Getting to write

I was working with a delightful blogger/copywriter-to-be yesterday in my consulting capacity – and she asked me this:

How do you get yourself to write everyday, how do you get yourself into the habit of regular writing?

1. You’ve got to love it…or at least love the rewards it will get you – if you don’t have a penchant for the writing itself. The endgame is important here.
2. Find your community. You (yes, I’m looking at You) are part of why I can’t wait to write and then publish here everyday. I revel in your comments and your tweets and your emails, in our connections.
3. I never force myself to write. If it’s not working, I move on to another project. Or I walk away from my computer. No one likes to be pushed. I don’t believe in writer’s block – I do believe that there’s a time and a place for everything. Sometimes it’s not your time to write – accept it and move on. It will come back. I promise. But it will take a LOT longer if you don’t just let it go for a bit, if, tragically, you insist that it happens.

And there’s one more answer.

So often when we can’t do X, it’s because we’re only thinking about X. And hence, we forget that we can do A, B, C, D….

I hate speaking in intangibles so, let’s do this: I wrote a post yesterday about making up a portfolio if you don’t have any ‘official’ writing samples. And Dave Doolin commented that it’s the same with programming. And I responded, ‘Isn’t it the same with everything?’.

The thing, the ‘X’ you think you can’t do is: make a writing portfolio, designing a website, baking a cheese cake, running 5 miles. But the how is the same: you do it one piece at a time, you ask others for help, you follow directions, you jump in, you PRACTICE, you realize you should hire someone else to do it.

The Point is this: the WHAT isn’t important. It’s the HOW that matters. And you already know how to do the HOW – you HOW all the time. Sometimes easily, sometimes with a bit more sweat and grit.

So, when it comes to writing…

….there must be other ‘things’ in your life that you do on a regular basis with ease and joy.

• What are they?
• Why do you like them?

Now: apply those answers to writing, blogging, your business.

Here’s how I do it.

4. For the love of Running: It gives me a sense of accomplishment to finish my course. It makes me feel strong. I thrill at saying hello to other runners along my way. I like the rhythm of my foot falls on the road. Writing Translation: I get a sense of accomplishment when I finish a post. I feel strong and smart after I’ve written. I thrill at saying hello to my online community…and I love the rhythm of my finger falls on my keyboard.

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FYI: You may have noticed a new button up there at the top of my sidebar, courtesy of the astoundingly good Amanda Farough. Check it out if you need some personalized juice or jumpin’ for your writing, blogging or other businessly pursuits.

Image credit: The Hamster Factor

Our web connection, my blog setup and your blog writing

Our Web Connection

They don’t call this a web for nuthin’. We’re all connected, sometimes in strange ways, by its invisible strings.

Seriously, the number of times that I write something, then read another post and blink with surprise that my message is right there on someone else’s blog wrapped up in different words – is astounding. The reverse is also true, just look at the comments in my posts – it seems at least once a day someone links me to a brilliant post they wrote that connects right in or exclaims, ‘I was just thinking/writing/talking about this!”

I absolutely love this. To me, it’s like the air around us is ripe with these ideas and we’re all just plucking them off the tree and making them ours. To share this brain and thought process with so many other people is like getting to swim in that pool with the pods in it in Cocoon – I think it actually feeds us and makes us better. Sometimes it even glows.

So, I was not shocked when I woke up this morning and saw Chris Brogan’s post on the necessity of purpose and focus for your blog, when I was sitting here with the guts of a post with a similar vein. My post is about my blog and about yours…

My Blog Setup

Well, really my whole site. Way back when I started my copywriting business, I thought it was all about the website – so I got one. And I loved it. When I quickly discovered the world of blogging, I dove in full force – for my clients – helping them write and leverage this platform for their own businesses. But I didn’t blog for myself.

Eventually, the uber-talented illustrator, Elizabeth Whelan – after hearing me go on and on about what blogging could do for a shared client we had, asked me where my blog was. Uh, er, um, well… She told me she wouldn’t speak to me again until my blog was up and running. THANK YOU, Elizabeth. I pulled a WordPress blog onto the writingroads.com site and my life hasn’t been the same since.

