My Feminist Icon is…
Dear Naomi Wolf,
I’m really a fan of your work. So I’m quite confused by the article you wrote about Angelina Jolie in Harper’s Bazaar where you declared her the new feminist icon.
One of your reasons? Because she had escaped the Madonna/Whore debacle. Interesting? Did she really? Was she ever a shoe-in for the Madonna? There isn’t enough ‘orphan’ in China to cover those tattoos. Sorry. (I have three tattoos myself, I love tattoos, but the Madonna – last time I checked – had none.)
Escape the image of the Whore? Um. Last time I checked she had an affair with a married man and then told everyone about it in a magazine. You wrote, ’she managed the almost unheard-of task of turning the home-wrecker label into a wholesome, family-friendly triumph.’ …………….. Sorry for the pause. I was busy. Throwing up.
Is this a joke? Who decided that she triumphed and who the hell called it wholesome? I think what she did was horrid and unforgivable. I’ve never caught her face on the front of the tabloids and thought anything but, ‘Ew.’ She did something wrong. She hurt at least one person, badly. And because the media decided to spin it one particular way, she triumphed? Naomi, you say it yourself: Maddox was photographed playing squeaky clean football with Brad Pitt, the father figure, and by Annie Liebovitz loving his mother. This was not a triumph – but a well-played, well-moneyed PR stunt.
I don’t care how much good she does in the world, you can’t really erase that, can you??? Maybe you can note her change or congratulate her for doing good things – but call a spade a spade. I beg you.
Then, you claim that because Santa Angelina (as Perez likes to call her) got her pilot’s license, she’s chosen “the classic metaphor for choosing your own direction.” Oh? What about a race car driver like Danica Patrick? What about Secretary of State like Hilary Clinton (I mean, she travels all over the world!)? What about an artist? What about a writer? I can think of dozens of professions that involve choosing your own direction. Boldly, even.
You also declare that ’she took for her own pleasure the male seen as the most desired of the tribe, Brad Pitt.’ Not to me. I’m a George Clooney kind of a girl. And there’s something so barbaric in your word choice…but I get that you meant to do that. You want us to see her as the cavewoman clubbing the man and dragging him back to her cave. You succeeded, I just don’t find that alluring, praise-worthy or as a desirable behavior.
Maybe this is my favorite part of your article:
“Yes, she is conventionally beautiful: Bosomy and wasp-waisted, with that curtain of hair and those crazy pillowy lips, she is an obvious male sex fantasy.”
Hello? Naomi? Are you even in there??? You, yes YOU, the one that wrote The Beauty Myth. On what planet is Angelina Jolie ‘conventionally beautiful’??? Her boobs are huge. She looks anorexic – whether she is or isn’t, her bones poke out and there is no meat on her. She’s 34 years old, has carried three children in her womb and her stomach is non-existent and those boobs stand up without stretch marks so far as we can see. Her lips are, as you say, pillows – meaning overstuffed (and I’m sure they’re natural, they do seem to exist in her childhood photos). BUT MOST WOMEN DON’T LOOK LIKE THAT.
If I remember correctly, you wanted to liberate us from thinking we needed to idolize that male, sexualized, impossible to attain ideal! Just because some women, or the majority according to your poll, think she’s hot doesn’t make it okay. Why do you think they find her attractive? Doesn’t this beauty myth play a role. Wasn’t your theory that women are pressured into taking on this idealized concept of the female body? By men?
I read your book a long time ago, when it came out in 1991. And it meant so much to me. So much – as a woman who was struggling with an eating disorder, who had just found herself plopped in an Abercrombie & Fitch catalog masquerading as a private, New England college, who went on to struggle and survive, who was proudly among the first small group of women to graduate with a Women’s Studies major.
So, my feminst icon? Well, she used to look a little bit like Gloria Steinem, Alice Walker, Billie Jean King, Sylvia Boorstein and my fourth grade teacher, Holly Tetlow, all rolled into one. But the more I read your article, the more I realized that my icon is so much more. She’s new women I meet doing amazing things, female authors that are writing their hearts out, mothers that survive the loss of a child, girls finding their voices, she’s my friends, she’s my family. And she’s me – on my good days and on my bad ones.
