Can you take a look at this for me?

I believe it was Ben Stiller in the 90’s romcom Reality Bites who coined the phrase ‘non-practicing Jew’ – I’m one of those too, and right now, I’m a ‘non-practicing yoga teacher’ as well. But just like my Judaism, the yoga teaching is still running through my veins. I find myself thinking like a yoga teacher – wanting to lead, make hands-on adjustments, practicing alongside my students, clients, whatever they may be.

My beautiful wife, Patti, however, is a ‘practicing yoga teacher’ and while she does teach traditional classes, her focus is on teaching privates only. Someone asked me why anyone would want a private yoga class. “Wouldn’t that be so weird,” she asked, “to have the teacher just sitting right in front of you, staring at you?”

Yes, that might be weird…it might not. Traditionally the teacher/student relationship was one-on-one with the teacher paying single pointed focus to the student, guiding them along their way. And it usually didn’t look like our yoga classes. When you work with someone in this way, you’re able to look at their body in their postures, talk about injuries or unique physical and mental limitations, etc.

One of my favorite exercises that I used to to with my students, was this (you can totally do this with me right now…):

1. Stand up (somewhere with enough space that you can swing your arms and legs without hitting anything).
2. Close your eyes.
3. Shake your arms and your legs out (like you were trying to get water off of them after the shower – really spiders is a more appropriate example but then you’ll be freaked out about spiders crawling on you and won’t be able to concentrate – so pretend you shake water off, post-shower, ‘kay? Thanks.)
4. Keep your eyes closed.
5. Now come back to standing in stillness. If you practice yoga, come into the Mountain Pose. If you don’t practice yoga, bring your feet hip width apart, make them parallel to each other, arms down by your sides.
6. Now, open your eyes.

Look down at your feet…most people, with their eyes closed, think their feet are parallel and hips distance apart – but the reality that many of you might find is that one or both of your feet is turned out or in (either a little or dramatically) and that your hips distance apart more like a foot or two apart.

And trust me, this is only the part that you can see. Chances are one shoulder is higher than the other, your head is pitched way forward and your right ear is curiously close to your right shoulder. In my case, and Patti always finds this hysterical, my body is rotated a good 15 degrees to the left from my waist up. But I, and you, think we are standing perfect straight, totally symetrical.

It’s fascinating, jarring really. And a fantastic lesson. When I have someone standing with me, they can guide my body into alignment – as often as needed, in whatever post I’m in – until my body releases the habitual holding patterns and learns the alligned way.

So my question is, why wouldn‘t you ask someone to look at all of your stuff? Business plans, new boyfriend, marketing strategies, new suit, tagline, dinner party menu, web copy, first home, logo…

A new set of eyes is likely to find the flaws. You know, when you’ve looked at something so many times, they just seem natural and right to you. I don’t know about you, but I love to be straightened out.

Image courtesy of northstander

Chewing for discovery, part 2

It occurred to me this weekend, while I was getting gas for my car – if you must know – that there is a second part to the post I wrote last week about chewing your food (or completing your tasks) before moving on to the next bite.

The book, The Power Eating Program, maintains that if you take on the practice of chewing your food to liquid, you’ll find yourself actually choosing healthier food. Because when you eat food made from chemicals (processed, with ingredients you can’t pronounce, fast food, etc.), after the first few chews – when you actually dive down into the ‘food’ – you start to taste the chemicals or you taste nothing at all. Yet, if you chew a carrot, homemade lasagna, a piece of 70% organic dark chocolate, and chew it well, you’ll see that the flavors expand, transform and multiply right there in your mouth.

In effect, good and real food is the gift that keeps on giving and it just gets better. While bad and fake food is revealed and exposed to be, well, gross.

When we complete many tasks at once, we might lose the vision to see that some tasks are really fruitless, wasters of our precious time or simply not enjoyable because they’re just lumped in with everything else. But when we do one task at a time, we can really explore each task – and have the luxury to discover if it’s rich, complex and effective…or timeless, tasteless fluff.

Hmmm…food. for. thought.

Image courtesy of girlguyed

How to be effective

About a year ago, I was fortunate enough to see Karol Rose of Flexpaths speak. This burgeoning company, and Karol along with it, is changing the way we think about work, workstyle flexibility and life in general….and I’m thrilled to be writing for them. After I saw Karol speak, I wrote about her theory of work/life balance – which basically states that the quest for ‘balance’ is a myth and a recipe for heartache and stress.