And then, recently, I’ve been finding myself in another one of these ‘do as I say, not as I do’ situations. I’m telling people left and right…

• to just build a blog, not a traditional website
• and add static pages
• for SEO purposes
• for ease of use, content management
• for UI (user interface) or VEO (visitor enhanced optimization)
• to use plugins for expansion and growth
• to maximize sidebar real estate

And the whole time, I’m eyeballing my blog with a sideways glance. The cobbler has no shoes, the therapist’s family is full of nutjobs, and yes, the blogger’s blog is out of whack.

So, finally, with the help of the lovely, Shauna Callaghan, I’ve redone my site – the right way. You might not even notice, because it’s likely you didn’t ever click on those typewriter keys up above that shot you over to the ‘web’site and off the blog. But now when you click on them, they keep you here whilst showcasing my work and services. And www.writingroads.com gets you here now as well (no more need for writingroads.com/blog). Ahhh…c’est fini! (besides the incessant tweaking I’m doing). My wish is that it’s easier now for visitors to know who I am and what I do…

What does your blog/site need? How can you tweak it so to perform better?

Your Blog Writing

The other thing on my mind is your blog. This morning, when I tweeted CB’s post about blog focus and purpose, I added this: “(and if you need help focusing/purposing, call me)” – and several people responded with messages that looked something like, “Please help me!!!” in varying degrees of agony.

So, I thought it was worth putting it out there, but this time here: I help you figure out the blogosphere by helping you answer these questions:

• What is my blog’s purpose?
• What is my blog’s theme?
• How do I define and rein in my scope?
• What do I write about?
• How do I write it?
• How do I focus my content and outreach?
• Should I talk to other bloggers?
• Which ones?
• How do I do that?
• What plugins do I need?
• What is a plugin?
• Do I need to use Twitter and Facebook?
• How do I ______? (fill in the blank)
• …and on and on.

Let me know if you need help…after all, with the way this web connectivity thing is going, you were probably just thinking about all of this anyway…

Image credit: Jeff Smallwood

Writing is a verb.

Having no idea that it was the title of what looks to be a cheesey self-help book, my beloved friend Susan, the shepherd, said this to me the other day: Love is a Verb.

“People can say they have a feeling, they can talk about it until they’re blue in the face (I love you. I miss you. I can’t stop thinking about you.), but it’s not real unless they deliver some action with it,” she said.

It’s true, you know. Think about it.

And then, think about this: writing’s the same. Yes, writing is also a verb.

On a fairly regular basis, I get emails, tweets or comments from people asking how I manage to run my business (ie. write and and concept/run social media strategies for a living) and write this blog every day. The real question is: how can I not?

Writing helps me:

• Clear my head
• Analyze past events
• Plan for what’s next
• Emote
• Energize
• Decompress
• Create
• Laugh
• Connect
• Communicate
• Hone my skills
• Cry
• Share
• Build my business

‘Writing is a VERB’ means that you can’t just talk about it. You also have to do it. Otherwise all of that talk means nothing. Or rather it means that you want to be writer or a ______ (fill in the blank), that you think about being a writer or a _______, but you don’t seem to have the balls to jump in. Or you’re too scared or too busy or too something. (and believe me, I have things like this too)

Does that sound harsh? It’s not really meant to – it’s just meant to remind us all that the means to the ends lie in the action.

This verb concept is a powerful reminder. A reminder not to be passive, but to go forth and DO.

What do you need to verbitize today?

Image credit: Arenamontanus

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Also, if you feel like hearing me wax poetic-ish on Blogging for Business and why writing is sooo important (and a bit on the Dragon Tattoo Campaign), the radio interview I did for Bonnie Marcus’ Head Over Heels show last week is live and ready for listening!

The Sex and the City Guide to Copyblogging – (Copyblogger post)

Originally posted on Copyblogger

I’ve always been of the opinion that if Carrie Bradshaw had popped onto our television screens in 2010 instead of 1998, she would have been a blogger. But alas, she didn’t, so she wrote a (gasp!) print column for the fictional New York Star newspaper.

Yes, before there were blogs, there were newspaper columns – where readers couldn’t talk back or share good content. ‘Carrie the blogger’ would have been huge.

Though the words of Carrie and her cohorts have not been etched in permalink stone, their messages linger on. And despite the fact that Carrie was allergic to the internet and only used her Apple Powerbook for word processing her articles, the lessons, ideas and, more pointedly, the actual quotes that came barreling out of Sex and the City still speak directly to us Copybloggers.

“You sleep with someone, all of a sudden you start rationalizing all of the red flags away.”