We are more universal. We’re a grab bag, really. As diverse as our needs and wants on any given day. But, bottomline, my icon is real. She’s here.
Live and let live. I don’t know Angelina Jolie and I don’t pretend to just becuase I can read about her life in People magazine. But, I do know my icons, idols, role models and fantasies…and they look, act and exist nothing like Angelina Jolie.
Filed under Myth or Reality, Politics | Tags: Angelina Jolie, feminism, feminist icon, Naomi Wolf, Politics, the beauty myth | Comments (56)Can you take a look at this for me?
I believe it was Ben Stiller in the 90’s romcom Reality Bites who coined the phrase ‘non-practicing Jew’ – I’m one of those too, and right now, I’m a ‘non-practicing yoga teacher’ as well. But just like my Judaism, the yoga teaching is still running through my veins. I find myself thinking like a yoga teacher – wanting to lead, make hands-on adjustments, practicing alongside my students, clients, whatever they may be.
My beautiful wife, Patti, however, is a ‘practicing yoga teacher’ and while she does teach traditional classes, her focus is on teaching privates only. Someone asked me why anyone would want a private yoga class. “Wouldn’t that be so weird,” she asked, “to have the teacher just sitting right in front of you, staring at you?”
Yes, that might be weird…it might not. Traditionally the teacher/student relationship was one-on-one with the teacher paying single pointed focus to the student, guiding them along their way. And it usually didn’t look like our yoga classes. When you work with someone in this way, you’re able to look at their body in their postures, talk about injuries or unique physical and mental limitations, etc.
One of my favorite exercises that I used to to with my students, was this (you can totally do this with me right now…):
- Stand up (somewhere with enough space that you can swing your arms and legs without hitting anything).
- Close your eyes.
- Shake your arms and your legs out (like you were trying to get water off of them after the shower – really spiders is a more appropriate example but then you’ll be freaked out about spiders crawling on you and won’t be able to concentrate – so pretend you shake water off, post-shower, ‘kay? Thanks.)
- Keep your eyes closed.
- Now come back to standing in stillness. If you practice yoga, come into the Mountain Pose. If you don’t practice yoga, bring your feet hip width apart, make them parallel to each other, arms down by your sides.
- Now, open your eyes.
Look down at your feet…most people, with their eyes closed, think their feet are parallel and hips distance apart – but the reality that many of you might find is that one or both of your feet is turned out or in (either a little or dramatically) and that your hips distance apart more like a foot or two apart.
And trust me, this is only the part that you can see. Chances are one shoulder is higher than the other, your head is pitched way forward and your right ear is curiously close to your right shoulder. In my case, and Patti always finds this hysterical, my body is rotated a good 15 degrees to the left from my waist up. But I, and you, think we are standing perfect straight, totally symetrical.
It’s fascinating, jarring really. And a fantastic lesson. When I have someone standing with me, they can guide my body into alignment – as often as needed, in whatever post I’m in – until my body releases the habitual holding patterns and learns the alligned way.
So my question is, why wouldn‘t you ask someone to look at all of your stuff? Business plans, new boyfriend, marketing strategies, new suit, tagline, dinner party menu, web copy, first home, logo…
A new set of eyes is likely to find the flaws. You know, when you’ve looked at something so many times, they just seem natural and right to you. I don’t know about you, but I love to be straightened out.
Image courtesy of northstander
Filed under How To, Myth or Reality, The Business | Tags: copyediting, copywriting, editing, Julie Roads, Marketing, marketing writing, web copy, Writing, Writing Roads | Comments (8)What comes first, the blog or the book? An interview with Alisa Bowman.
I need to start by telling you that this post is seething with information. Really. Truly. I wouldn’t lie. It’s a bit long…but so worth it.
Do you know Alisa Bowman? (pronounced aleesa) If you do, you’re lucky. If you don’t, you’re about to get lucky – pun fairly intended.