Karol maintains that we should reach for work/life effectiveness instead, and this weekend I was the poster child for her theory.

Take a two year-old boy + a three year-old girl + a Blackberry/Mac/Writing/Blogging/Twitter obsessed mom and subtract my wife (you know, the reigning Mother of the Year champ) and put them together for 53 hours with no outside help whatsoever.

The perfect storm?

It could have been, but I took Karol’s advice to heart. I needed to be effective at home this weekend. So, I turned off my computer, ignored my Blackberry’s charming gong that tells me I have yet another email and sunk deeply and contentedly into my role as Mom…And I had the time of my life.

Sure, some writing ideas popped into my head and I scribbled them down. Once or twice I checked Twitter to see what was happening. But my mindset was all about home. I can assure you that if I had had the goal of getting a few work things done this weekend, we all might have imploded.

In this case, ‘balance’ was found by tipping the scales profoundly and completely in the direction of home.

Apply this lesson where you will. If you’d like to be effective anywhere, anyhow, anytime – Just. Do. IT.

Image courtesy of Zen

Muscle, negativity or delight?

This morning, we had to do a little family health test. It wasn’t a big deal, but three of us need to find out what we’re allergic too – and that takes blood, in case you didn’t know.

I went first. I put on my bravest face and told my toddlers that it was no big deal. But the finger stick kind of hurt…and then I didn’t seem to have much blood – couldn’t tell you why – so I was squeezing and strangling my ring finger trying to fill the four circles on the paper. I bruised the hell out of my finger, but eventually I got the job done.

The Snack Pack went next. He was crying before he started. He didn’t want to get his hands washed, he didn’t want to do any of it. He screamed like the lancet was a jousting pole (sorry, watching The Tudors) or a sword. And then, the blood flowed freely out of his finger, like a beer tap. He announced five minutes later that it still hurt.

The Loaf was the last victim. She told us that she loved to get blood tests while we were washing her hands. She said, “that’s it?” when we pricked her finger. She was fascinated by the blood dripping out and wanted to make sure all of her test circles were filled and perfect. She couldn’t wait for her bandage.

Who are you in this story – today or every day? Do you muscle through and have to work extra hard for results? Are you negative and whiny? Or can you hardly wait to try something new and you’re bringing your sparkling attitude with it?

Image courtesy of Soller Photo

Before the Good Stuff

Did you know that the original purpose of doing yoga postures was to prepare the body and mind for meditation? Yes, it’s true, the goal was never tight abs and a rockin’ ass.

Still, meditation does not come easy. For the vast majority of us, it never has. As we add more and more to our lives, it grows even harder. Just ask me.

I used to wake up every morning at 5am to practice yoga – or to lead it. I worked, studied and taught at the largest yoga center in the world…and it was still hard for me to just sit down and be still.

And then, I had children and built a business, and I forgot that meditation existed. The yoga stopped.

Until last week. Something happened and I pulled out my yoga mat and, AH!, did yoga. And then something else happened…This morning, after I finished my postures, my body literally pulled me down, gently closed my eyes and dropped me into a peaceful, restful state of meditation. Block cities were being built around me, a three year-old curled into my lotus lap. But it didn’t matter. I could have sat there all day.

If you must know, I (and several of my family members) have been trying for the last three years to make myself be still, even for one minute. It’s been an unattainable goal. And I realized this morning that it was because I had forgotten the critical step. That I couldn’t just jump from crazy life to meditation, but that I had to prepare my body first.

What I was struck by was that my writing process is the exact opposite. My writing focus, that lucious connection to muse, blasts from the most chaotic and harried of moments. There is no time of preparation. There is just life and then words. Yes, I’ve written that walking in the morning helps stir my brain and stimulate words, but even then my mind is swirling and then boom.

Ah, grasshopper…so maybe my preparation is the chaos? Perhaps there is some method to this madness? Perchance ‘no preparation’ is my gameplan. What’s yours?

Image by Joe Shlabotnik

In the Flesh: Networking in the Real World

Of course this post presupposes that you’re like me – and you spend the majority of your waking hours plastered to your computer.