Now, hopefully, you aren’t sleeping with your clients, readers or other bloggers (on a regular basis). Typically, the copybloggers’ dangling carrot (no pun intended, I swear) isn’t sex, it’s money….

Hop on over to Copyblogger to finish reading this post, yo.

(And I haven’t forgotten the non-hoopla post…it’s coming!)

Image credit: 22

Dang. Another Fork.

Remember in The Muppet Movie when Kermit and Fozzie are driving along and the map says there’s a fork in the road and they look up and there’s actually a huge fork sticking out of the ground? I frickin’ love that.

The frog and the bear were following directions, so they knew which way to go when they came upon this fork. But the rest of us aren’t always that lucky. Like me, today. I’m writing and everything’s going just fine and then I get to this place – it’s my fork in the writing road. And I have no map.

Suddenly, I have a choice. I’m writing about the importance of having community as a blogger – and I can focus on the virtues of the greater collective or I can highlight the benefits of having a few key people. There’s not room for both in my post, but the real issue for me is this: it’s hard to let go of either option. What if I pick the wrong one? How will I ever know what might have been? And, no, I do not have time to write it both ways and then pick. But, that’s a nice fantasy.

As I write this, I realize that the Zen take on this dilemma (Alisa – you’ve corrupted my conscience!) would be to embrace the fork not as a ‘split’ or an ‘either or’, but as a bastion of opportunity and abundance! “Wow – look at that,” I would say. “I can choose option A and then write another post about option B. Lucky me!” But, I don’t want two posts. I want one. The right one.

My July birthday makes me a Cancer, ruled by water and the moon and my emotions and passion. Apparently this means that:

• I cling (you know, with my crab claws).
• I have needs that want to be filled deeply and immediately.
• I have an aversion to failure and opposition.
• (Oh, and I don’t like to be told what to do. This has absolutely nothing to do with this my point in this post. I just like knowing that this isn’t a character flaw, but an astrological fact that is beyond my control. Can someone call my all of my teachers, K – 12, and let them know? Thanks.)

Back to my point, something happens to me psychologically (or metaphysically? or astrologically?) when I have to make a choice between two ideas. I clutch them both tightly – and when I finally choose option A, I feel like I’ve failed option B. I don’t like the disparity that is inherent in making the choice.

So, quite often I find myself staring at my computer screen – contemplating the death of a thread in a post. Interestingly enough, the Muppets give me a nudge out of this pothole at the end of the movie with their final song. It goes a little something like this:

“Life’s like a movie, write your own ending, keep believing, keep pretending…”

I think Kermit just told me to fake it till I make it. And I think Kermit just told me that I literally can’t get it wrong. I just need to choose…and keep driving.

How do you handle forks?

Image credit: Dcosand

Butter versus Margarine

Ham versus SPAM (the ‘food’, not the unwanted emails). Cheddar versus Velveeta. Labradors versus Dachshunds. Mac versus Dell. (sorry, that one just slipped out)

Do you see where I’m going with this?

I just got an email from my good friend, Andi (who writes a great blog about French things and other awesome stuff). Long story short, she’d done something pretty amazing for me and I’d thanked her. And her response began with 4 words:

Friends help friends. Period.

It’s true. They do. But only the real ones. The ones that fall under the category of margarine, SPAM, Velveta and Dachshunds? Not so much. Those ‘friends’ flee in times of trouble. They’re not quite there for you. You can see them standing there, but it’s through a veil of fog. There’s something missing, there’s not much to hold on to.

So, how do you tell the difference?

It can be tricky. Because (besides the Lab/Dachshund example up there) looks can be deceiving. But once you get in there and get the feeling for what you’re holding in your hands, putting in your mouth or talking to, there’s really no contest. The real and the fake show themselves readily. It’s hard to hide the plasticy taste of Velveta. To tell the difference, you sense it. You see, hear, smell, taste and touch. And feel it in your gut.

I think our writing follows the same map.

As a writing coach, people talk to me a lot about trying to be genuine in their communications. Should they be serious or funny? Should they try to use words they would never say out loud in conversation? Should they follow the step by step ebook they found that says you should use ‘these 10 words in every post you write and it will make you millions’? (Um, eww)

My answer is this: how does it feel? When you’re writing? When you’re reading it back to yourself out loud? When you’re reading it to someone else? Does it fill you up or collapse in your mouth? Does it sound like you or does it sound like someone else? Are you proud of it? Is your very essence oozing out of it? Does it make you tingle?