Alisa is a writer extraordinaire. Her story and topic are bold (marriage and sex) – but her honesty and undeniable sweetness and realness make it all work. When I read her words, I feel like it’s just her and me doing some serious girl talk, pool side, with good drinks in hand. Besides the fact that she’s ghostwritten 6 bestsellers, Alisa is hardcore working her own gig right now – Project Happily Ever After - the blog and the book that several publishers are vying for at this very moment – she’s got it going on. But don’t listen to me…let’s listen to her.
Julie Roads: What came first, the idea for the book or the blog?
Alisa Bowman: They sort of evolved at the same time. As I was working on my marriage, I was sending very long and somewhat humorous emails to a friend, the very friend who convinced me to work on my marriage. One of these emails, for instance, was about my first bikini wax ever. The wax was called The Martini, and I got it because I am a Type A perfectionist who was about to have sex with her husband again after a 6 month long dry spell. I planned our second first time down to the very last detail–including the shape and size of my pubic region.
I sent her emails about all sorts of things: how we’d tried this thing called the “relaxed hug” and how it hadn’t exactly worked for us. I gave her all of the details about the Second First Time, even down to the fact that I finally figured out how to give my husband a good blow job. Seriously. I left nothing out. It was the first time in my life that I’d ever been so candid with anyone, but I felt so open with her. She was one of the only people who knew about my marital problems, and she was right there with me through every step of our marital improvement project. But she lives in Va. and I live in Pa., so we mostly communicated by email.
Anyway, she kept emailing back telling me that she laughed until she cried. She encouraged me to send my emails–as is–to Slate and Salon. I didn’t have the courage to do that just yet, so I started taking classes online. I first took a fiction class and dropped out about half way through when I realized I was basically writing erotica and I didn’t need the teacher’s help (not to mention the fact that she honestly did not know what to do with me). Then I took an essay writing class. The teacher was so encouraging that it gave me the courage to dream big.
So one day I was walking my dog and I started thinking about how I had my husband’s funeral completely planned out. I knew what brand of beer I would serve the mourners. I knew that waiters would be walking around with lamb on a stick. I wondered, “Do other people do this? Am I a freak?” And just like that, this line came to me, “I knew something was wrong with my marriage when I planned my husband’s funeral.” You never saw a woman walk back to her house so fast. I just sat at my computer and started typing. That turned out to be the first line of my book, and before I stood back up, I had an entire first chapter.
Then I entered this manic state where I knew it was good. I don’t know how to explain that. But I knew I had something, something that could help others. I knew I had a strong voice. I knew I had a story to tell. At the same time, as much as I knew it, I completely doubted myself. “You’re just a ghost writer. You can’t write a memoir. Your life is so completely boring. It is no Glass Castle.” Seriously. That was the sort of thing I told myself.
But I was having this rebirth where I was continually inspired to write all sorts of things, some of it related to my marriage and some of it not. I didn’t know what to do with it all. I finally got the courage to send the first chapter to my agent. I also sent him a bunch of other crap that I’d been writing (I kept the erotica to myself, but I did mention that I had it if he knew of a market for it). He read it all while on vacation. I still have the email he sent to me, from his vacation. One line was, “I really, really like P:HEA [Project Happily Ever After]. Great title, great concept. By far the most commercial of what you sent.” And so, I just kept writing.
Other writers had been telling me to start a blog for a while, but I’d resisted because I didn’t know what I would blog about. Most freelancers write about writing, and I didn’t want to do that. I also didn’t think I could write about ghost writing without ending my career. Then one day I had one of those “Duh you silly person” moments and realized my blog should be about marriage. And then I realized that the blog and the book could work together. And then I realized that I needed a platform, etc etc etc. That’s when things got serious.
Julie: How has the blog impacted the book…and vice versa?
