Nota Bene: Lucky points

My lucky points have gone up recently. I’m not sure why and I’m not asking. As someone recently said to me, “Don’t worry about why someone likes your work, don’t ask why, just take it all in.” I’m applying that philosophy to my luckiness.

This particular streak is supported, buttressed and inspired by kindness. Kindness in the form of a mentor. An angel, if you will, who literally pointed his finger at me and said, “You are magnificent…wanna see how far we can take it?” The first stop has been into a realm of work that I had never done before. (Well, not literally because it is content creation and writing, but just in terms of the medium of video/directing/editing….)

Of course, I did what any normal person would do when faced with such praise and with such an offer. I stopped breathing. Then I panicked. Then I called an emergency meeting with my Brain Trust. Then I dove in and started doing the actual work and realized that I LOVE it…and, miraculously, I can do it, too.

But I can’t possibly gloss over the amazingness of having someone, who is brilliantly good at doing this work and more, standing behind me telling me that I CAN do it, that I AM doing it and, then, fiercely taking every little success and thrusting me into the next stage of NEW.

It’s been a thrill and fire in my brain and belly. And it’s been a win/win. I’m helping his company and he’s helping mine. And, the joy we’re both taking from the match is just, well, sublime.

And who doesn’t want more joy? And who doesn’t want to challenge themselves to be bigger, better and badder? And who would turn their nose up at lucky?

The answers to those questions are definitively: ‘lotsa people’. I should know—’cause for a while, I didn’t, I didn’t and I would. But survey says that it seems I’ve released a healthy portion of those nasty behaviors. How lovely.

So, no questions asked, just working my ass off and soaking it in, this lucky…(and maybe refusing to change my socks—you know, so I don’t break my streak.)

Image credit: Rob Warde

I’m not sorry. Are you?

Call me a linguistics geek, but I prefer to ‘apologize’. And there is a difference.

Sure. You did something less than nice. Or maybe you just bumped into someone by accident. Maybe you made an error.

But, are you really sorry? I do realize there are two separate definitions for this word, but I can’t say the word without thinking of definition #2, which reads:

in a poor or pitiful state or condition

I can regrettably make mistakes, but I’m neither poor nor pitiful.

Which is why I simply apologize.

*********************

Recently, Naomi Dunford wrote a post about an interaction with a client gone awfully wrong. It’s an intense post on several levels, and in it she says,

“We sometimes have this belief that we have to tolerate anything a client puts out. No. You don’t. Be understanding if you want to be understanding and forgive if you want to forgive. But don’t squash down that part of yourself that says, “HELL NO I’m not going to get treated like that” because you’re afraid of losing clients.”

There was talk about the mislaid belief that if you’re being paid by the person, you have to take it. Um…they’re not paying you to feel bad. They’re paying you to do a job. See the difference? I don’t know about you, but there is no ‘pile on the abuse’ clause in my contracts.

Is this also about semantics? I wonder. Ish.

Like I said, apologize, but don’t be sorry. Don’t grovel. Find a solution, make it better and move forward. You do not suck, you made a mistake (unless you really suck, but hopefully you don’t and I’m giving you the benefit of the doubt).

Isn’t this the same conversation we have about getting paid what you’re worth? Isn’t this the same conversation we have when we feel blocked?

You’re the only one who can name your value and then stand behind it—and deserve it. You’re the only one that can get it done. Two things that are terribly hard to do when you’re feeling sorry.

And now I’m kicking your virtual ass out of this virtual plane. But I highly recommend you use a real parachute.

Image credit: jcarwash31

Writing Perceptions: Theirs and Yours

Here’s the thing: if you ever go out in public (live or on the web), people are going to see you, judge you, tell stories about who they think you are (in their heads and out loud), like you or not like you.

There’s literally nothing you can do about it.

I recently read an interview with actress Kristen Stewart where she compared the attention, privacy invasion and paparazzi that surround her as rape. She’s been taken to task for that understandably and she’s apologized, but she does make a point. It is unwanted and it is abuse. Anyway, it was a simile, she did not mean to be literal. She says:

What you don’t see are the cameras shoved in my face and the bizarre intrusive questions being asked, or the people falling over themselves, screaming and taunting to get a reaction. All you see is an actor or a celebrity lit up by a flash. Your little persona is made up of all the places that people have seen you and what has been said about you.