Start with you. Ask yourself these questions – and answer honestly. If you do and you act on the answers, you will find your voice, you’ll hit your stride. Then think about your reader. Because, they’re asking these questions too. They’re looking for real writers, real messages, real connections.

I don’t know about you, but I spread my butter high and thick on my bread. I’m drawn to it like hotdogs to a BBQ. And when I see margarine on the page? Click. I close the tab.

Image credit: nanio

That feeling…when you just KNOW.

Last spring, just before my mom joined us to be SuperNana for the summer, she told me she was ready for a new dog. We’ve always been a big dog family, and it had been way too long since my parents had one messing up in their house.

So, like any good daughter, I dragged myself, kicking and screaming to visit a litter of 5 week-old chocolate and black lab puppies. I know, it was a hardship.

I picked out the most perfect little girl. My mom arrived, we got to have a puppy all summer and then they left, heading back to St. Louis…until a few weeks ago – when a much bigger puppy came back for a long visit. Knowing how mothers and daughters love each other so, my mom really wanted to take Annie (the pup) back to see Katie (her mom).

The first 20 minutes was mayhem. There were a few other dogs there and everyone was just running and playing and barking and being all dog like.

And then, it happened. Something clicked for Katie. She grabbed Annie by the back of the neck, rolled her down on the ground and proceeded to sniff every single thread of fur on her body. Annie, who – I swear to God never stops moving – remained motionless on the ground for the duration if this sniffestigation.

I’m with you Katie. When you know you know. It grabs hold of you. It’s the sweet spot on the tennis racket. It’s fresh baked sourdough bread with a inch-high gob of deep-yellow butter on top. It’s meeting someone that feels like home.

It’s how I feel when I’m writing something really good. It’s like the idea grabs my mind and my fingertips and pulls me down a pipeline of bliss. Heart pounding, mind thrumming, I literally can’t get the words out the door fast enough. But still, I manage to sniff every single one of them before I let them go.

Holy bonus, Batman.

Something strange has happened. I’m about to call the EPA and have them check my water. I can’t think of any other explanation.

Here’s the thing: I’m ahead.

I’m not just caught up with my work, I have things done before they’re due – as in, in advance of their deadline. It’s not that I’m a slacker usually, it’s just that I love the thrill of the deadline, so I usually push each one to the limit. But this week, I’ve been like a machine. Can I tell you how many times I checked my calendar this week to verify that it was actually only Monday, then only Tuesday, then only Wednesday? A lot.

The Blank Page Route

I have a good friend that is going through a major life change. She’s at a crossroads with her relationship, business and geographic location. When we talked about what was going on with her, there was an invitation to discuss the horridness of the situation, to moan and groan and bellyache about it. But we didn’t. Instead we took the blank page route. Instead of desolation, there was nothing but open road and opportunity:

• If she could live anywhere, where would it be?
• If she could be with or without a relationship, which would she prefer?
• If she could be with anyone, what would s/he be like?
• If she could change anything about her business, what would it be?

What a glorious time we had creating and sucking.

The Bonus List

Today, Silas decided to leave our house and take some free time for himself. He was gone for four hours. I have no idea how he amused himself except that he rolled in something dead. The evidence is all over him. That doesn’t sound like fun to me, go figure, but it was his bliss.

When I realized how far ahead I was in my work today, there was an urge to pile more work on or, in a moment of pure insanity, search for the things that I’d forgotten to do and thus, send a wave of disappointment and reality upon myself as I realized that I wasn’t even close to being ahead.

But, I didn’t do that. Do you know what I did?

I made a list, I followed my blissful urges – the ones that felt good to just me. I played my own version of the Blank Page. Though I wasn’t at a crossroads, I was standing in front of an opportunity. What do I want to do with this unexpected open time? I asked myself.

• Write (whatever I want to write)
• Work on my new site The Daily Norm (which is soon to feature a fat interview with John Grogan (of Marley and Me fame any second now, so you might want to sign up for email alerts)
• Take an afternoon off and hang with my family
• Stand outside with my arms open waiting for the following things to drop into my arms: a book deal, a fat ghostwriting book project, a syndication opportunity for this blog, a lifetime supply of either guacamole or George Clooney
• Make a list of my ideal blog writing clients and go after them
• Write some more (of whatever I want to write)

I’m working through this list…with glee. And I’m curious to know what’s on yours.