Alisa: I don’t think the actual content of the blog influenced the book all that much. They are really separate entities. The book is the story of my marriage: falling in love, falling out of love, falling back in love. It spans 2004-2008. The blog is based on that backstory, but it’s a lot more advice oriented than the blog and all of the real life stories take place 2008 and beyond. That said, I blog 5 days a week, and blogging has allowed me to strengthen my voice and become a much better writer. I’m much more in touch with my audience now that I blog. So the act of blogging has allowed me to craft a better book. I started writing the book in late 2007 but I didn’t finish it until early 2009. (Well, I’m still tinkering and will probably do so until someone forces me to stop). So blogging allowed me to go back and edit the book and make it A LOT better. I would have never developed my voice this quickly if it were not for blogging.
As for a timeline, I started writing the book toward the end of my official marriage project, so around Sept 2007. I had a pretty solid first draft by summer 2008. I’ve been editing and tinkering with it ever since. I started the blog Oct 2008.
Julie: My readers and I are brilliant, so we understand the importance of ‘giving it away for free’ as a way to create buzz and gather an audience. What has been your approach in that respect?
Alisa: I agree that you are brilliant! And I’m one of your readers, so that means I must be brilliant, too!!
Anyway…
Before I started blogging, I didn’t understand why any writer would give her words away for free when she could get paid for them. It went against everything I’d ever been taught about valuing ones work, not to mention copyright. But, honestly, there are not many paying markets for what I do. I have a very strong voice, and while my readers love that about me, magazines don’t.
And the blogging makes me happy. I seriously don’t care whether or not I get paid for it at this point. The process is what matters.
From a business sense, though, I’ve completely changed my views about the value of blogging. Free or not, it offers many, many values including and not limited to:
* It’s how I prove myself as a writer. After I started my blog, another website discovered me through my blog and offered me a regular job as a relationships editor for $1000 a month. It only lasted 4 months because the website lost its funding, but it was fun while it lasted. I also was able to place a first person piece in American Baby, mostly because the editor liked what she saw on my blog. Your blog is your virtual resume. Almost no one looks at the paper version anymore.
* I can monetize it eventually. I now have 75,000+ monthly visitors, so I’m definitely looking into ways to monetize. I’m looking into launching a store on the site that sells branded items. We’ll see.
* As I said, it makes me a better writer. I’m also a better marketer, which helps me land more ghosting work because my authors all know that my knowledge of social media and digital marketing is valuable.
* It’s one of the only ways a non-connected not-remotely-rich person can gain a fan base. If you were not born rich or are not an actress or a model, then a blog is your best shot at building a following. A following is what you need to make ANY business successful. Your blog is free advertising. You could pay to put up billboards all over the country or you could blog for free. Blogging is a lot more fun and a lot more effective.
Julie: You’re currently in negotiations to have the book published, I think we can safely assume that the blog has helped make your case with the publishers – can you tell us how exactly?
Alisa: This is one of those things that confuses a lot of people. They think they can just start a blog and get a book deal, but it’s more complex than that. You don’t just need a blog to get a book deal. You need a successful one, one with a big following. Zen Habits had 1 million unique visitors before he got a book deal. Same with dooce.com. I believe Hungry Girl had 250,000.
You can get a deal with fewer visitors (I am about to), but you need to: 1) have an amazing product (book) that showcases a story with a complete arc and strong voice 2) show that you are gaining momentum quickly. Essentially you need to know that you are gaining site visitors, that you are a hot commodity. You need to prove that you are about to hit your virtual tipping point.
And the content on your blog really needs to be different than the content you want to put in your book. Otherwise editors will continually ask you, “Why would someone pay $24.99 for this when they can get it for free on your blog?” That’s a valid question. You need to be able to answer it with, “Well they can’t get it for free on my blog because my book is completely new and different.”
The blog definitely helped me, though, especially because my traffic numbers are moving in the right direction. That helps to prove a number of variables: people like my voice, people like what I have to say, my writing can attract a following, etc. That I can tell 75,000 or more people about the book just by writing a post about it also doesn’t hurt.
But what’s more important are my relationships. I’m a former newspaper reporter and former magazine editor. Between my previous jobs and blogging, I’ve gotten to know many different writers, from reporters at the Pittsburgh Post Gazette to bloggers at MSNBC and tlc.com (not to mention YOU) to one of the anchors at the FOX news network. I’m connected to hundreds of freelancers through Twitter, Facebook and a couple professional organizations.