The celebrity example is extreme, but with social media—and massive, sudden access to people’s information. It’s not that far off from our realities. Just the other day, someone I follow on Twitter said they decide whether to follow someone based on their last tweet. Ouch. Sometimes my last tweet isn’t brilliant, you know? Sometimes it’s a reaction to someone else or part of a longer conversation I’ve been having.

Because these interwebs move so fast, we are often quick to see, interpret, judge and decide.

And it’s not all negative, mind you. Just like some of those celeb photos are gorgeous, the snapshot glimpses the public gets of you on the web are often stunning.

But, if you’re a celebrity and you know the cameras are going to be there, either take massive steps to avoid them (some do this very well) and garner yourself some privacy or get your hair ‘did’ before you go outside. Your only other option is to not care.

It’s the same with us normal people, you know.

We do have a wee, little, tiny, microscopic bit of control. We can be careful what we post, tweet, update, etc. We can be careful in our interactions with others. We can always be our truest, bestest selves.

But, most importantly, our control lies in our understanding that it’s going to happen. It is! We will be perceived by others—however they want to perceive us.

Think about it. And think about it as you, inevitably, write your perceptions of those around you.

The images in this post were created by my favorite artist, Traeger di Pietro. His perception of my logo was done with paint, his perception of the Geek Girl logo with mixed media—I wish you could see it in person, the layers and bits are so inspired. If you want him to judge you in this beautiful way, visit his site, email him or just let me know (I’ve got his numbah).

Do it yourself

When I started Writing Roads, and I started hawking my services, almost across the board, people asked me for the same thing: my portfolio. They wanted to see my work. I know, it’s shocking.

I knew I could write. I knew I could write for them. But I didn’t have anything that I could show them in the way of a portfolio per se. And that seemed impossible to me. I’d been writing my whole life – how could I not have any writing samples?

There was a moment where I thought, ‘Shit! I’m stuck in the classic Catch-22. I need a job to get writing samples, but I need writing samples to get a job.’ I felt dependent and a bit hopeless. I’d thought this was all going to be so easy – people would need good writing and I would write for them, goodly. All I needed was my computer and my brain. But now, with the writing sample roadblock, I was convinced that I needed other people to make my life as a copywriter begin.

I hate when that happens. It can be paralyzing. But really, it’s just an excuse not to move forward – born of the fear of taking a risk and the possibility of being great. Which is why I was thrilled when I saw that there was another way.

I cobbled the pieces together in my brain like this:

• I’m a writer.
• I’m trying to prove that I’m creative.
• I’m trying to prove that, as a freelancer, I can be responsible and self-manage.
• I have absolutely nothing to lose.
• I have a computer – and I know how to use it. (just like I’d said before, I was just going to use it for me first and then for my clients)

So in a stunning show of non-procrastination and verve, I gave myself twenty writing assignments. And then – and here’s the kicker – I completed them! I made the whole thing up. I wrote ads, I wrote sales letters, I wrote press releases, I wrote web copy, I wrote marketing letters. And I put them in a lovely black binder.

I also told potential clients what I’d done. I wasn’t about to start out under false pretenses. This was me - love me or I’ll leave you. I figured one of two things could happen:

1. They’d respect it and jive with the gumption. And this would be good.
2. They’d think I wasn’t for real and judge the fact that I didn’t have ‘real’ samples. And I wouldn’t want to work with those kinds of people anyway.

Most of them hired me. And I slowly replaced my made-up pieces with actual client work. Though I kept a few in there…for posterity.

I’m thinking about how often we don’t do things because we think we need something outside of ourselves to complete the task.  I’m thinking about how often we wait for someone to come through and do their part before we can take our  next step. I’m thinking about dependency. I’m thinking about self-sufficiency.

Is there anything – right now – that you’re not doing or finishing or starting because you think you need someone or something else to help you? Why in the world are you doing that? I bet there’s another way.

Image credit: newwavegurly (those are not my feet, but I do have and love those shoes)

How in the world do you write, design, publish and sell an eBook?

I have two words for you: Aaron Pogue.

Back when I first got into this writing game (which was when I discovered reading and the fact that I had command over the alphabet…say age 5), I assumed that I would be writing books. A novelist! was my first thought.