Image credit: Fonzie’s Cousin

Check out the latest interview on The Daily Norm with The Bloggess, Blogger, Mother, Humorist.

The color blue to you, the color blue to me

Granted, I live in a place that is considered to be a vacation paradise. And granted, I used to feel that way when I didn’t live here. And granted, I still do feel that way some days, but having lived here for a couple of years, many days it just feels like ‘home’ or ‘the place that I live’.

So, I was shocked today when, as I was on my way to do something as mundane as possible (in this case, getting gas), I saw a woman contorting her body in the weirdest way in the fire department parking lot. What in the world is she doing? I’m thinking to myself. And then it became clear. She was taking a picture of the fire truck’s license plate. Not even the big fire engine, mind you, but the fire truck, the one that looks like a big red pick-up truck with a decal on the door…because that’s exactly what it is.

Back in the 80′s, Dennis Miller put out a comedy record called The Off-White Album. And even at the ripe old age of 15, the raunchy, sarcastic wit on this album did not get past me. No, sir. In particular and in one segment, he made rabid fun of pot smokers and mused about a stoner pondering life’s big questions in the midst of his dazed high. In the voice of an uber-stoned Bill or Ted, he asked “How do I know that the color blue to you…is the same color blue to me.”

I remember really thinking about that and freaking myself out a wee, tiny, little bit.

And I think that we can all agree that the woman with the camera in the parking lot today proves that Dennis Miller and his stoner were really onto something. Because to that woman, the license truck was picture-worthy, exciting, something to write home about. To me – cantankerously and jaded, perhaps – it was a dented piece of metal, just a license plate.

Can any two people look at the same object or have the same experience and feel, see, hear, smell, taste and analyze it the same way? Is a rose just a rose?

I’m going with no. (And if you do some research, you’ll see that Gertrude Stein didn’t think it was either.) It’s part of what makes writing (and reading) (and blogging) (and practically everything) so exciting – there are as many interpretations as there are fingers, eyes, ears, noses, mouths and minds. The experiences may be similar, but not the same. Even without the pot.

Image credit: atomicshark

Who’s telling this damn story anyway?

For me, there’s a major decision that must be made towards the beginning of the writing process. And it’s a grueling, soul sucking question. Why? Because I’m not sure there’s a right answer. I mean, it could really go either way, you could make either work. And, most awfully, by choosing one answer, you’re forfeiting the possibilities of the other. You could drive yourself crazy thinking about it.

The dilemma: Perspective: Who’s telling the story? Is it in first person? Third? If it’s in first person, is that person a main character or someone on the outskirts or is it the dog? If you go with first person, you only get one side of the story; but, it’s a deep, personal look. If you go with third person, readers get an omniscient view; but, that ‘in the character’s brain’ thing isn’t quite the same.

For the book I’m working on now, I’ve made the decision to go with first person. And the reason is that my main character, through whom the story is told, has to go through this process on her own. It’s her story, so we need to hear her go through it. In this case, it will be much more genuine. But maybe I’ll play with this a little as I go…

Some things to think about as you ponder perspective:

• Are you writing one person’s story? Or the story of a town, a group of friends, team, etc.
• Will the character be where you need them to be (physically in the story) to get the storytelling job done?
• Which character’s perspective will provide the most (or most appropriate) information for the telling of the story?
• Would it make sense to have different people tell the story in different chapters? One book that I love called The River Midnight by Lilian Nattel actually tells the same story over and over, each chapter has a different character tell the story. It’s brilliantly done. Their experiences are dramatically different, the solid events are the only things that bind them together.
• Will it help the story to hear from one person or to have an all-knowing narrator providing information?
• Write just one chapter and see which perspective you like more. You, as the writer, have to connect with the choice – otherwise it really won’t work.
• Why not flip a coin? I’ve made great decisions that way. If the coin flips the way you want, you’ll be thrilled. If it flips the wrong way, you’ll be upset and, boom, you’ll have your answer.
• Be creative. Who says you have to choose. Let other characters tell a few chapters if you need to. Or switch from third person to first as you move through the book. Do what works.

Because in the end, you’ve just got to trust your gut on this one…and let the story be told.

Image credit: Scottish Libraries