As a result, I know what stories various freelancers are working on at any given time, and I know when they are desperately trying to find that rare person who is willing to talk about her sex life and allow her complete name to appear in the story. I really am a rare woman in that regard. Most people are not comfortable talking about the things I am willing to tell the world. So between my connections and my openness, I’ve had a fairly easy time lining up media for myself. Just in the past year, I’ve been quoted in Redbook, First, and Pregnancy magazines, as well as iparenting.com and cnn.com. I’ve been a guest on several blog talk radio shows and my essays and articles have appeared in a number of different consumer magazines.
Blogging has also taught me a lot about social media and digital marketing. My following on Twitter and established presence on Facebook certainly helped me gain interest from publishers.
Publishers like authors who can market and sell their own books. Their budgets are shrinking, and their publicity teams are continually forced to work on more books with fewer people. So an author who can serve as her own publicist–by launching a blog tour, doing guest posting, smoozing with freelancers, doing public speaking, etc–is very attractive.
I might not be Suzanne Somers, but I can get my message out. My relationships with other bloggers and journalists really helped to make me attractive to publishers.
Julie: Has the blog hurt the publishing process at all?
Alisa: I don’t think it hurt. Publishers really are not as out of touch as many people think. They are pretty on top of the trends in all things digital. But they are still operating in two formats: paper and digital. That’s pretty tough and it takes a near genius to find ways to straddle both formats well.
I did have one publisher ask about my ebook, which I’m giving away for free, but the content in the ebook is different than the content in the paper book that I’m shopping around. If I was repurposing, then the blog would probably hurt. It would also hurt if I had no site visitors. But that’s not the case.
Julie: You write about your life, your relationship, sex – all very personal. How do you approach the issue of transparency?
Alisa: Many years ago, I used to be a very secretive person. I was also very, very depressed. I’ve since learned that I’m much happier when I keep no secrets. I have nothing to be ashamed of and nothing to be embarrassed about. I’d rather people know the real me. If they know everything about me and still like me? Then I know they are true friends. If I hide parts of myself from people, how will I ever truly know what they think of me?
Blogging has really helped me become more comfortable with sharing the intimate details of my life, though. I continually get comments and emails from people who thank me for helping them. Those comments mean the world to me and they make any moment of bashfulness so worth it.
I used to worry about the effects my blogging and writing in general would have on my daughter. She’s only 4 now, so I’m not sure what the future holds. But I do think I’m a better parent that I can talk and write about these issues openly. I’m sure she’ll hate that I write about my sex life when she’s 13. But if she didn’t have that, she’d find something else to hate about me during that stage of her life.
My general rule about the transparency is that it has to have a point. I don’t write about my sex life just to be graphic. I always make sure I have a point or that I’m trying to be helpful. That’s my rule and that’s what allows me to sleep at night!
Where to find Alisa…
Project Happily Ever After Website
Project Happily Ever After Blog
Free Ebook: Relationship Rules
Filed under Blogging, How To, Myth or Reality, News, Writing | Tags: alisa bowman, best seller, blog, Blogging, getting published, ghostwriting, Julie Roads, marriage, marriage advice, project happily ever after, sex, Writing, Writing Roads | Comments (7)Blur the Lines
If you go to search Google today, you’ll find this in the top right hand corner of your screen:
Once upon a time, the list included ‘Blogs’ as a category. You can still search blogs exclusively if you click the ‘more’ carrot – but the significance here is that blogs have been absorbed into the greater category of ‘Web’. This didn’t happen yesterday, mind you – it’s not breaking news, but it’s a prime example of lines being blurred and the inclusion of social media in mainstream ‘information accrual.’
The other day, I was talking to the glorious Nevette Previd, and I was explaining social bookmarking. As I defined it in a narrow box kind of a way, Digg, Stumble, etc., she (who admittedly is not uber-familiar with social media) asked me, “wouldn’t links within blogs be social bookmarks as well?”
But, of course. And brilliant. It’s all so clear to those of us not bogged down by it, right?
