Quite dirty, Quite hilarious

It’s Friday. And because I’m so busy – with Dragon Tattoo (contest launches March 10th!), Geek Girl Camp (teaching SIX workshops tomorrow!), my best in the world clients and writing a new eBOOK (very, very excited about this) – that my brain just threatened to quit (or at least go on strike) AND because I want to make sure that you’re on top of the latest social media craze, I thought we could all use a little time with my boyfriend today.

FYI, depending on where you work, this might not be totally appropriate. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did.

(And, Jon – my love – I’ll be in the City at the end of the month, if you want to grab a drink. I take my vodka on the rocks with as many olives as you can fit in the glass. Oh, and, I love you.)

What’s security anyway?

I got a phone call yesterday afternoon. Well, first I got a message via LinkedIn requesting the call, then I got the call.

It was from a recruiter. Offering a very (very) high paid job at a company in Boston. For those of you who read this blog regularly and saw yesterday’s post, you can join me in a good laugh here: the position was to create and manage the social media department – wait for it – for a PR firm.

I know. As an old friend used to say, you just can’t make this stuff up.

It turned out that the job wasn’t right for me, the company’s looking for someone with strong social media experience and hands-on programming experience (HTML, Javascript, AJAX, XML, etc.) Which would be like asking me if I could write and do chemistry…which I couldn’t, can’t and, quite frankly, won’t. (If this is YOU, let me know and I’ll guide you right to this recruiter!!! And don’t let the Boston thing scare you, they’re even willing to pay for relo.)

Even though that particular job wasn’t for me, we got to talking – and said recruiter was very excited about what it is that I do, how I do it and why I do it. To be honest, I was excited about my answers too. And this confirmed that it would be sorta hard to woo me away from my present situation – owning my own company, being my own boss, freelancing and the randomness that comes with it.

Let’s be honest.

An actual job has some things going for it: a steady paycheck, health insurance, VACATION TIME, SICK TIME               sorry – I’m back, I think I just fainted for a minute there.

But, and it’s a big BUT – how secure would this job really be? As it stands, my success is entirely dependent on me. It’s a lot of pressure, but at least it’s mine. I do well when I work hard, seize opportunity, smear my gumption all over people…and things like that. I do poorly when I don’t do those things. And I have no one to blame but myself. Really. Even if I get screwed over or let down by a client, it’s up to me whether I cry about it and sling responsibility (and we all deserve at least 5 minutes of this) or whether I just get up and go find another one, a better one. Companies fold all the time or it’s just not a good fit or…there are so many things that could make this opportunity crumble.*

So, what I told her was, “Of course, I’ll send my resume, but:

• I’d be more interest in working as a contractor,
• Or as a consultant,
• Or on a special project for a few weeks to several months,
• And I’d need to telecommute,
• But I’d be happy to travel in on a regular basis.”

I’m not closing any doors. If a job-job came along that was just perfect (and had a sizable signing bonus), I would heavily consider it. As always, there is no definitive path…but there’s a helluva lot of excitement and possibility.

What about you? If you had your choice, would you go it alone or pull your chair up to a cubicle?

*I’m really not a pessimist. The other night, a loud truck with flashing lights woke me up in the middle of the night – my first and only thought was, why are they cleaning the streets at this hour? When, in fact and of course, it was a snowplow and we were in the middle of a snowstorm on March 1st. I think this is a sign of my deeply embedded optimism. (Which is why, for now, I’m putting my chips on Writing Roads.)

Image credit: Lokner

When old media and new media play together in the sandbox

‘This is a very simply game. You throw the ball, you catch the ball, you hit the ball. Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose. Sometimes…it rains.” Bull Durham

As I see it, one of my roles on this blog is, for lack of better words, to play the fool. For you that is. In other words, I’m taking one for the team. I’ve said time and time again that I’ve wished, both when I was starting out and still as I find my way, that I had someone like me who I could ask for advice or learn from. But I didn’t when I was starting and I frequently forget to ask for help now…so here I am as a result, sometimes doing it right, sometimes doing it wrong, sometimes…just doing it.

And last week, I did something wrong. So I’m here to tell you about it so that you, hopefully, don’t do it wrong if the opportunity should present itself.

Swimming around the freelancers’ pool

Freelancing has placed me in wide variety of situations at this point, I’m assuming you could say the same. By definition, we get thrown into all matter of circumstances where we may or may not have any clue how to act or be or do. Over our heads, soaked to our ankles, blowing bubbles, treading water or swimming speedily through the course – sometimes within a span of 5 minutes. Right?