But then it turned out it wasn’t so easy. Random House didn’t want In Fairy Land, my first bound attempt, see photo to the left. (I also designed this book – the binding and the lettering are made from old school first-aid tape. I was so resourceful! Though I was also the ultimate tomboy, so I have no idea why this thing is pink and flowery. Literally, no idea. And, by the way, Random House missed out – the story is fabulous.)

So I walked away from my publishing dreams a bit, but I never gave up the writing.

Enter blogging.

No, it’s not the same (I have a wildly vivid imagination, but I’m not delusional) as publishing a hardcover, New York Times Bestseller. But, still there’s something to it – the writing, the publishing, the readers…similar elements, no? It works for me – as you know – I simply love it here in the blogosphere.

Enter e-Books.

Turns out there’s a way to meld the writing and the blogging and the publishing (and still not have to wait around for Random House!). It’s called the e-Book. Yes, we all know this – but not many of us actually do it. Do you know why? Because it seems daunting – and we don’t know how.

I’m not ashamed to say that I like to have my hand held every now and again. It’s delightful to have someone wiser, stronger and more able than you showing you the way. And, I learned a while ago that asking for help is a brilliant way to…um, err, well, you know…GET HELP when you need it.

Now my current e-Book is fairly casual. For one reason, and one reason only – I didn’t know Aaron when I wrote, published or pushed it. I’ve just become privy to his new eBook: How to Build an e-Book – The Complete Guide (affiliate link). From the writing to the design and formatting to the publication, launch, marketing, affiliate tools (which Chris Brogan sang mightily about today) – you name it – he’s got it covered.

His book represents a tremendous effort (and he is a tremendous writer and person) – and I just couldn’t sit idly by and not shout WOOHOO AARON! from the rooftops, nor deny any of you from knowing about this incredible resource.

So GO! Buy his e-Book…and then turn your blog or your essays or your poems or your whatever it is that you write into a BOOK.

And sell it.

And be proud.

p.s. Maybe we should set up a webinar/storytime. You can lay down on your desks, and I can read you In Fairy Land. It really is Pulitzer material. It begins like this:

It was Friday in the Summer of 3056. A little girl named Jill was waiting for her friend Ann. Her pretty gold curls shown in the sun…

Ze interview

I love doing interviews because they make me consider things that I either think about a lot and never say out loud or completely take for granted and don’t think about enough. When someone asks you the questions point blank, you’re forced to find answers, scour your brain for how you really feel and then put those thoughts into words.

If you’re trying to come up with a strategy or a plan (business or personal) or you just can’t figure out how you feel about something…ask someone to interview you. If you feel like you haven’t ‘done’ anything lately, let their questions force you to take stock of how far you’ve come and what you’ve done. Let their curiosity and their point of view, unstick your mind and your gears.

Of course interviewing other people also begets great blog content.

Alyssa Martino recently interviewed me about writing, my personal brand and giving back to other writers. Her questions made me step back and think about the present and the past, and I’m quite certain, jolted me forward as well.

Check it out here.

Image credit: Thomas Hawk

A Twitter love story (for the disbelievers)

There was a while there, last fall, where I lost my mojo for Twitter. I was sick of listening to people trying to be funny or clever or whatever. And I was a little tired of watching myself do it. I just wasn’t coming up with stuff to ‘say’ naturally. And I was bored by the same old, same old articles being retweeted – and the same old, same old people being pimped out. So, I said very little…for a bit. (and you can only imagine how this pained me)

It was like those days when you’re sick of every single song on the radio and you wonder if there will ever be a new song that thrills every cell in your body again.

It was like I’d been dancing my ass off at the hoedown and then I just had to sit a few out. In the corner, at a table in the shadows, with my tall glass of lemonade, just watching everyone else.

And then, one day, I decided to step back into my cowboy boots and saunter back out to the dance floor again.

And, well, I’m just so glad I did. Talking, sharing, listening – they’ve brought the Twitter goods over the last few months, including:

• A regular guest spot on Copyblogger.
• Connecting with some stellar people like Jonathan Fields and Kelly Diels.
• Much fruition for The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo social media campaign.
• Work, work and more work – client work, that is.
• (p.s. this is not meant to be boastful, just providing statistical data).