For a while now, I’ve been referring to Twitter as a social bookmarking tool – but she is exactly right. All of the social networking sites and blogs are also social bookmarking tools – because links are being favorited, shared and saved.
And social networking extends beyond Facebook, Linkedin, etc. because we’re also networking, connecting and becoming fans on Digg, Stumble and Kirtsy and on blogs via subcriptions, blogrolls and comments.
And blogging? Well, we’re microblogging on social media sites with our updates and we’re leaving comments and reviews on social bookmarking sites…so that works too.
But don’t just stop there. Social media, new media, traditional media – they’re all blending. Or rather television and print journalism are integrating with new media at a neck-breaking rate.
The definitions are growing fuzzy and that’s good, I think – everything is being integrated. The best parts are being used, the bad stuff will be left behind. Maybe we’ll all be on the same page some day…or perhaps just on the same url.
Image by billselak
Filed under Blogging, How To, Myth or Reality, Networking, Social Media | Tags: blog, Blogging, Digg, facebook. linkedin, Julie Roads, kirtsy, social bookmarking, social media, social networking, stumble, Twitter, Writing Roads | Comment (1)Open in a New Window
Just in case you weren’t sure quite how nerdy I really am…
The debate du jour surrounds blog writing etiquette and linking. We all know it’s best practice to link out from your posts – but is there a correct way to format these links? There are two ways to go:
1. Open link in the same window.
2. Open link in a new window.
When you open the link in the same window, it obliterates the page from which you received the link in the first place. This disturbs me as a reader because I lose track of where I was and can’t make my way back (especially if I was on a new site that I found and was focused on the content, not the name and url). To me, it’s the equivalent of falling down the rabbit hole. Who knows when I’ll find my way back.
As a blogger, it concerns me that my readers will experience what I just described. That they’ll click on a link and be lost forever. Via a lively debate on Twitter, Ron Miller said:
ron_miller @writingroads I know, but I still don’t think you have to have the link open in a new window. Your readers will come back.
Maybe…but what about the person that followed a link that looked like this: “is.gd/e9k5″??? They might not know where they are. And this isn’t some sort of writer’s insecurity for me. I can be reading the most fabulous post I’ve ever read, click a link and get lost or busy or distracted.
Some people feel very strongly that the link should be opened in the same window, here are a few:
adamconnor @writingroads opening links in new windows is typically a usability no-no. Have seen it confuse users in a few studies.
CharJTF @writingroads Accessibility-wise, opening in new window isn’t easier. Personally, I hate links that spawn new windows…I can do it myself.
The issue for them with opening links in a new window is that users suddenly have multiple tabs open. I love multiple tabs. I build them up as my day goes on. Firefox allows me to have over 20 tabs open, and I move with the dexterity of a jedi from window to window throughout the day. My ADD mind loves the options, the accessibility, the madness of it all.
But, I also love that when I click on a link, I can read it, close it and then find myself back on the original site without having to store any info in my crammed brain. Suddenly this site is before my eyes, and I say, “Nice site! Hey, I’ve been here before! Oh, this is where I was before I clicked to read that other article….” Understanding sets in and a warm, almost fizzy, feeling of recognition floods my body. No, I’m not ’simple’ – just busy.
Is there a right way? Is there a wrong way? Not entirely sure, but there do seem to be a lot of opinions. As for me, I’m thinking: If I love Japanese food, but abhor Italian, why would I feed you lasagna? You’ll notice that I almost always open links in a new window.
Image courtesy of Qtea
Twitter Baiting
No, I didn’t say, ‘twitterbating’ – that’s another topic entirely.
Twitter baiting is the Twitter equivalent of link baiting – wherein people lure bloggers, visitors or companies to their site through a variety of tactics. According to Rob Sullivan on Search Engine Journal, link baiting sounds like black hat (or dirty and sleazy) SEO, but it’s actually just the process of getting other sites to link to yours.
Link Baiting is just like fishing. You publish a new page on a topic…and set it free on the web. Hopefully others pick up on the content as fresh and interesting and link to it. The article is the bait, and the link is the catch.