Currently, I’m working on a massive project with a sizable team, we’ve got a little bit of every role you could imagine. Specific to my ‘doing it wrong’, we have two publicists. They’re Big deals. (It was suggested that I add the capital ‘B’).  One of them is French – and I imagine her sitting at a huge mahogany desk with a toy poodle on her lap and a long, thin cigarette hanging off of a long porcelain cigarette holder between her long thin fingers. Her hair is piled on top of her head and she’s wearing Chanel. But I have no idea if that is even a little bit true.

Anyway, I pissed her off.

You see, on a regular basis, the publicists send out emails to the team alerting us to news breaks or product mentions. And I, in my blind ignorance and bloggy haze of ‘we’re all in this together’, figured they were just letting us know whenever we were featured in the media. Since I’m running the social media campaign, I’ve engaged many listening tools – effectively holding my trusty stethoscope up to the internet – so that I know every time we ‘appear’ online. Obviously, then, I thought I should contribute to these emails as well. You know – one for all and all for…

Oops.

I got told off…and how (and quickly) for this gaff. Those press breaks they were sending were gigs the publicists themselves had landed. The break is there metric for their work for the client. Had I secured the mention I just emailed? (she asked). Um…nooooo, not so much. I just thought we were all spreading the good news. It turns out, we weren’t. Not even a little bit.

All worked out fine, I apologized, I never did it again, I returned to my corner to do my job. And I learned some things, which makes it all worth it in the end:

1. Now that I know why what I did wasn’t okay, it seems blaringly, glaringly obvious.
2. This is true of most lessons learned, except maybe those gleaned from a calculus textbook.
3. When entering a new situation, take a good look around and identify things that might not be familiar.
4. Find someone, either within the fray or without, that is familiar with those things.
5. If you feel like doing a certain something that is out of your general knowledge area, ask this someone for guidance: Run it by them first.
6. Keep your wits about you – did you just break a cardinal rule? ruin a business? step over a cultural line? threaten someone’s place on the totem pole? Put your mistake in perspective.
7. Life is very interesting when the old media and the new media play together in the sandbox.
8. My skin is getting thicker. Once upon a time I might have been mortified or at least obsessed about my faux pas. This time I said ‘whoops!’, laughed and moved right along.
9. What’s next? (Thank you, President Bartlett). The only way out of an error is forward. Fix it, change your behavior, don’t do it again.
10. When you have the best readers in the world, it isn’t that hard to tell them about the times when you’re stupid.
11. I really do love to share. It’s how I got myself into this mess…and it’s how I’m getting myself out.

Image credit: Banalities

Who needs statistics when we’ve got reality.

While many of my friends spent our junior year abroad in exotic places like Florence, Tanzania, Nepal, Paris and Argentina, I opted for the wilds of St. Louis, MO.

My main gig was volunteering at a domestic violence agency where I researched and wrote the organization’s history, taught dating violence prevention in local schools and worked on the 24-hour crisis hotline. And in order to do this terrifying and terribly important hotline work, I went through an intense and long training program.

• I learned why women stay in abusive relationships when it seems so obvious to the rest of us that they should leave.
• I learned that violence is a vicious cycle.
• And, I learned a number of statistics.

Most of theses numbers have stuck in my brain like gnarly, nasty pieces of chewed gum stuck under the lunch table – ugly to look at, hard to touch, easy to pretend they aren’t there. One of the stats goes like this: The day with the highest rate of domestic violence in the U.S. is Super Bowl Sunday.

Colts vs. Saints

Two days ago, as I sat at my computer working and occasionally watching the Facebook and Twitter streams of Super Bowl brouhaha pass me by, I found it hard to ignore this stuck-in-my-head statistic. I felt rising panic at what was likely going on as the Colts looked good…and then really bad, as the alcohol was consumed, as the chips ran out, as the bets were lost.

So, I put up a tweet and a FB status update telling people about the stat and offering up the number for the National Domestic Violence Hotline. 1-800-799-SAFE (7233), or 1-800-787-3224 (TTY)

What happened next utterly, totally and completely floored me.

Some women, women, came after me. They said the stat was bogus. One said, and I quote: “That is an unfounded myth propogated by the media and womens activist groups. Set the record straight.” (spelling/grammar errors are listed verbatim)

Can you imagine? Women-centric activist groups having the nerve to tell the world that on a day when alcohol, tension and the chance for losing large sums of money are high, there is a greater incidence of domestic violence? The horror. Don’t get me started on the idea that these groups have been lumped in with ‘the media’.

I’ve since learned there are many sides to the validity of the actual stat.