But the thing that made me want to write about Twitter today, is this: I’m working on a mega big project for an incredible company called FlexPaths (we’re creating a flexible work revolution, totally kicks ass, just you wait, links to come) that involves a ginormous federal government contract. And I was tasked with finding a Drupal team of developers to handle some overtly complicated, customized, specialized web development. And it was a down-to-the-wire task, mind you.

Here’s what went down…

Friday afternoon:

• 4:30 pm EST: I tweeted, “Does anyone know of a GOOD Drupal development team? Huge project, ongoing.”
• 4:32 pm EST: My friend, @ron_miller retweeted my tweet.
• 4:35 pm EST: Ron’s trusted friend and colleague, @Robert_Rose responded to both of us with, “Talk to Michael Weiss at @Imagistic – they are top-notch and do great work.” (or something awfully close to that)
• 4:36 pm EST: I followed @Imagistic and jumped in my car to head home.
• 4:45 pm EST: Michael Weiss, CEO of Imagistic, DM’d me: “Would love to hear about the project. Call me: (818) 706-9100″.
• 4:46 EST: I called him, loved him, gave him the run down and emailed him specs. We set a meeting with his team for 7:30 that night.
• 5:00 – 7:30 I was a mom.
• 7:30 Met with the Imagistic team in CA via phone to walk them through the project specs. They were brilliant, asked great questions…they made me laugh and (more importantly) laughed at my jokes, (for which they got massive piles of bonus points).

Saturday Morning – Sunday Night

• Woke up to their proposal/estimate for the work.
• Fielded negotiations between Imagistic and FlexPaths.

Monday Morning

• Had a signed contract.

Two weeks later

• Imagistic did a phenomenal job and is on tap for phase 2 of the project. They are partners for life as far as I’m concerned, my go-to guys for Drupal/Web development and more…and the FlexPaths team is happy, happy and beyond happy.

And that, my friends, is the end – or more aptly the beginning – of this Twitter love story.

Image credit: .imelda (and fyi, don’t search for squaredancing images on Creative Commons…yikes!)

Our web connection, my blog setup and your blog writing

Our Web Connection

They don’t call this a web for nuthin’. We’re all connected, sometimes in strange ways, by its invisible strings.

Seriously, the number of times that I write something, then read another post and blink with surprise that my message is right there on someone else’s blog wrapped up in different words – is astounding. The reverse is also true, just look at the comments in my posts – it seems at least once a day someone links me to a brilliant post they wrote that connects right in or exclaims, ‘I was just thinking/writing/talking about this!”

I absolutely love this. To me, it’s like the air around us is ripe with these ideas and we’re all just plucking them off the tree and making them ours. To share this brain and thought process with so many other people is like getting to swim in that pool with the pods in it in Cocoon – I think it actually feeds us and makes us better. Sometimes it even glows.

So, I was not shocked when I woke up this morning and saw Chris Brogan’s post on the necessity of purpose and focus for your blog, when I was sitting here with the guts of a post with a similar vein. My post is about my blog and about yours…

My Blog Setup

Well, really my whole site. Way back when I started my copywriting business, I thought it was all about the website – so I got one. And I loved it. When I quickly discovered the world of blogging, I dove in full force – for my clients – helping them write and leverage this platform for their own businesses. But I didn’t blog for myself.

Eventually, the uber-talented illustrator, Elizabeth Whelan – after hearing me go on and on about what blogging could do for a shared client we had, asked me where my blog was. Uh, er, um, well… She told me she wouldn’t speak to me again until my blog was up and running. THANK YOU, Elizabeth. I pulled a WordPress blog onto the writingroads.com site and my life hasn’t been the same since.

And then, recently, I’ve been finding myself in another one of these ‘do as I say, not as I do’ situations. I’m telling people left and right…

• to just build a blog, not a traditional website
• and add static pages
• for SEO purposes
• for ease of use, content management
• for UI (user interface) or VEO (visitor enhanced optimization)
• to use plugins for expansion and growth
• to maximize sidebar real estate

And the whole time, I’m eyeballing my blog with a sideways glance. The cobbler has no shoes, the therapist’s family is full of nutjobs, and yes, the blogger’s blog is out of whack.

So, finally, with the help of the lovely, Shauna Callaghan, I’ve redone my site – the right way. You might not even notice, because it’s likely you didn’t ever click on those typewriter keys up above that shot you over to the ‘web’site and off the blog. But now when you click on them, they keep you here whilst showcasing my work and services. And www.writingroads.com gets you here now as well (no more need for writingroads.com/blog). Ahhh…c’est fini! (besides the incessant tweaking I’m doing). My wish is that it’s easier now for visitors to know who I am and what I do…

What does your blog/site need? How can you tweak it so to perform better?