You just witnessed link baiting, as a matter of fact. Rob wrote a good article, and I quoted it and linked back to him.
It must be noted that some folks do fish for links in a bad way – with false claims, antagonistic or controversial content.
The Twitter Translation
So how does this convert to Twitter? Well, people are using their tweets to lure people to their sites, of course. Not for links only, but also for traffic, body counts, retweets, buzz. Twitter baiting happens in the following ways:
- Controversial or attention-getting tweets
- Contest, challenge or giveaway tweets
- Asking for retweets
- Misleading tweets that tease X and deliver Y
- Plain, old-fashioned, good quality content
Sometimes it’s good: when the tweeted link leads to a quality site offering high value and solid information.
Sometimes it’s bad: sending you to product pushing sites, scams or long sales letters (or just junk).
Wait. And Eureka! Either way, Twitter baiting really isn’t that far from Twitterbating after all! I mean, it is all about self-pleasure…right?
Is Twitter Baiting good or bad? Is it all in how you do it? Is it simply the nature of the beast?
Image courtesy of Aaron_M
Filed under Blogging, Marketing, Myth or Reality, Networking, Social Media | Tags: Julie Roads, link baiting, social media, social networking, Twitter, twitter baiting, Writing Roads | Comments (6)Fears Have Ears
A good friend just told me this story:
When my daughter was 2 she developed this phobia of bugs. It was so bad she wouldn’t go outside. So my wife came up with the idea of her screaming at the bugs: ‘GO AWAY BUGS! YOU CAN’T BOTHER ME!’ And it worked.
He suggested that I yell, ‘Go away kidney stones’ – as the logical cure. And, our other friend, who was listening, noted, “The stones don’t have ears.”
To which he replied, “Neither did the bugs.”
But we have ears, don’t we. Which makes me think there’s really something to this theory. We hear what we say about ourselves – somewhere inside it gets internalized, and we believe it.
The fears have ears.
Are you feeding yours? Or blasting them out of the park?
How does this affect you as you move forward with your writing, your business or new forays into places like Twitter? How does it affect your life?
Image courtesy of AussieGall
Filed under How To, Myth or Reality, Social Media, The Business | Tags: copywriter, copywriting, fear, freelance business, freelance copywriter, Julie Roads, small business, social media, Twitter, Writing, Writing Roads | Comments (7)Try This One! No, Try This One! No, Try This One!
Let me preface this post by saying that I am also sick of talking about kidney stones, but they’ve been the topic du jour in my body for some time now…so, that’s what I’m serving here today – kidney pie. If you will.
Try This One! No, Try This One! No, Try This One!
Here’s the thing. I’ve been to the emergency room twice and a urologist once in the last 48 hours. And I watched something happen that was just so shocking. It looked something like this:
Doc: Oh, you’re in pain from the stone? Here’s some pain medication!
Me: My stomach is killing me from the pain medication.
Doc: Oh! Take Tums and Zantac! But watch out for the side effects to your liver…
Me: I have a rash from the pain medication.
Doc: Oh! Take Benadryl! But it will make you really dizzy and you can’t drive or ….
Me: I’m nauseous from the pain medication.
Doc: Oh! Take Zofran! But you can’t use it long term because…
Me: I’m constipated from the pain medication. (Too much information? Sorry, I’m proving a point here.)
Doc: Oh! Take Colase! But it might make you have really bad diarrhea and can dehydrate you…
Call me crazy…but does anyone else here think there might be a problem with the pain medication? And why is it okay to solve the problem of the pain medication with something else that will likely cause new problems?
As I lounged around on my skinny little hospital stretcher, in a gown that refused to stay on or closed, I promised myself not to ever run a business on the western medicine model. How do you get anywhere by throwing band-aids all over the place and not addressing the real problem? Or, even worse, creating new ones?
Imagine if you came to me for web copy:
You put it up on your site, and then called me and said, ‘Every time the name of my business appears on the site, it’s in neon green. Can you help?’
And I said, “Oh, that’s the host’s fault. Try this new host, it’ll take away the green, but your site will probably crash every other day.”