This comment also included the following quote, “On January 31, 1993, when Ken Ringle of The Washington Post questioned the information mentioned in the press release, other news media quickly retracted their articles covering the domestic violence story. The damage was done. The myth continues and Super Bowl Sunday is still sometimes referred to as Bloody Sunday, Abuse Bowl, a Day of Dread, and the Most Dangerous Day in America.”

The damage was done. Yes. Citizens of this country were once again made to look at the fact that women and children are beaten in their own homes every single day by the people who are supposed to love and cherish them. And how dare we disrupt Super Bowl Sunday with this blasphemy! Oh holy, holy day!

My question is, who cares about the validity of this stat? IS THIS WHAT WE SHOULD BE WASTING OUR BREATH ARGUING ABOUT? Domestic Violence is true, real, happening  - right now. And what made these women flare up against me and my status update about this? It confounds me!!! For heaven’s sake, use your breath to help someone, not squabble over what Snopes says!

And how can we believe that information from Ken Ringle up above. Hello? How many lies are we fed every day by industries with ulterior motives!?! I mean, do you really think Cheerios will save you from getting heart disease? PLEASE!!! The fight against the Super Bowl stat is based in the fact that it is a huge day for advertisers and TV: ‘Don’t fuck it up for us with your downer information, thank you’ is, I believe, their message.

My mom

My mother, bless her, has spent roughly 20 years of her life tirelessly working to bring awareness to and raise money for the ugly reality of domestic violence – and she isn’t done yet. Having retired from her role as Development Director, she’s now taking the training again so that she’s up to date and ready to again volunteer on the crisis hotline at Safe Connections in St. Louis.

In her training session this past Saturday (the day before the Big Game), someone (coincidentally) asked about the Super Bowl statistic. And the Director of the hotline said there’s a lot of discrepancy about the statistic. But that the organization personally tracks all of their calls, and every year, every year calls and DV reports spike on Super Bowl Sunday and the entire week that follows.

Statistic are hard to get. Especially when they surround an issue that people keep quiet, viciously undercover – so they don’t get arrested (the abuser) or so that they don’t get killed by their abuser (the abusee). Another stat: the chance an abused woman will be killed by her abuser if she tries to leave the situation increases roughly 75%.

What we do know is that an agency in downtown St. Louis, Missouri (middle America, right in the heartland) has their own stats. And they aren’t good.

If you or someone you know is being hurt, please reach out. Everyone deserves to be safe.

1-800-799-SAFE (7233), or 1-800-787-3224 (TTY)

Image credit: sinosplice

The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo meets Writing Roads (another girl with a tattoo or three)

I’m bad at picking books to read at the bookstore, you know, when it’s just me and shelves of beautifully packaged words. Apparently I missed that gene. I get swayed by the cover or the fact that the author’s name kind of looks like mine and I’m blinded by the dream of being published. Anywho, the ones I pick up on my own almost always disappoint.

Thank the good lord, I’m very good at taking book orders recommendations.

I might be a little annoying about it too. I ask a million questions, like: Do any animals get hurt? (I literally can’t take it) and Is it scary? and How fast, exactly, do you think I’ll be able to read it? (Because the world has to stop until I finish). I like to get the full review before I invest my time and I like to know what I’m getting myself into it. I demand full ‘word of mouth’ service.

As a result, I end up with superb books. Books that smart people told me I had to read. Or else.

Even though I like girls with tattoos…

And so it was with The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo. First of all, I never would have picked this book up on my own. Even though I like girls with tattoos, I’m not into dragons. And it’s a murder mystery type of book, not my usual genre. But, my parents – who have a superb reading record (I did get that gene) – gave it to me for Christmas. And I saw their eyes light up when I ripped the wrapping paper away. And I knew that even though this book promised some unpleasant subject matter, and even though it started out with a lot of hooha about banking and business (yawn) – this book was going to be a keeper.

Turns out, it’s a trilogy: The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo, The Girl Who Played With Fire and The Girl Who Kicked The Hornets’ Nest. Adding to the intrigue is that the author, Stieg Larsson, died of a heart attack right after he handed in his manuscripts. He has no idea that he’s sold millions of books, that this book is becoming a raving hit and that three movies have been made based on the trilogy. A writer’s life is just full of ironical detours, eh?

Is fiction ever really fiction?

There’s also more intrigue in that his life oddly mirrors much of his protagonist’s life. You know how I love when art imitates life and when fiction isn’t really all that fictional. And, for the geeky among us, this is the first book I’ve read where modern technology (laptops, email, the internet, hackers) are seamlessly interwoven into the story without seeming artificial.