Your Blog Writing

The other thing on my mind is your blog. This morning, when I tweeted CB’s post about blog focus and purpose, I added this: “(and if you need help focusing/purposing, call me)” – and several people responded with messages that looked something like, “Please help me!!!” in varying degrees of agony.

So, I thought it was worth putting it out there, but this time here: I help you figure out the blogosphere by helping you answer these questions:

• What is my blog’s purpose?
• What is my blog’s theme?
• How do I define and rein in my scope?
• What do I write about?
• How do I write it?
• How do I focus my content and outreach?
• Should I talk to other bloggers?
• Which ones?
• How do I do that?
• What plugins do I need?
• What is a plugin?
• Do I need to use Twitter and Facebook?
• How do I ______? (fill in the blank)
• …and on and on.

Let me know if you need help…after all, with the way this web connectivity thing is going, you were probably just thinking about all of this anyway…

Image credit: Jeff Smallwood

Writing is a verb.

Having no idea that it was the title of what looks to be a cheesey self-help book, my beloved friend Susan, the shepherd, said this to me the other day: Love is a Verb.

“People can say they have a feeling, they can talk about it until they’re blue in the face (I love you. I miss you. I can’t stop thinking about you.), but it’s not real unless they deliver some action with it,” she said.

It’s true, you know. Think about it.

And then, think about this: writing’s the same. Yes, writing is also a verb.

On a fairly regular basis, I get emails, tweets or comments from people asking how I manage to run my business (ie. write and and concept/run social media strategies for a living) and write this blog every day. The real question is: how can I not?

Writing helps me:

• Clear my head
• Analyze past events
• Plan for what’s next
• Emote
• Energize
• Decompress
• Create
• Laugh
• Connect
• Communicate
• Hone my skills
• Cry
• Share
• Build my business

‘Writing is a VERB’ means that you can’t just talk about it. You also have to do it. Otherwise all of that talk means nothing. Or rather it means that you want to be writer or a ______ (fill in the blank), that you think about being a writer or a _______, but you don’t seem to have the balls to jump in. Or you’re too scared or too busy or too something. (and believe me, I have things like this too)

Does that sound harsh? It’s not really meant to – it’s just meant to remind us all that the means to the ends lie in the action.

This verb concept is a powerful reminder. A reminder not to be passive, but to go forth and DO.

What do you need to verbitize today?

Image credit: Arenamontanus

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Also, if you feel like hearing me wax poetic-ish on Blogging for Business and why writing is sooo important (and a bit on the Dragon Tattoo Campaign), the radio interview I did for Bonnie Marcus’ Head Over Heels show last week is live and ready for listening!

How do you open your spigot?

You know how when you go on a diet and tell yourself that you won’t eat something – then that’s all you think about, and finally you break down and instead of having just one piece of chocolate, you’re having a fried peanut butter, banana and Nutella sandwich, a platter of nachos and a pint of Everything But The from Ben & Jerry’s?

Well, it’s come to my attention that I’m in a post-diet binge. But it’s not food that I’m inhaling.

It’s life, it’s experience, it’s sensory consumption, it’s adventure. Of late, I’ve been doing things I wouldn’t have done in the past. I’m throwing a lot of caution to the wind – almost all of it, actually. I’ve been saying yes, when I historically would’ve said no. And I used to say ‘no’ a LOT. Now my decisions aren’t making me, I’m making them. I believe it’s called selection.

My body and mind are humming with it. The adrenaline rush is palpable…and it seems to stay, not rush in and then quickly back out. It’s more like a steady build. And there’s only one way to describe the way it all makes me feel: alive.

My creative juices are flowing, my writing juices are flowing, my networking juices are flowing, my business juices are flowing, my energy juices are flowing, my – well, you get the point.

And it makes me think that maybe the ‘diet’ wasn’t so bad after all. You know, because the feeling lies in the contrast. The marked difference between before and after.

Is the secret in the risk taking? In the saying yes instead of no? In simply doing the opposite of what you would normally do? In being effective instead of being affected?

How do you open your spigot?

Image credit: lucias clay