I’m writing, of course, but I’m also taking advantage of the opportunity that online networking, aka social media, affords me. We, you and I, can connect with people all over the world to collaborate on projects, build project teams, get new work. I’ve built an entire business in this virtual manner.

But, today, are you sitting down? Today, I’m going to a real live networking event. I know! It’s shocking.

You know I love my social media, but I believe high value is still to be found in meeting people live and in person:

• Nothing compares to looking someone in the eye and having a conversation.
• I don’t care how good you are (or your writer is) at crafting copy–charm and personality are not two dimensional. Caveat: Unless you don’t have any.
• As the service/product supplier, it’s helpful to have the body language of your potential customer at your disposal. Does this person need hand-holding, humor, a take charge attitude, old-school professionalism?
• People often come to seminars, workshops and networking events in pairs or groups. How great to have Billy say, “Jack, you’ve got to come over here and talk to this lady.” And then pull him over to you and say, “He needs you so bad!”
• I’ve been told that there are studies out there that say too much computer exposure is bad for our health, that sitting hunched over our desks isn’t good for the back and that a lack of in-person social interaction might make us depressed. That’s what they say, anyway.
• Live events are slower than the speed of, say, Twitter. You don’t have time to craft the perfect response to an inquiry when you’re face to face with it. Keeps us on our toes, right? Makes the heart pound? Love it.

When was the last time you left your computer for an event? How do you compare online versus live networking?

Image by Adactio

Are You Sitting In the Wrong Room?

It finally feels warm here today, so I’m allowing myself to think about spring cleaning…the business.

Whether you’re just starting out or you’ve been working away at this for awhile or you’re anywhere in between – I encourage you to take a good look around and ask yourself honestly how things are going. If your answer sounds anything like this:

Things are going okay. I’m doing all that I can. I’m doing everything I’m ’supposed’ to be doing. This is the most I can hope for in this economic climate. What else could I possibly do?

Then, I invite you to listen to this story.

When I was 20 weeks pregnant with my daughter, we found out that she was really small. Everything else about her looked fine, other than the fact that she was tiny. By the time she was 35 weeks it seemed like she just wasn’t getting what she needed in her internal home – at all. So, the doctors wanted to take her out.

The very idea of this turned everything we knew on its head. She wasn’t fully cooked! Babies are supposed to thrive in the womb for a specific amount of time. All of the conditions on the inside are ’supposed’ to be perfect. So, how could bringing her out make it better?

All I know, is that it did. When we brought her out of the womb and into the room 5 weeks early at 2.8 lbs., she thrived. Gained 2 oz. per day, hightailed it out of the NICU in a week and a half, floored the doctors, never had a thing wrong with her.

Think about your business, your creativity, your productivity. If it’s moseying along, but not flourishing. If you think there could be more – even though you’re doing what you’re supposed to be doing. Think about doing something else. Find out if you’re sitting in the wrong room.

Maybe you need to:

• Switch professions
• Find a niche
• Join a social network like Twitter
• Attend some live conference or workshops
• Shift your workstyle
• Change the physical space where you usually work
• Collaborate with other creatives
• Write in a new medium, like blogs, white papers, annual reports
• Get a new computer
• Combine forces with another freelancer who complements your work (a writer and a web designer, for example)
• Go directly after a company that you’d like to work with…

There are so many ways to ‘change rooms’…What could it do for you? How will you do it?

FYI – Flexpaths is a great resource, if you’re thinking about changing careers or creating a flexible work environment.

Image courtesy of RBerteig

Funny. Life is Still the Same. Ish.

Last night was Passover – when Jews from all over the world and their friends remember our history as slaves and celebrate our freedom.

Now – of course I understand that my life is mountains better than my bondaged ancestors. I’m not that deluded.

But, at our Seder last night, we were asked to role play (something I truly abhor) and my character was that of a Jewish slave woman in Egypt. The description looked something like this:

You work 12 hour days working with all different kinds of people that you don’t know, doing hard labor that is sometimes demeaning around people that can make you feel uncomfortable. Then, you go home & have to perform wifely duties such as cooking, cleaning, mending, caring for family & ’stuff’ to please your spouse….

At first I was annoyed. Dare I say, bratty. How could I know how this woman feels? cough, cough. Let’s break this down, shall we?