My latest GIG…

And then the planets collided and I was hired to do the social media marketing campaign for the first movie. The author, the books and the movie are all Swedish, and they’ve reached cult status overseas, both the books and the movie have won prestigious awards over there. My campaign over here is going to be very bloggy. I’m staging a mystery for readers to solve across the blogosphere...so stay tuned. You could win premier tickets, meet-ups with the actual girl with the dragon tattoo, shirts, books…the whole bit.

I think books are best found through word of mouth…and now I’ve been charged with the task of putting this book into as many wordy mouths as humanly possible. How cool is that?

And, between you and me, the book is that good. So, read it. Or else. And then, tell everyone you know about it. Or else. And then, go see the movie. Or else. And then, tell everyone you know to see it. You know, or else.

I’m sending you off on an adventure around the blogosphere…and the importance of a landing page

Really, I am. I’m sending you elsewhere…(but just for a little field trip).

Because today, I have a post that lives on a different blog. It’s a little, teeny, tiny blog with oh, I don’t know, over 100,000 subscribers and god only knows how many daily hits. (I like to fantasize that it’s a million).

But before I send you off, I have to share an important trick of the trade that I’ve learned via this particular guest posting experience. How many times have you read a guest post on one of your favorite blogs, loved it and clicked through to the author’s site only to land on their home page or blog where you poke around directionless before either 1) subscribing because you liked the guest post so much or 2) leaving because it’s all just kind of blah or 3) finding this blogger’s blog so enthralling that you read everything they’ve ever written?

When Sonia Simone, Copybloggers’ Senior Editor, emailed me to arrange my guest post, she recommended that I create a landing page for Copyblogger traffic. Brilliant. Really, this is such a fantastic idea. I immediately created a page that my guest post bio would link back to on my site instead of just sending them to my blog url. The page tells new visitors:

• Who I am
• What I do
• Where to find the things I want them to find on my site (ebook, teleclass info, blog, services, etc.)
• Special projects

You could also include:

• Links for people to buy your products
• Favorite blog posts
• Contact information
• And on and on

I’ve seen people use landing pages for Google Ads, their Twitter (or other social media sites), conference bios, etc. It’s your landing page, you are directing the flow of traffic exactly how you want to, total control.

Guest posting is a very good thing. It’s critical for bloggers interested in growing their readership. But, ceating a landing page for new readers so they know where to go and what to do and how to get the most out of you? As I said, brilliant.

And now, without any further ado, I’d love for you to click on over to Copyblogger to read my post. And you can find my landing page here.

Thanks y’all.

Image credit: waywuwei

Speakin’ out? Get ready for the smackin’ down. And the standin’ back up.

First there was hunting in the state forest, then there was snow on the paths in the state forest, so what did I do? I stood up for my rights as a rollerblader and I took to the road to get my sweat on.

I try to go when there aren’t a lot of cars on the road, I really do – for me and for them. But it is a road, so there are cars. Most of them make wide arcs around me, they smile, they wave, they stare in awe that I’m out there when it’s 20 degrees. And then, some of them come pretty damn close to hitting me. And they give me dirty looks to boot.

Jealous? Ignorant? Mean? Entitled to their opinion? Generally miserable in their own little lives? All possible.

A few times on this blog (for instance, here and here) and recently on the Geek Girl Blog, I stood up for some other rights. I spoke up – loud, proud, with my female version of cojones. (Would those be ovaries or big bosoms?) And what did I get? The same thing.

I got high fives, big smiles, wide arcs – plenty of support. But, I also got nearly run over, ripped a new one (or five) and many, many dirty looks.

Jealous? Ignorant? Mean? Entitled to their opinion? Generally miserable in their own little lives? All possible.

Worth it? Yes. If we don’t speak up, those that are being hurt or left behind won’t have a chance. Oh, and you should see my ass. I do not sit on the couch all winter…or when I’ve got something to say. You?

Image credit: djfoobarmatt

Geek Girl Camp 2010!!!

It’s that time again, yes, indeedy. And, I’m so excited. After a fantastic inaugural year – in which Geek Girl took off like gangbusters (on Red Bull) – I can’t wait to see what this second season brings.

What? You don’t know about Geek Girl Camp? Or the Geek Girls? Where do I begin!

1. The fabulous, brilliant, selfless, kind and energetic fireball otherwise known as Leslie Fishlock, had an IDEA.
2. She was on a mission to make sure that every woman/girl/chiquita had the opportunity to learn about tech (computers, social media, apps, programs, you name it) in a safe, non-threatening, supportive way.
3. Boom. She assembled a world-class, top-notch team (cough, cough – yes, if I do say so myself) of Geek Girls to teach, share and spread the good word.
4. Two Geek Girl Camps (GGC) exploded on the scene last spring (on Cape Cod and in Boston) offering full day seminars with loads of workshops on every technology topic imaginable at an insanely affordable price ($140) – oh, and there was a party with a signature alcoholic beverage to boot.
5. I was honored to teach 10 workshops at GGC over 2 days about blogging (how to, abc’s, finding voice, using blogs to grow your business) and social media.
6. Geek Girl for Hire was created – sending out single or multi-womaned troops to companies and organizations everywhere teaching geek and tech.
7. Operation Laptop Donation for Women was put into full effect – taking discarded laptops, cleaning them up and giving them to women (going back to school or work) in need.

