve the problem of the pain medication with something else that will likely cause new problems?

As I lounged around on my skinny little hospital stretcher, in a gown that refused to stay on or closed, I promised myself not to ever run a business on the western medicine model. How do you get anywhere by throwing band-aids all over the place and not addressing the real problem? Or, even worse, creating new ones?

Imagine if you came to me for web copy:

You put it up on your site, and then called me and said, ‘Every time the name of my business appears on the site, it’s in neon green. Can you help?’

And I said, “Oh, that’s the host’s fault. Try this new host, it’ll take away the green, but your site will probably crash every other day.”

Wouldn’t you run away screaming? Or have we surrendered to the fact that everything has problems, and we just have to walk around putting on band-aids…and hoping that the liver damage, dizziness and dehydration are the better option.

What’s that saying? What doesn’t kill us only makes us stronger? Yeah, that’s the one…but, it’s not the one for me.

Let’s talk about solution, prevention, looking at every angle, hearing the whole story. Just thinking about it? I feel better already.

Image courtesy of Mr. T in DC

By the way, I am not a doctor, nor do I play one on TV. None of the items in this post are intended to be help cure, alleviate or prevent any of your health problems, nor can I verify that they are medically accurate – I was on pain medication as these events occurred.

One Flu Over the InterNest

So, I got the flu. And, besides the obvious bummerosity of feeling like (for lack of a better word) crap, I have to deal with the issues that surround being a sick and incapacitated freelancer and business owner while the rest of the world swirls on.

As a freelancer or owner of a business where you do most or all of the work, it’s quite smart to have a plan in place to protect yourself in the case of illness, injury, computer malfunction or any other catastrophe you care to imagine.

The Pitfalls

• We can’t call in sick and rely on our co-workers to pick up the slack.
• Our work is usually time sensitive and firing rapidly without a lot of downtime.
• We don’t get paid sick time, so if we don’t work we don’t eat (ish).
• When we literally can’t work, or at least not at our usual speed, the aftermath when we finally can will be piled higher than Everest.
• Personally, I loathe sitting around doing nothing. You?

The Solutions

• When it’s an emergency, talk to your colleagues. Whether they help move things along, contribute significantly or take over the project, your client is the most important consideration. In other words, get the job done if you can.
• Along the same lines, you might have a colleague that you trust so much that you create an agreement to help each other out in the event of such a situation. Make sure this agreement is fair and makes sense to both of you. (Don’t sign on for this with a chronically ill person if you never get sick, for example).
• Remember that you’re only human and take care of yourself. Most clients will understand that we all get sick (or that life happens) and will provide some leeway. My father seems to believe that you use as much energy thinking as running around, so you have to do the deep sleep to recover. (I’m currently not listening to him.)
• It never hurts to have some non-time sensitive blog posts waiting in the wings, so that your blog doesn’t show a huge, gaping hole while you’re using your using your minimal coherency to work on client projects.
• If that little voice calls to you and tells you to get work done ahead of time, listen to it. I swear it knows that illness or roadblocks are near.
• Then, there are always the preventive measures: get enough sleep, eat right, take your vitamins, laugh and enjoy life – all as a means to build your immune system.
• And, of course, this too shall pass. Sick, better. Busy, looking for work. Overwhelmed, under-stimulated. This is all part of the ride.

Add your tools and ideas in the comments below, if you would. I have this feeling that I’ve forgotten something really obvious, but I have a good excuse – it’s called the flu.

Image by melyviz

Your Personal Brand Doesn’t Belong to You

No matter how hard you work to build your personal brand, it won’t be airtight. Not everyone will get the impression you’re hoping to express.

Do you remember English class back in the day? One of my all time favorite teachers, Miss Riddle – swear to god, ask my mother – is the one that first implanted the concept of poetry on my brain. Not the rhyming or the rhythms – but the meaning of the poetry. And then, Dr. Puhr – the one who turned me into a feminist – explored the meaning of prose, of stories, of novels.

Both of these women showed me that, when interpreting someone’s writing, there is no one answer and essentially there is no wrong answer. The color purple could represent the heart of a woman, the ‘fount’ of a woman, bruises, emotion, the sky, femaleness. It could be just one of those things or it could be all of them, to another reader it could represent something that you and I – even Alice Walker – never dreamed of.

The analysis, the interpretation – all depends on us. As readers and be-ers, we attach our histories, our very souls, our experiences  to what we read and see. And from there we create our own understanding. It may not be what the writer intended – but it isn’t wrong. It’s real. As in ‘interpreter-based’ reality.

When you’re creating your identity for your self, your business, your work – you, just like a writer, craft your words and your message with a specific intention and meaning. But your clients and customers, just like readers, will bring themselves fully and without excuse to their interpretation of who you are and what you represent.

Your personal brand, therefore, is not singular or definitive – and I’d hardly call it your own.

Image courtesy of Earth and Eden

Selling apples? Talk to the oranges.

Picture courtesy of The Busy Brain

Selling Apples? Talk to the oranges: Finding networks, clients and customers in unlikely places

The craziest thing happened to me last week. I was on Twitter and met a smart, smart woman named Michelle Minch. She’s a home stager (helps design and set-up homes to increase their chance of selling) and I noted that she was part of the Active Rain Network. I’d heard about Active Rain and understood it to be an extremely well-populated, well-ranked and well-used social media network for people in the real estate business – it supports and is virtually built on member blogs.

As we chatted, Michelle suggested that I join Active Rain. I scoffed, replying that I’m not a realtor. And, well, let’s just that say that she proceeded to school me on the reasons I should, in fact, be there.

Turns out that just because I’m not part of the real estate industry, perhaps because I’m not, these folks are quite interested in what I have to offer. I’ve had a simply amazing time learning to use their network, being astounded by how well it’s built and how well the members use it.

The Numbers, The Numbers: as of this writing and in only 7 days, I’ve had 135 comments on 5 posts and 1,621 pageviews of those 5 posts. Wowzah! Serious, serious kudos to the Active Rain community for really participating in the conversation and supporting fellow members.

So, I’ve been chomping at the bit wanting to share this with you because there have to be more opportunities like this for all of us, right?

Here’s what I’ve summized so far:

• Look beyond where you’ve been looking to get your message out and to get new business. You’ve been going up? Go down. Left? Go right. Selling to the apples? Talk to the oranges. Promoting to the ladies at the beauty parlor? Check in with the sanitation department.
• Think of a group that could use your product or service…find out if they have a club, a network and join.
• Do you already belong to such a group? But you never thought of mixing business with pleasure or one business with another?
• As always, be human, showcase your expertise and your self. Example, I had a bit of fun on my profile bio – let’s just say, my ‘about yourself’ didn’t come dressed in a pants suit.
• Remember that this is a two-way street. Give to this new group and also learn from them, as they will do to and from you.

Have you had a similar experience? Do share…