• You work 12 hour days (Yes. Yes, I do.)
• …working with all different kinds of people that you don’t know (Today we call that ‘working virtually’)
• …doing hard labor that is sometimes demeaning (As in writing about the benefits of mobile dry cleaning or cheap land in the Bahamas? Yes, but hey, I’m supporting my family here!)
• …around people that can make you feel uncomfortable (Uh huh – spammers on Facebook, Twitter & LinkedIn and in my email box and in my blog comments – talking about how size does matter and helps you get the girl)
• …Then, you go home & have to perform wifely duties such as cooking, cleaning, mending, caring for family & ’stuff’ to please your spouse….(Okay, the ’stuff’ isn’t so bad, but the rest of it bites)

Holy shit! I AM a Jewish slave woman!

Besides the fact that I have chosen every beautiful moment in my life…and love it. Still…I love a good Kvetch. Don’t you?

Image courtesy of Irargerich

Is It Worth It?

Warning: This post is a little bit gross, but that’s just life in the big city.

Did you see Slumdog Millionaire? I saw about 1/2 of it – until I couldn’t take the violence and left. But I did see the part where little Jamal jumps into the crapper to meet his hero. That’s serious dedication. And, it brings up the age old dilemma that I like to call:

Is it worth it?

I live in a house with composting toilets (called a Clivus). They are no where near as disgusting as Jamal’s facilities – in fact, they’re incredibly clean, and I now abhor using water toilets. But, at the end of the day, when you look down the hole, it ain’t pretty.

Last week, I was washing out one of the bowl inserts that we have for our kids’ potties – I dumped the ’stuff’ into the Clivus, washed the bowl out in the sink and went to toss it back on the potty seat. Unfortunately, my mind was busy writing blog posts or something, and without thinking, I tossed the little white plastic bowl down the Clivus.

Yes, it was one of those slow-motion moments…where my ‘Noooooooo’ came out sounding like a Borg or some such thing.

And, I had to decide. Is it worth it? Am I going in to get it? Or am I willing to let it go?

Of course the scenario made me think of my work.

How often does this question come up in business?

• When you see a freelance job posted…
• When someone blogs or tweets about an issue that enrages you…
• When a client doesn’t understand the brilliance of what you’ve written…
• When you lose a whole day because your internet goes down…

Each of these scenarios offers choices – do you you go after the job or not? speak up or not? defend yourself or not? freak out or find another way to get the work done?

How do you determine whether or not it’s worth it?

For me, the determination usually comes from trying out each option and seeing how I really feel. I trust my gut. Sometimes, I need to step away from the situation or check in with a trusted colleague. And then sometimes…sometimes…the answer is so crystal clear that it needs no thought whatsoever. For instance, there is no way I’m going to get that little white plastic bowl.

Your turn…

Image courtesy of Corey Ann

The Big Unplug

I once read somewhere that one of the biggest blog writing faux pas was to start a post with something like, ‘It’s been forever since I’ve blogged!’ Which I totally understand because:

1. Why call attention to the fact that you haven’t blogged or have a hard time with commitment?

2. Many people will land on specific blog posts due to a referral link or a specific search – and they aren’t necessarily repeat customers – so this information about your blogging habits will be superfluous, fairly ridiculous and, quite possibly, a turn off.

But what about the flipside? Beyond those random visitors, we all have regular readers and subscribers – don’t they deserve an explanation if there’s to be some sort of blogging gap?

Me…In a Hole

That said, I wanted to let you all know about a little experiment I’m about to begin. My brother is getting married this weekend in a state far, far away – and the family is in full pack it up and move it out mode.

I’ve been stuck in my little hole here, working away for some time now…years without air, years without an unplug beyond maybe a day. Wait, who am I kidding. My Blackberry never leaves my side, so it really has been years without taking a break.

The Big Plunge

So, I’ve decided to go on this trip without my MacBook and without my Blackberry.

When I first considered it, I immediately began to shake. I thought I must surely just be kidding. But I’ve been working so hard, that – now – I’m pretty gosh darn excited. The idea grew rather fast in my head over the past month.

As such, this is the last post for a good week…and I wish you all productive, valiant and fabulous days while I’m gone.

Oh, and if you hear something on the news about a woman that ran screaming into a Best Buy and smothered herself in Berrys, phones, laptops and headsets…you’ll know it was me – and that I just couldn’t take the ‘ripping out’ of the cord.

Image courtesy of FHKE