Wouldn’t you run away screaming? Or have we surrendered to the fact that everything has problems, and we just have to walk around putting on band-aids…and hoping that the liver damage, dizziness and dehydration are the better option.
What’s that saying? What doesn’t kill us only makes us stronger? Yeah, that’s the one…but, it’s not the one for me.
Let’s talk about solution, prevention, looking at every angle, hearing the whole story. Just thinking about it? I feel better already.
Image courtesy of Mr. T in DC
By the way, I am not a doctor, nor do I play one on TV. None of the items in this post are intended to be help cure, alleviate or prevent any of your health problems, nor can I verify that they are medically accurate – I was on pain medication as these events occurred.
A Merger of Equals
Behind every copywriter, that I know anyway, is a novel waiting to be written. And behind every one of those novels, there’s an excuse behind its non-existence. It’s typically an asinine excuse that is, in fact, easily surmountable – to everyone but Us.
I actually have a few of these excuses, but one of them goes like this: my book is either a memoir or a work of fiction based on the memoir material, and I get stuck on both sides. If it’s a memoir, I’ll be outing people and places, and gasp! myself. If it’s a work of fiction based on the memoir material, how do I change things enough to be unrecognized, but not so much that the story loses its authenticity.
Heavy, right? So heavy that I’ve been standing behind it trying unsuccessfully to move that block out of the way for years.
But, enough psychoanalyzing. I’ve found some inspiration recently.
Her name is Debra Snider. Not only is she a total ball-buster. Not only has she become a friend and colleague over the Twitter/Blog-waves. Not only is she a Champion for women, children and non-profits. Not only is her sense of self and who she is in this world phenomenal. BUT, she also wrote a stunning, can’t-talk-to-you-now-honey-I’m-reading, book, A Merger of Equals, that manages to take her life experience and send it out, fully charged, without getting her hands dirty and while maintaining total integrity.
I’m going to tell you to read this novel because it’s fantastic…but also because it holds that magic balance of fiction and reality supremely. The ‘merger of equals’ for me goes beyond the characters in the book – it’s a brilliant merger of the truth and the story.
So go! Check out Debra and her 3 books (2 non-fiction) and her blog and her everything. She’s a kick in the pants, I tell ya. And, I’m thrilled to know her…
Filed under How To, Myth or Reality, News | Tags: creative writing, debra snider, Julie Roads, social media, Writing, writing novels, Writing Roads | Comments (5)Deep Thoughts from the Bathroom
The night I graduated from high school – I gave a little speech. No, not that speech, this was just for my family and friends that had come over to our house to celebrate with some fantastical Italian food. I don’t recall every word – but part of it just jumped into my mind today…
This is what I remember:
“So, I was brushing my teeth yesterday – and it occurred to me that only a little toothpaste is necessary, really it’s all you need. And I realized that this is a metaphor for life. If you put too much on the brush, the extra just falls off into the sink anyway – and it sticks there, an unsightly mess.
On the other hand, if you squeeze out too little – there’s basically no satisfaction and you can’t get the job done.
It’s all about finding just the right amount. And this applies to toilet paper, too.”
Hmmm, even back then, my mind was thinking in blog posts.
Amazingly, I get it. I know exactly what I meant – and now that I’m older and wiser (cough, cough), I can apply this rule of moderation, balance, ‘just enough’ beyond that teenage concept of ‘life’ and into relationships, business, marketing, writing, social media, everything.
Too many words and you’ve lost the reader’s attention, too few and you haven’t conveyed your message – to name one.
If only I’d kept a journal or blogs had been invented in 1991, we’d be privy to more 17 year old ‘deep thoughts’. For now, it’s just flashbacks and 18 years of carefully measured toothpaste squeezes.
Where else does this concept apply for you? Or does it? There must be some of you out there that actually prefer to gob the toothpaste on…let’s hear it.
Image by jhoc
Filed under Myth or Reality, The Business | Tags: balance, Blogging, copywriting, Julie Roads, life philosophy, Writing Roads | Comments (10)