The first Geek Girl Camp for 2010 has been announced, and I can’t wait to lead my blogging workshops and be a part of this phenomenalness again! I hope to see you there. Tell everyone you know. Here’s the deal (and make sure you grab the discount code at the bottom, you only have until Jan. 1st!!!):

The Twitter Triage

Once upon a time, I worked in an office. I remember it, but the details are somewhat fuzzy. I didn’t like the work, but I loved the socializing.

We were horrible influences on each other. One person would innocently say, ‘I wish I had some ice cream…’ and someone else would jump up, grab their keys and ask what flavor. Before you knew it, there was sundae party in the dining room.

But sometimes this came in handy. Like when someone was heading out to the store and asked, ‘I’m headed to the store, does anyone need anything? These days, I can only ask myself and the onus is on me to partake in ice cream.

Until today. There I was minding my own business on Twitter, when I saw this tweet:

Yes, of course. Why not triage on Twitter?

• “I’m calling Applecare about my iMac glitch, anyone have any questions for them?”
• “Headed to Home Depot to price kitchen cabinets, anyone else looking? Let me know your measurements.”
• “Going out for Burrito’s tonight, anyone on the South Side want me to bring you something back?”

Now that’s social networking.

Image credit: Erkka P.

The Mommy Blogger Box

I’m a blogger. I’m a mom. But I don’t call myself a ‘Mommy Blogger’. Everyone has an opinion on this: there are some that take pride in the name, others who hide from it, some who just don’t care.

Why don’t I call myself one?

Because in the way that our misogynistic, paternalistic, sexist and capitalist society is wont to do (time and again) the Mommy Blogger moniker is weighted down with stereotype, scorn, mockery and devaluation. The image that comes to mind? Well…

• stay at home mom
• bored mom
• gossipy mom
• bitchy mom
• coupon mom
• Walmart, juice box, Wii Fit mom

And, some of the Mommy Bloggers are exactly that. And there is absolutely nothing wrong with it or them – but it doesn’t define many of us or what we do. The problem is that it is the only image that is being portrayed. In the last month, there have been five articles from major media outlets telling the same story (four of them were in the last week). It goes something like this:

“Colleen Padilla, a 33-year-old mother of two who lives in suburban Philadelphia, has reviewed nearly 1,500 products, including baby clothes, microwave dinners and the Nintendo Wii, on her popular Web site Classymommy.com. Her site attracts 60,000 unique visitors every month, and Ms. Padilla attracts something else: free items from companies eager to promote their products to her readers.” New York Times

This article, and the ones from CNET, AOL’s Daily Finance, Wall Street Journal and Newsweek then go on to discuss whether it’s okay or not that mothers who blog should be able to write sponsored posts, receive freebies, get paid by companies, etc. And the headlines are derogatory; Newsweek says: Trusted Mom or Sellout? If I cursed on this blog, I would be yelling, ‘Fuck you’ at Newsweek right now.

Putting the Mommy Bloggers into a box is bad enough, why do you have to kick them in the groin? Oh, and journalists, is it still great media if you’re the fifth person to tell the same story? It’s getting old and you’re missing the boat here. Attention: there is more to Mommy Bloggers than product pushing and diaper geenies.

Let’s talk about Mommy Bloggers finding creativity, financial independence, community. Let’s talk about the incredible exchange of knowledge between these mothers. Let’s talk about the Mommy Bloggers who talk about the law, business, health, science, sports, animals, non-profits, marketing, PR, religion and parenting. Let’s talk about the Mommy Bloggers who have been published, built empires, are household names. (Arianna Huffington anyone?)

Am I a Mommy Blogger? Hell yeah. I write about copywriting, business and marketing on this blog; social media on this blog; parenting on this blog…and just about everything else you can think of on Twitter – the ultimate megaphone. And I’m a Mom the whole time.

Let’s redefine the term. You can’t put Mommy Bloggers in a box. We’ll kick, talk and write our way out. We can change this, ‘Moms that Blog’, we really can. We’re good at creating change, banding together and having our voices heard. In fact, that’s exactly what we were all busy doing when they came and shoved us into a box.